How do you leave if you still love someone?

People might of seen my last post if not a little brief: my husband likes to look at she males and she male escorts and I found out he was 'chatting' to one.... I have no trust left. He says he's stopped but his phone history says otherwise. He knows he's lost my trust. I still love him.... But I can't see how we can ever get over anything when he just will not try. I've got no where to go? What can I do? I'm so hurt.

Plan and execute. It doesn't have to be an overnight thing. At the end of the day, unless you're being held at gunpoint, you've always got a choice to leave. You're far from helpless.

Get your ducks in a row financially and get your support system set up ahead of time, whether it be getting closer to friends or family or making new friends altogether. Only you know if you're determined enough to put in the effort to go through with it.

Sit him down and tell him you 2 need marriage counseling ASAP.

Then tell him that you know he has been communicating with others and continues to break trust. This must stop now or you will end your marriage.

pay close attention to his actions (not words) and proceed if it doesn't change. DO NOT speak empty words. Show him consequences with ACTION.

DO NOT have unprotected sex and if you have been, get STD test ASAP.

I'm sorry to hear about this.

He will not do marriage counselling and I've given him countless opportunities to change its been going on too long. I've already had a screening! First thing I thought of too! He won't change its so sad...

It's over, end it.

By remaining, you enabled him to continue his act.

Besides, love or not, do you REALLY want to be with this person. Recognize/accept him for who he is TODAY. Most people don't change and he clearly showed you/told you that he will not.

Based on your last post, it's over and it's time to move on. Of course it's hard but you are wasting your life in this situation.

You're all right but I don't know how to end it, we have small children and I've no where to go no family to stay with? I only work part time so can't afford my own place?

Can you at least move to a separate bedroom? That might give you some much needed space to start with. Like j.man said, it doesn't need to be immediate--you can take some time to build up your finances, get a different job or pick up more hours,, find a place. It might also be a good idea to consult an attorney on separation with children and how that would work.

You're all right but I don't know how to end it, we have small children and I've no where to go no family to stay with? I only work part time so can't afford my own place?

Your kids should play 0 role in your decision. Actually they should push you harder to end it. Remember, they are currently learning from your current relationship. And they are learning UNHEALTHY habits that they will apply to THEIR relationship. As long as both of you remain involved in their life, everything will be fine. They will be ok.

I would suggest that you collect as much evidence as possible and contact a lawyer ASAP.

Yes, I have. When a situation is toxic and can't be fixed like chronic cheating, lying and/or substance abuse or abuse in general I have left. Each and every time and I got over it. It's a total myth that "love is enough", because no it ain't. Ever. There needs to be a whole battery of other things like trust, friendship, communication and feeling safe with each other or the love dies or turns into something very corrupt.

And kids smell an unhealthy Fed up relationship with adults from a mile away, you're kidding only yourself if you think they don't or will not be harmed by this. I'm sorry, but you need to start making plans to leave. I know that'll be tough, but he will yes have to pay child support and you will need to work out a way to do this. I'm sorry, but I would cease any efforts to get him to change since that hasn't worked and start focusing on finding other ways to be able end things with him.

Go see a divorce attorney, they will often give free consultants, and find out what you have to do to leave.

I don't know where you live but I would seek legal advice about kicking him out. Enough is enough. This cannot be fixed.

A free consult with a divorce lawyer should also be at the top of your to-do list. S/he will give you a much better idea of your options than any of us.

I live in the UK, but I can't afford soliciting fees?...

I live in the UK, but I can't afford soliciting fees?...

How about legal aid? Some solicitors give free advice.

Surely the Citizens Advice Bureau in your area can help?

I was a stay at home mom with small children.

At first you feel stuck and then you put one foot in front of the other and start the process.

He needs to leave and you are entitled to support until which time you are able to provide for yourself.

You just need to gather up your resolve and commit to doing it.

Women leave toxic relationships everyday and go on to have happy well adjusted lives.

You can too

I'm so torn and heartbroken, my trust is no more, he's said many times he would completely eliminate all this she male stuff from our lives but yet I still find stuff and he still lies. What do I do here? We have small children? He's begging me to give it a go? Can I trust this man?