Confusion with FWB

let me get straight to the point i've recently entered an FWB relationship with a guy at my college and like most relationships of this nature ive begun to feel a lot more for him than a no strings attached sex buddy.

being a particularly antisocial person most of my college life i decided this one being my final semester i would to try to be more social and develop new friendships . I met him last sems though our communication was limited, my first week back this sems he asked for my number and since then weve been communicating constantly. I learned that he is somewhat of a bad boy and social butterfly which contradicts completely with my shy/ good girl nature. he's currently on a path to change his wild ways( douche bag attitude, smoking, partying, numerous females) and i can see the change in the way he treats me he is such a gentleman doing simple little things like rubbing my feet after a hike, making sure im always walking on the inside away from traffic, checking in to see how im doing everyday. eventually an attraction grew and we had sex ( it was THE BEST SEX IVE EVER HAD)...since then weve been pretty consistent with the sex ( he would come over on average two/three times per week) weve become increasingly closer he helps me cook and clean when he comes over and seems genuinely interested in my day to day life. we even had a pregnancy scare once i was freaked out beyond compare despite the fact that i took a morning after( which i had an allergic reaction to ) whereas he was level headed and welcomed the idea of a child if it happened.

the problem enters where he is adamant against a relationship because of a recent break up along with the fact that this is my final semester and i intend to go back to my island, having tried long distance relationships before he believes they dont work for him. At this point i know i dont love him but it would be so easy to do, everything is going great right now but i dont know if i could handle all the emotions that will build the further we progress not to mention when the semester finishes advice would be greatly appreciated.

I think your biggest issue is the fact he knows your leaving. I can understand not wanting to commit to someone, especially after only a few months. Is there any reason for you to stay longer to see where this relationship leads? Do you feel there is potential past fwb? That's always the challenge. Is it more than great sex? Based on what you say it sounds there is potential for growth.

I agree, Its not my intent for us to commit so quickly but the mere fact that i know our relationship is limited to 3 months or so is daunting to say the least. Unfortunately I cant stay because I have a job set up back home. Though the more i think about it the more i think it could work IF he's willing to put in the effort : he's here for one more year (then its back to his home island or maybe staying here he hasn't decided yet) and its a 20 min plane ride from my island to this one so I can visit on weekends or he could maybe come accross to meet me. I definitely think its more than bomb ass sex lol, our personalities mesh and we communicate great

Well, this is one of those leap of faith moments. If the commute is reasonable, you could try that. Or take a leap and tell him your staying. Or keep it as it is and see where it leads. Take an opportunity if he opens up on the subject. Don't want to scare him away, either

If after a few months and lots of sex he is still adamant about not having a relationship with you, I don't think he will change his mind. He's been getting the girlfriend experience and sex, with no commitment...why would he want to commit and work through long distance and dry spells? It's human nature really. This is why FWB don't work; they only work if both partners are genuinely not interested in a relationship, or they both fake being "cool" and ok with NSA sex while both actually wanting a relationship. If one partner pretends to be ok with FWB when they are actually not, and the other is sincere about not wanting any commitment, how could this possibly work?

And you, my friend, don't sound like you're the FWB type, it is obvious from your post that you want to be in a relationship.

I think you'd be smart to stop the sex and acting like a girlfriend to this dude who only sees you as a f*ck buddy, because your feelings will only deepen and nothing good can come out of this. Tell him you have developed feelings for him and you cannot do this sex arrangement anymore.

It's not his fault either, he didn't sign up for a relationship and he's been upfront with you from the start. He went in with NSA sex in mind, and it's not his fault you have developed feelings for him.

It's just an unfortunate situation, and the only solution is letting go. If you're not the f*ck buddy type of person, then don't ever settle for being a f*ck buddy; some people can handle it, some can't.

He has made it clear he isn't willing to commit or work at it. Bomb a$$ sex is what it is for the next three months. That's what you signed up for.

He has made his position very clear.

If you are changing the rules, I suspect he will exit completely.

The only one with any confusion is you. He is very clear this is a sex only thing, you are the one who is hoping for more and looking for signs that simply do not exist.

Either be 1,000 percent happy this is just sex or get out now. He isn't going to change, he has made that very clear. You are doing the child's equivalent of continuing to slap at the electric fence on the hope you won't get zapped and it's a losing proposition.

And as others have said if you can't separate sex from emotions then don't be signing up for FWB in the hopes that will net you a relationship. It never does, because you're having sex with people who CAN and DO separate the two like this guy clearly has. Nothing wrong with not being the FWB type, but you're being deceptive if you think this is the way to his heart and you're doing it just to land a boyfriend.

For the protection of your own feelings I would say you need to stop. The feelings will only become stronger and be harder for you later on. If there is no future for you guys as a couple, and that's what you are leaning towards to wanting , then you need to stop because it doesn't look like he wants that.

Falling for a FWB happens. I think you have to tell him otherwise you will just torture yourself. If he returns your affections and wants to start a relationship, which doesn't seem like it, then great. If he doesn't you have to stop sleeping together because it's no longer emotionally healthy.

Most Women think they can keep sex and emotions separate, I know ,I've done it myself and then they fall for the guy. When a guy tells you it won't go any further, he literally means it WILL NOT go any further. Anything else you are seeing or thinking, is just your own imagination of trying to grasp at a relationship that won't happen.Don't stick around hoping he'll change his mind. He won't, He was very honest from the very beginning

I say continue on in your Bomb A$$ sex for the next couple of months but discontinue ALL BONDING rituals that you and he have been doing. If you don't want to get attached to your FB then you should not be doing any bonding rituals whatsoever. Your and his interactions should be limited to: exchange of a few pleasantries, shared over one drink or a coffee, get bizzy and then say goodbye until next time.

If you're going to do this again, don't make the same mistake(s) regarding bonding actions as you and he have done in this instance.

He's made it clear to you that what you have with him has a shelf life. Don't think that Bomb A$$ sex that YOU perceive to be Bomb A$$ is going to garner you a relationship. Most times, it won't even garner you a true friend.