Does she miss me or realize her mistake?

This girl I've known for the last three years ended things with me around June. But we are the only saw each other for briefly. For about 2 months I would say and even then she said she did not want to put a label on it. She said she wanted to focus on other things as she was dealing with health issues and I decided to still be a supportive friend due to her health issues. About 2 months ago she went through my phone and got upset that I had been talking to other women. Has been 2 months since I've seen her and I have implemented the 30 day no contact rule. Last weekend she began messaging me to two weeks into my 30 days. Even getting annoyed when I did not respond at first. It was clear that she wanted to start a conversation because when I finally responded saying that I had been busy but I hope everything was fine she read the message but did not respond but chose to respond 30 minutes later saying "OK". So clearly she read my response decided not to respond but then later responded thinking I was going to further our conversation. She already had said before that she would never ever entertain the idea of being with me again so I do not understand why she is trying to maintain contact especially by leaving the lines of communication open.

If that was all that appended, I wouldn't call it communicating. She texted, you replied...she said ok. End of conversation.

She didn't realize anything. She was bored and reached out.

If that was all that appended, I wouldn't call it communicating. She texted, you replied...she said ok. End of conversation.

 

She didn't realize anything. She was bored and reached out.

Then why would she get annoyed that I did not respond to her first initial message? And the app shows that the person read the message so why would she read it and then decide to respond 30 minutes later?

If she was sorry...would she get annoyed? She simply didn't like your response.

Regardless, it all means less than nothing. Block her and avoid further wastes of time.

She was probably busy at the time. Or maybe she wasn't sure if she wanted to respond initially because she didn't know what to say. Don't overthink it. And why does it matter?

She is very prideful so she would never admits explicitly that she is sorry

So what is the question?

I guess the question is whether or not she wanted to talk

I guess the question is whether or not she wanted to talk

She wanted to make sure that you were still willing to talk, that's all.

It sounds kind of like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants and wanted you available and exclusive to her, but didn't want to give or be the same in kind.

You do know that makes for a very bad, one-sided anything right? If she didn't want to commit fully to a relationship then she had and still has no right to get upset if you talk to half the women in the Northern Hemisphere or beyond for that matter.

And now it's kind of apparent she's wanting you to chase her down and beg her to talk to you, hence the whole texting then ignoring you.

This all sounds like way too much drama. Your responded once, I wouldn't reach back out unless she does so by more than just text. And sooner or later you are going to have to draw boundaries anyways, maybe by starting with telling her that unless you guys were or are in an exclusive relationship there is zero point and zero right in her getting angry that you continue to see other women.

I guess the question is whether or not she wanted to talk

Since she stopped texting, I think the answer is no.

I agree with Paris.

It is hard to divine what the ex is even thinking. I wonder that myself all of time. Thinking of trying the spellcaster or numerology to decipher the code

Seriously, taking things at face value is where I would be. People say lots of things they don't really mean during a breakup.

If she wants more, she will let you know. I would just keep moving on and if you want to, respectfully respond to her texts in a friendly disinterested way.

I wish you luck. I understand your issues!

I guess the question is whether or not she wanted to talk

Well seeing as she didn't take it any further it doesn't seem so. It is more likely that she just wanted to know if you were responsive to her. Eventually you gave her what she wanted and she disappeared again.

And the app shows that the person read the message so why would she read it and then decide to respond 30 minutes later?

You are reading far too much into this. Not everyone answers immediately they read a message.

i think you should exercise more common sense when presented with the idea there is some post-break up voodoo you could/should resort to to trick a person who has no intentions with you into asking to have you back.

the 30 day no contact rule.

there is no bloody 30 day no contact rule, regardless of what "how to manipulate your ex into begging to have you back" site you paid to tell you that

offering the charity of your friendly support due to her frail health is a laughable excuse. (how does one even offer friendly support while ignoring the person as part of a manipulative strategy anyway? nevermind.) She isn't taking you seriously or reconsidering her decision. She doesn't need the (nonexistent) support of a person whom she's not interested in beyond an ego stroke. there is no benefit in leaving a passage open to her since she intends to use it for nothing other than validation (by checking whether you're still available for communication). and you'd do better stopping contact for good.

arrgh somebody here my cry here

 

I here ya RainyCoast.

