Caught Girlfriend Setting Up Dates With Others On An App. Help?

So my girlfriend [F19] of 10 months recently downloaded an app called "The Whisper". It's basically a college app with the purpose of people posting messages or pictures for the community to read, people then respond, and send PM's. Since she downloaded the thing, her phone had been absolutely blowing up. She's getting roughly 4 messages an hour and every one of them are blatant sexual advances. There are very few messages being sent her way that aren't of a "coming on" type sexual nature. Honestly, it's like the entire Tinder crowd just migrated over to this thing. She seemed to very much enjoy reading the messages off to me, so she is being open to an extent but I'm not amused about the messages. I had made it clear that I find the app to be unsettling and had asked that it be deleted.

She responded that she agreed and would delete it. But she didn't. I dug into the app a bit more online and it was basically described to me as a sort of "unofficial hook up app". So...now I'm a little concerned. Particularly because she has an extended history of cheating on me as well as her ex.

Everything on there is anonymous so I decide to create an account and gauge her reaction to an individual who would "come on" to her.

What do you think? Justifiable? Nonjustifiable? Let's hear it.

TLDR: Caught my gf trying to set up a date on a college app, broke up, want to know if my actions were justifiable.

Not getting any advice on Reddit so it's been posted here...

Nope, justifiable, imo. Plus you said she has a history of cheating on you, I'd not take her back a second time or third, not sure? but let her be single and app mingle.

She isn't worth your time. Those who put themselves into these situations will cheat. Don't give her another chance.

Totally 1,000 percent justifiable. I'd be ashamed of you if you let that slide instead. Proving once again cheaters are not too bright. Please, never look back. You can do so much better than this.

I don't even understand the question. Duh. Toss her skanky rear out.

I only read the beginning and the end, not the whole conversation, and my answer is: of course you did the right thing! Nobody who is in a relationship has any business being on online dating sites or hook-up apps, period. I don't care what their reasoning is, it's wrong and it shows intent to cheat, or at the very least, she is an attention seeker, and that's not good either.

I'm sorry for you the young'uns, who have to deal with all this hook-up trend, relationships are difficult as it is...

Yeah you definitely did the best thing you could have done for yourself.

I don't even care about the cheating. I would've dumped her for not being smart enough to see the most obvious effort at setting someone up I've ever read.

She's absolutely losing her , sent me nearly 200 messages, carved wh@re and FAT into her arms in big block letters, keeps threatening to kill herself and asking for another chance.

One of the things I find most disgusting is that she's unemployed and broke her phone. The phone she was using to do all of this was the one I bought her just days earlier. .

I love her though, what the hell am I supposed to do?/

You're suppose to think of yourself right now and not be a love struck fool and forgive her.

Totally justifiable on your part. She was too quick and easy to give the fake guy her #. Well played, I must say.

She's absolutely losing her , sent me nearly 200 messages, carved and FAT into her arms in big block letters, keeps threatening to kill herself and asking for another chance.

 

One of the things I find most disgusting is that she's unemployed and broke her phone. The phone she was using to do all of this was the one I bought her just days earlier. .

 

I love her though, what the hell am I supposed to do?/

What do you do? Chalk it up to a bad experience and move on. She is a serial cheater and you know it. Find someone who will treat you right.

Got some heat recently for "baiting" her. Was I out of line in this regard? Should I have refrained from going through with such an activity? Aaaaaand...she maintains that she was "looking for friends". I'm adamant that this is not the case. Looking for feedback.

She is dumber than dirt.

Yeah, I think the baiting her was unnecessary. The " extended history of cheating on me" is all you needed to know to break up. Knowing she had the app on her phone should have been more than enough for you to end it right there. You didn't need any more information, or to prove anything. Just keep in mind for the future, it'll save you some time.

Her history of cheating is what puts me in your camp. Were it not for that, I'd say you might have went overboard. It is mildly flirty, but you slammed her with common interests and knew how to appeal to her. Admitting to being bi may have made her a little more comfortable. She did make sure to mention you several times and even said you'd need to meet... you.

If that conversation were stand-alone, I might consider her side.

Then again, I don't know why you needed to even do this is she really has an extensive history of cheating on you.

Get rid of her. That is my advice.

I think you did the right thing. I read the beginning and end and skimmed the middle. As someone who has been cheated on before, I understand why you would set up the fake account to trick her. I think its a bit shady, but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. In the end, you found out what she was up to. I would suggest staying away from her. I knows its hard, especially when you love her. But, she'll keep doing the same thing. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You'll find someone who respects you enough to make you her one and only.

Well...to be more specific, she cheated on me once and she cheated on her ex bf once.

Honestly though, I'd like to hear some diverse opinions. She's messaged me about 200 times, sent me pictures of her cutting herself up, deleted the app and smashed her phone with a hammer, she's really going off the deep end asking for a second chance here.

she maintains that she was "looking for friends". I'm adamant that this is not the case. Looking for feedback.

Her chat was about friendship, not hooking up, so she's free to make that statement. You assumed cheating. I'm curious, what does her "extended history of cheating" entail? Did she have sex with others while with you? Or did she talk to other guys?

Get rid of her. That is my advice.

Totally agree.

Well...to be more specific, she cheated on me once and she cheated on her ex bf once.

 

Honestly though, I'd like to hear some diverse opinions. She's messaged me about 200 times, sent me pictures of her cutting herself up, deleted the app and smashed her phone with a hammer, she's really going off the deep end asking for a second chance here.

Her chat was about friendship, not hooking up, so she's free to make that statement. You assumed cheating. I'm curious, what does her "extended history of cheating" entail? Did she have sex with others while with you? Or did she talk to other guys?

She was going to see a college guy who looked like a model to go to a movie and a very expensive restaurant behind my back. After the "fake guy" told her that her picture was "more his speed" and that she was "gorgeous" and said "it's a date".

If it was a friendship thing, I want to hear it. My judgment is funky right now. If I'm blowing things out of proportion, please god inform me ASAP so I can get this right.

Honestly though, I'd like to hear some diverse opinions. She's messaged me about 200 times, sent me pictures of her cutting herself up, deleted the app and smashed her phone with a hammer, she's really going off the deep end asking for a second chance here.

Call a mutual friend if you think she'd really harm herself and ask that friend to look in on her. Other than that, cut contact with her and block her on social media. You'll be doing yourself a huge favor.

She is dumber than dirt.

I think this is excellent advice too.

She was going to see a college guy who looked like a model to go to a movie and a very expensive restaurant behind my back. After the "fake guy" told her that her picture was "more his speed" and that she was "gorgeous" and said "it's a date".

 

If it was a friendship thing, I want to hear it. My judgment is funky right now. If I'm blowing things out of proportion, please god inform me ASAP so I can get this right.

I'm starting to think we're being baited now. Calm the eff down. You're doing the right thing.