Jump to content

Could someone give me advice. I'm really scared for some reason.


Recommended Posts

I have been with my company for 5 years. The same manager almost always the same co worker..they switched out a few people but no one of real importance in my position. My manager is pretty nice and easy going. Our job is REALLY stressful and she helps by not micro managing etc. when we request days off in advance she is okay with it usually etc. Anyway she just announced that she is being promoted to a higher position so we will be reporting to someone new. I'm super scared. All my mind can go to is getting someone really mean and just terrible. I don't know why I'm so scared right now. Does anyone have any experience with this or any advice they can offer. My job is stressful already and then adding this on is just...idk. I do have anxiety issues so I'm not sure if thats playing a part or if I should just really be concerned. Thanks to you all who can help.

Link to comment

Change, it's a part of life, accept it.

 

Be optimistic and happy about the new person.

 

Worrying, stressing etc does NOTHING.

 

Also, your job is as stressful as YOU make it. Don't make it so stressful and it won't be. Take it easy, relax....life it best lived at a leisure pace.

 

 

Link to comment
its kinda funny because I always thought I was the type of person who embraced change. I guess I'm not.

 

We all ARE and AREN'T at times. Don't worry.

 

See what happens. Set your mind to optimistic. Sometimes, when you think stuff, it happens!!! So thinking "worse case scenario" can trigger just that.

 

Setting your mind to "optimism" might also trigger "better manager".

 

 

Link to comment
im do worried right now I can't even think straight. I should just find a new job

 

Why?! You're freaking out before the fact. Sure, maybe the new boss will be horrible - at which time you can begin looking for a new job. But what if he/she isn't horrible? Do you want to go through the stress of finding and starting a new job - after five years - when you may not have to?

Link to comment

The poster who said "change is a part of life" nailed it.

 

This isn't about this particular situation.

 

Stress and fear can both be very powerful and useful emotions to feel. They tell you when to react and they help you decide how to react. However, they are 100% useless in situations like this. You have no idea what's going to happen. You have no idea if you're going to even need to react, yet you're stressing over all the possibilities. This isn't the first time you've stressed over something relatively mundane in the workplace.

 

This is token anxiety and it's an issue you should highly consider therapy for. I'm not saying it's a giant issue, but your quality of life will go through the roof if you can tackle this.

Link to comment

Funny, I started EMBRACING things I didn't like vs dwell and hate on them and now I appreciate them.

 

It all started with "winters". Everyone hates winters right?

 

Well 3-5 years ago, I said to myself, let me embrace winter this year. And now I love it! Went out for a hike, was the best hike EVER. So peaceful and tranquil.

 

There is absolutely NOTHING like winter morning, when it snows, wake up early in the morning. SOOO relaxing. No cars/sounds/people. love it.

 

And when it does snow a lot, get the sleds! Look back to your childhood and do what you used to do!!!

 

I love winter now.

 

 

 

Basically, what I'm trying to say is, THINGS ARE WHAT YOU MAKE THEM!!!

Link to comment
Im really trying and i have been in therapy before. It helped a little but these things still get to me. I have been through a lot in my life, things I guess I don't feel comfortable posting but I have been through bad things so its messed me up

 

Don't let your past effect your future. Your past is as bad as YOU make it.

 

What happened in the past is irrelevant (to an extent of course), what you do NOW and going forward is all that really matters.

Link to comment
Don't let your past effect your future. Your past is as bad as YOU make it.

 

What happened in the past is irrelevant (to an extent of course), what you do NOW and going forward is all that really matters.

 

thats true, I learned that the past is irrelevant at this point and I need to move forward.. I'm trying to let the rest of my day be good. I don't want to worry too much. I'm really trying .

Link to comment
thats true, I learned that the past is irrelevant at this point and I need to move forward.. I'm trying to let the rest of my day be good. I don't want to worry too much. I'm really trying .

 

Don't worry, we all go through what you are going through.....keep your head up. Life tends to work itself out.

 

Worrying is irrelevant and accomplishes nothing. Heck it's actually not healthy for you!

 

 

Link to comment
Im really trying and i have been in therapy before. It helped a little but these things still get to me. I have been through a lot in my life, things I guess I don't feel comfortable posting but I have been through bad things so its messed me up
More reason than ever to keep pursuing therapy. If you've got coverage under your employee health plan, you've got zero excuse not to continue.

 

Or don't. Totally up to you. I simply know for me, personally, I'd go nuts if I were stressing over work this way.

Link to comment

I try to talk myself away from anxiety instead of deciding that this is the way I've always been, so I must necessarily be that way NOW. Deciding that I've got an anxiety problem would only just talk myself deeper into it.

 

Everyone has anxiety sometimes. It's all about how we choose to deal with it at any given time that can either build our own confidence in our self control and life management skills, or it can talk us into being a nervous wreck--and for what? What is the secondary gain might we get from that?

 

I focus on my breathing and try to consider how nervous it would make me to be the new person who needs to enter a new group, and by putting myself into that person's shoes, I stop making it all about me. I consider ways that I can become more welcoming, more warm, more helpful, and ultimately more proud of myself for growing into my maturity.

 

Head high, you can do this.

Link to comment

I used to be a real big worrier. Anxiety was my middle name. One day someone told me my life would be cut short by this, it can really do a number on your heart, so I just stopped. If I can't take immediate action, I no longer worry about it. I worry about next to nothing now and I am much healthier for it. No more insomnia, I'm out like a light when my head hits the pillow. The Serenity Prayer is my motto. It will take some practice, but you can do it, too.

Link to comment
got any good recommendations lol

I'm so glad its friday so I can regroup this weekend.

 

Does it help to become solution-oriented? For me, sometimes it helps to write down all of the worst possible outcomes, and then to write right next to them what I'd do to deal with them.

Link to comment
Does it help to become solution-oriented? For me, sometimes it helps to write down all of the worst possible outcomes, and then to write right next to them what I'd do to deal with them.

 

Yes, this is THE way that most therapists will advise managing anxiety because it forces you to tap the intellectual parts of the brain and use those over allowing emotions to drive the show--and drive you bonkers.

 

Good call.

 

Think of how unproductive it is to just keep repeating "I'm nervous. I'm scared. I've always been this way. I have a problem." That just ramps up the volume on the anxiety--for zero pay off.

 

Instead, focus on problem solving by following your fears into potential outcomes--and then figure out how you would resolve those. It can end up either productive or boring--but either of those will lead you away from working yourself into a meaningless tailspin.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...