Alcoholic cheater

I recently found out my boyfriend of 7 years was cheating on me with a co worker for 4-5 months or so. I feel he has some type of feelings for her cause he took out on dates and even brought her a diamond necklace form zales. He cried and beg me to stay and wants to work it out . I still love him but it hurts so much to think he was involved with someone for that long. I feel like he put me to the side while he got to know her. He says he doesn't have feeelings for her, but thats hard to believe when you go out of your way for a stranger. He has a drinking problem and is trying to get get help. Hes detoxing right now. He blames it on hes drinking problem and says we can work it . . He admitted that she was the one that call it quits because she didn't liked hes drinking habits plus found out about me. I cant help to think he only want to work it out cause she not around anymore 😞. We dont have kids together or with other people. she has 2 kids. he said that the only reason he bought her that necklace was cause of mother days she was sad or something. That he was dumb and didn't know what he was thinking.. I don't what to do .. I want to work it out but I would feel like fool if i would take him back

I understand how hard this is for you. Leaving someone after 7 years isn't an easy task for you. But from an outsiders perspective he doesn't seem to have much going on for him, an alcoholic and a cheater doesn't seem worth keeping around to me.

Yes that's true, he does work . We are both barbers but work at different shops. For some reason a lot barbers in my area pick up bad habits. Its sad to see such talent go to waste. I know its not going to be easy but it's something to i have to do. Thank you for the advice.

For me is like he did not love her enough to leave you. He was like in between waves, trying to take the safest route. Some men are like that, I can tell for experience.

My partner for almost 20 years did something similar to me, he started an affair with a co-worker, a person that also knew me well. He did not leave me, no because he did not love her, he did not do it because money issue (this was in my case). In your case, maybe he is still with you because the other woman did not want him for being alcoholic, and that is the only reason, and because you are good enough to pardon him, and still love him after the betrayal and the permanent alcoholic problem. But when a person love, does not cheat.

If you can, even if it is hard after so many years in a relation, break with him. And if you care for him, make him look for help for his alcoholic problem or you will never be happy, and he will get sick.

I agree.. why would HE be buying someone else jewelery if he felt nothing?

he can't get away with the crap over 'blaming' his drinking for his MONTHS of cheating! MY Ex was an alcy too and he never cheated. he was just always out getting drunk one way or another.

From my end.. I see he's crying to have you back because he got found out and sounds like he's losing her too? His loss.. oh well.. he made his bed, he can sleep in it.

I doubt you could EVER trust him again... right?

Sadly, I think he's done too much damage... sorry

I asked him why didnt he just break it off .. Those months while he was cheating I knew something wasn't right .. I asked over and over again to tell me if he just wanted to break up cause he was being distant.. But would always say no babe i love you .. He was just going through alot which he was still is . I asked again after i found out and he said cause its hard letting of someone you been together for so long ..

I dont think i could ever trust him I'm not even sure if shes still working there .. He says no but i can't believe anything he says.

I dont think i could ever trust him I'm not even sure if shes still working there .. He says no but i can't believe anything he says.

Exactly... sadly, this is all messed now

But.. believe me.. living with an alcy is NO fun.

he can use all the excuses he wants.. but the points are clear.

I dont think i could ever trust him .

I think its much easier to trust someone else than it is to trust someone who has cheated on you. It will take sometime, but you will be OK

You should seek out al-anon

It is a support group for those who have partners that have addictions. They can be really helpful. You can encourage your partner to go to aa. Perhaps, he may surprise you and beat the addiction.

I dont think i could ever trust him I'm not even sure if shes still working there .. He says no but i can't believe anything he says.

You've answered your question then, to me this would be the end of the relationship. Leave him, and find someone new with less issues.