girlfriend tried to kill herself because of me...

im in a very hard situation, ive been dating my girlfriend for a few months and we had an argument and during the phase of making it up to her i told her my feelings i got emotional and ended up messing up i hanged up the phone after i said maybe this is goodbye but its up to you , and i stupidly couldnt say what i wanted to say right. what i meant to say was that i really like her and she makes me happy and i didnt want to argue and wanted to be with her, i tried texting her but by then it was too late her cousin picked up the phone and texted me that she was in the hospital she tried stabbing herself in the heart and she was so close to dying. i feel terrible because i could express my feelings correctly and because of me she did the deed, she left a note on her laptop and the song Stitches by mathew mendez and now i feel horrible because i couldve avoided this. shes in the hospital alive doctors said if the knife wouldve went deeper she wouldnt make it.she is sleeping and idk what i should do if i should try and contact her or see her and let her know what i meant or just leave her alone and heartbroken. i cried and prayed to god to let her live iknow this is a hard topic but ianything would be appreciated i really have feeelings for her and its my fault

This is not your fault, not at all. Don't even think like that for a second.

She is the one that took those actions. AND those actions should speak to you loud and clear. This girl is troubled and you want to keep distance.

It should only validate that the decision you made to end it is correct.

STAY AWAY

I hate to question this, but are you sure it was her cousin? How are you finding out this information?

Regardless of what happened, it is not your fault.

It's not your fault, and you'd be smart to let her family take care of her and get her the psychiatric help she needs.

Most people don't try to stab themselves in the heart over a breakup; the fact that she did shows she is very mentally unbalanced and she has underlying issues that go beyond your relationship. You're lucky you got to find this out now, rather than later.

It is unfortunate, but you are not the best person to help her. She needs professional help and her family's, not yours. What are you going to do down the road, if you realize she's not the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, and want to end the relationship? Are you going to be scared she may kill herself again? Or not break up just to avoid her committing suicide, even if you're unhappy?

You need to step back and let her family take care of her now. She is in no shape to be in a relationship with anyone, until she gets treatment and a better handle on life.

I also hate to be cynical about it, but what concrete evidence have you seen that she is actually in the hospital recovering from a suicide attempt? Have you visited her?

If she did in fact try to kill herself because of a 3-month old relationship, then the poor girl is nowhere near ready for one. She has some pretty significant issues she needs to work on before she is healthy enough to do so. If you want to be there for her while she is recovering from this and getting help, in a friendship capacity, then this would be one exception I could make to my typical "move along and don't contact" strategy after breakups - but only if you are capable of not getting back into a relationship with her.

This is not your fault. You did nothing wrong, nothing that a healthy functioning person would not have been able to cope with. You are not a terrible person, and you have nothing to feel guilty for.

This was in no way your fault. How do you know this information? If it is true it is NOT because of you.

It is not your fault. She did this because she wanted to make you feel bad and she wanted your attention. She took it upon herself to try to guilt you! So that you come crawling to her and tell her how much you love her and how sorry you are. But,..... that is a huge red flag. If I was you I ran as fast and as far away as you can, because this relationship can't be fixed. She will recover and then she won't stop making you feel guilty if you stayed with her. She would force you to stay with her by making you fear that she will do something like that again. This is the worst reason to stay with someone. A relationship based on fear and guilt will never last. Move on with your life. There is someone out there for you can be truly happy with!

Jumping in for a quick:

No way is it your fault ever ever ever. When we act in a self destructive manner it always is an act of our own doing for which we are 100% responsible if also often without blame. Self harm to this extent is usually also associated with something else that is out of balance, such as chemical/hormonal imbalance etc. Whatever it is, nobody else causes this, ever.

I am so sorry for your pain.

Hi Leo....

Please don't be blaming yourself for her actions.

This gal sounds severely depressed and you can NOT help her get better with it.

she needs 'professional' help with this. And has most likely needed it for a while. A while BEFORE you came along.

Sadly though, she 'acted out' within the time you two were talking.

People and couples have problems all of the time.. but we do not end up doing things as harsh as she did. She did this because of prior problems going on.

As mentioned (hormonal/chemical imbalance.. etc).

Now that she is in the hospital, I hope the act on getting her some professional help and on some med's- if it is depression.

I know you feel really bad but don't, because you didn't cause this. She just 'lost it' and needs to get some help.. okay.

I've dealt with depression, I know how 'low' one can feel with it.

So empty, so alone, etc.

If you want to go see her.. might i suggest you ask her parents to ask her if she'd like to see you?

Im sorry you had to encounter this.. Im sure it's shocking.

If you find this all too over whelming, maybe think about some prof help?

tc