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Thread: My life

  1. #31
    Gold Member Capttrae's Avatar
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    I miss you, plainly and simply I miss you. There's so many times I wish that I could just get off here, walk away and come home to you, find some Penney ante job workin 8-4, come home to you and Ryan every night. I miss my best friend and the family we had, I miss having done in I could let my guard down around and not have to be the hard tail I show everybody else. Not only do I miss you but I need you

  2. #32
    Gold Member Capttrae's Avatar
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    There are times when I wish I could just walk away from this life, pack my sea bag, hand in my hard hat and work vest, walk down that gangway, get in my truck and never look back. Get so far away from the sea that when you show a man a paddle he thinks it's a hoe, then and only then would I be far enough away. But if I was to do that what would I do for a living? Boats are all I know, all I've done for me entire adult life. It all sounds great, but a house, find a wife, live a "normal" life, but I know what would happen. In the end I'd go crazy. I've tried coming off boats before, I made it 9 months one time the other time I made it 6. I always end up strung out, and loosing my mind. Too much down time.

  3. #33
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    Gun season closes Sunday, it's been a great year for the club, 12 bucks and 4 does killed this fall. Now it's just a wait for duck season to open

  4. #34
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    I think I'm just miserable with life. Im here at work, looking forward but then again not looking forward to going home next week. Moms physical therapy ended today, they are bringing some paperwork tm, god I hope she don't sign up for more then wonder how to pay for it, bad as it is to say, I can't afford anything else. I know she needs it but I can't afford it, and it's like she won't work with me, I'm running her checkbook for her trying to keep her above the zero line, if it's nothing more than her taking care of her lights, insurance, and gas for her house and just a partial payment on her car. All I ask is she stick with her budget but she don't she gives her ATM card to the nurse and she goes and withdraws cash then don't tell me about it so I can keep a record of it. I don't ask much, just a little help here. I'm still paying for home health to come out 4-5 times a week, idk what else to do. I'm just at my wits end when it comes to that situation. I've got a "date" with this chick when I get in, idk wether to look forward to it or dread it, I think it's pretty much just an arrangement that we both need to get out and get laid. Then there's the first weekend I'm off doing the whole Christmas crap with my dad's family and all of a sudden now we are taking family portraits DURING HUNTING SEASON!!!!! There's 8 other months of the year and they decide to do them now??? Basically I just want to go home, play with my dog, put my waders on and play in 34 degree water waiting on a duck to fly by.

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  6. #35
    Gold Member Capttrae's Avatar
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    Oh and drink lots of Fireball

  7. #36
    Gold Member Capttrae's Avatar
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    [IMG] ]
    My next boat havoc w/ a modded 37hp gtr with reverse, then it's off to the races at bayou meto

  8. #37
    Gold Member Capttrae's Avatar
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    My time off was good I reckon, first day off, went to Lake Seminole hunting dive ducks, hunted from a layout boat, that was a lot of fun, you are surrounded by decoys and when the birds cup up and commit, they come in wings locked, feet down right in your face, it's freakin off the chain!!!!!!!!! Killed a big ol drake canvasback that's bound for the living room wall. Killed a drake Ringer, and a hen Bufflehead that hunt. The ringer is going on the wall too. Went out on my "date" it was fair at best, had good conversation but no real connection which is ok, she's a cool chick, just too much drama in her life for me to get attached to. Almost sunk my duck boat, and spun the prop on my motor. Spent a couple days with the Youngun, had a good time with him, then went on home. Duck hunted the first day in the swamp, killed a few, then it locked up tight in ice and birds left. Buddy of mine in Arkansas sent me a text telling me to get over there, bc they were covered up in birds, went over there, shot a bunch of geese and some ducks. Went to moms for Christmas then went to south Arkansas for a couple more days of duck hunting then back to work.

  9. #38
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    [IMG] ]
    We did pretty good one afternoon

  10. #39
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    I'm tired, tired of not feeling useful, tired of missing her, tired of feeling like I'll never accomplish anything, tired of being alone, tired of not caring, tired of pushing everybody away, tired of mom being sick, tired of always traveling, tired of feeling worthless, tired of living, tired of being mentally exhausted, tired of no happiness, tired of feeling like a total failure, tired of faking it all, tired of being tired. Just wish it would all end

  11. #40
    Gold Member Capttrae's Avatar
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    Maybe we are crazy, but it really feels right this time, like somehow this is really going to work out. I hope so

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