Says she needs time to herself

I started dating a woman I work with about two months ago after she let me know she was interested in me by flirting online and in the office. Things were great at first because we were both crazy about each other, but they moved really quickly. She actually moved things into the bedroom sooner than I would have, and it seemed I could do no wrong.

However, she had just supposedly ended a 2-year relationship and her ex-boyfriend kept calling her and even showing up at her apartment uninvited when he found out she was seeing me. He even let himself into her apartment once and waited for her there. She was shook up enough to call the cops to get him out and came to me afterwards for emotional support.

I was nothing but sweet to her. I was crazy about her, and envisioned a long-term relationship, even marriage. Maybe I was too nice.

Last week she told me she was still talking to her ex-boyfriend and said that we need to get on the same page spiritually if we're going to get really serious. A couple of nights ago, I asked her about her talking to her ex and she said she missed him, even though her mind told her to stay away from him. She also said she did not really want to be with anyone right now, and wants to have at least a few weeks to herself to decide what she wants to do.

I'm thinking it's over. I think she's crazy to still talk to her stalker ex and she probably just said she needs time to herself to decide because she doesn't want to hurt me, Mr. Nice Guy. Am I wrong?

Welcome to the back burner. I suggest you not simmer there very long.

I think it takes time for people to heal out of getting out of a relationship, especially if there was abuse involved. Not sure if that is the case here; just speculating the possibility since he apparently doesn't have boundaries to not let himself into her home and wait for her there. That would completely freak me out too. You didn't say how long they were broken up before you guys started dating. Seems like it probably wasn't that long. It's just too soon. Maybe after some time passes it will work out, maybe it won't. But she's not in a place to start a new relationship right now. It's better to date people who have already made a clean break from their ex and have had some time to heal.

I'd say you were a rebound.. sorry.

And WHY would ya be even thinking Marriage, after only 2 months??

Whatever's going on with her and her Ex... has nothing to do with you... so don't worry. I suggest you back off totally and find someone out there who isn't pining over their ex, still.

You're right - 2 months was too soon to be thinking marriage. I was being desperate and clingy.

I would just forget about her. If she decides to move past the ex and commit to you, she will come back.Would have been messy trying to have a relationship with someone who wasn't over her ex. Believe you me, I know. The ball is in her court, but now you risk being placed in the friend-zone. That's okay, because you may not have had a healthy chance anyway. Not to say that she may have different feelings towards you later, but don't put all your eggs into this basket.

Just my thoughts.