 

It wouldn't be so bad if those using this rule were doing so in the hope of moving on and just getting to a 30 day check point (and then another 30 and so on) but usually it is more about reaching out after those 30 days and following another set of rules on what to say and how to say it etc.

I agree with RainyCoast. Where did this 30 days of no contact come from? The fact is OP no contact is usually permanent and/or done until the day you are indifferent to the person you're doing no contact with and you could genuinely be friends or not with zero romantic feelings.

No contact is to let you heal and move on and gain enough distance and perspective to see things for what they really are. Like the insanity of someone telling you they won't commit to a relationship with you, but still gets upset when they violate your trust, look through your phone, and get upset at the fact you're talking to other women.

Sorry, you need to go back NC. This girl does just want what she wants when she wants it and good relationships, friendship or more, do not thrive on a one-way street.

She already had said before that she would never ever entertain the idea of being with me again so I do not understand why she is trying to maintain contact especially by leaving the lines of communication open.

I would take the above statement at face value. Other than that, anything less than camping out on your doorstep with the hopes of getting back together, is simply throwing out the bait hoping you'll bite, which is better known as game playing.

I agree with RainyCoast. Where did this 30 days of no contact come from?

I think SuperDave made it quite popular on here by starting a 30 day No Contact thread. However, it's intention was to help those on the thread get to a 30 days milestone in order to heal .... and thus continue to heal. It seems that a lot of people mix it up with using NC in order to get an ex back and it has become rather a "thing", to reach out after 30 days.

Yes, because your ex is supposed to think "Oh, it's been 30 days! Time for me to realize how wrong I was and beg him/her to take me back!!!"

And, OP, how do you know she was "annoyed"? Did she say she was "annoyed" with your response, or are you assuming she was "annoyed"?

Yes, because your ex is supposed to think "Oh, it's been 30 days! Time for me to realize how wrong I was and beg him/her to take me back!!!

maybe legend has it a timer goes off signaling "repent and beg mode, activate".

I think SuperDave made it quite popular on here by starting a 30 day No Contact thread. However, it's intention was to help those on the thread get to a 30 days milestone in order to heal .... and thus continue to heal. It seems that a lot of people mix it up with using NC in order to get an ex back and it has become rather a "thing", to reach out after 30 days.

Got it, that makes sense. Sort of like how one gives themselves a goal of reach x number of days without doing something and then it should be easier to keep doing something. That makes sense. The whole "it's been 30 days, they'll now see the error of their ways and I can contact them as I've fully healed" makes zero sense at all.

First, it takes at least six months to get over a serious heartbreak, maybe a little less, a little more, but one month in? Nah, by that stage you're still full on in grief usually. And for the dumper 30 days is usually still at the "whoo hoo I'm free!" stage of things.

Six months, a year, yeah maybe. But 30 days is indeed more likely to simply be a goal post of "I did this for 30 days and survived, let's go for another 30 and then 30 more" until one simply says, "I find the whole thing boring as toast. I'm going to go out with friends tonight and see who else is out there."

OP, that's the way to do true NC.

This is all very heart wrenching. We had so much chemistry together I don't get why she would want to screw things up for a lot of things to get screwed up like this

Because unfortunately it takes far more than just chemistry to stay together. Chemistry is nature's way of drawing two people together to mate, true. But without a large number of other things that often doesn't translate into a relationship that will grow and that can sustain and withstand. And yes, I know it hurts. All you can do at this point is focus on your healing and understand that in her universe and in her head what she is doing makes sense to her, even if it doesn't to you.

As you move forward and get time and distance I think it will all make more and more sense to you, but fresh in a breakup I well remember that nothing about that makes sense but the pain. And for that all I can tell you is to remember you were happy before her, you will be happy again without her. This link might have some things that can help, it's a pretty good guide to getting through a breakup.

She has been messaging me once a week for the last month now just to see or say what's up. I'm going to have to ask her straight up what she wants.