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Thread: Ex gets into rebound one day after breakup, gets name tattoo of new boyfriend

  1. #11
    Platinum Member toby17's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Flabbergasted
    I think that her feelings for me were real
    Tell yourself what you want. Her feelings for every new person is real. Real and short-lived.

    She needs security, that's the issue
    Again, tell yourself what you want.

    but the step to go to the tattoo parlor seems very strange to me. I think the guy, who is my age, forced or convinced her to do that
    Hogwash! Have you listened to anything the other posters have said.

    She's the kind who comes on strong and fast in the beginning and leaves fast.

    She's crazy about this guy. But it won't last very long. Then she'll be on to the next one.

    Your problems are:
    - you got carried away when this 36 year old came on strong;
    - you believed it was real because you wanted to and because she "future-faked" you; and
    - she left you so quickly, your head's still spinning.

    What she felt in the beginning, felt real to her then. But she's gone and she's not coming back.

    Now block her on Facebook.

  2. #12
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    haha your name sure suits your situation ....I said OH MY GOD so loud reading that that my cat jumped !!

    dont try and kid yourself that the new man made her do this ..but yes I feel sorry for her as well ..but sorry for her because this is a desperate ,needy woman who will do anything to have a man and be in a relationship ..if you hadnt said your ages I would presume we are talking about a couple of teenagers , it is ridiculous .. honest darling she would have gone out with anybody ..ANYBODY ...and I hate to say it but you probably got a lucky escape , she would have wanted more and more .. I assure you marriage and living together where her ulitmate goal and she would have gone on and on and on ..and the second you resist (like you did now) she would have been dumping you to then go out with anyone who will give her the security of a relationship .

    Don't lose a seconds more sleep over this , she wont be .. why the hell should you , I have met many people who just HAVE to be in a relationship and the lenghts they will go to, to fit inoto someones life is astounding ..this has the lifespan of fly about to launch itself into someones chicken soup and then she will be with another , then another , then another ..so long as she is with someone .

  3. #13
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    I would laugh if I were you! Tattoos are permanent after all! I'm sure in time she will realise that

  4. #14
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    Thank you all for your support! 9 months is not a short time, but yes, she obviously needed someone....at this stage anyone.... I usually am quite grounded, I encouraged her to structure her life, sort her stuff out, find a job, etc. etc. The new guy is taking her on trips clubbing on a party island, they spend whole days drinking white wine on a terrace, buying each other gifts, flaunting everything on ffing facebook.... yes facebook what a nice website that is huh. None of our mutual friends has liked her relationship update, she is the joke of the town now. I am not friends with her, but mutual friends tell me the gory details. I don't really want to block her, as that would be kind of a message too. It is hard to control the urge to look though.

    Seeing how this all ended up, should make me laugh indeed. I can laugh about it a bit, but my head is still spinning like crazy, albeit getting better. Time will cure this I guess. She rides by my house twice day to bring her kid to school, I live in front of a supermarket, where she spends 2 hours a day, I can see she's there as it is right in front of me and her bicycle is parked there. Luckily it is holiday season now. This is a small town, so I am bound to run into her soon. Anyway, I will try to keep my distance, and screw my head back on. This forum is a great help guys! Thanks!

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  6. #15
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    There is another issue with the tattoo, the guys name is the same as mine, except for 1 letter.....

  7. #16
    Platinum Member mhowe's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jessie89
    I would laugh if I were you! Tattoos are permanent after all! I'm sure in time she will realise that
    Like Jimmy Buffet says....a permanent reminder of a temporary situation.

  8. #17
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    Take it from me, I went thru something very similar and actually worse than this about 3 or so years ago. We were together for 3 and a half years. Very long story short, she started behaving differently, not making sense, picking fights etc. Then she said she 'needed a break'. Up to that point she had the honesty of a 4 year old. One week later and with a lot more confidence she broke up with me. I knew it had something to do with someone else but had no idea who it was because we spent all our spare time together and I knew all the people she worked with. She swore she wasn't seeing, wasn't interested in, didn't start seeing and texting anybody etc while we were together. She even gave me my favorite quote of hers of "No, of course not. We were together for 3 and a half years. Do you really think that I would do that to you. I love you. Do you really think that I'm that type of girl?" Given her track record for honesty, I believed her 99.9%. But when you get to know someone's mannerisms and habits as well as you do when you live with someone, I knew something was screwy in Denmark. It turns out, I was right.

    A few days later, I saw the two of them kiss about 8 feet away from me. She STILL DENIED it. I went berserk. When she turned around and saw me, it looked like someone had just kicked her in the stomach. She knew she had been busted.

    Wait, it gets even better lol. After I 'caught' her ( I wasn't actually trying to catch her in the act, I was just 'lucky' enough to be there) she knew I knew and she also knew that there was no going back to me after I had seen this firsthand. She had to think fast because she was facing her greatest fear of all. BEING ALONE. She only did THIS so she 'could date him'. Do what you ask? SHE MARRIED this guy because his visa was expiring the following day. And yes, that's a felony btw. I had the phone in my hand the next week and on the other end was the governmental office for Immigration. If it weren't for the fact that I felt so bad for and like her mom so much, I would have dropped a dime on her and she'd be in prison right now. (all of this was confirmed by a retired friend of mine who was once a federal officer for 40 years. I'm pretty sure he knows what he's talking about). My blood was still boiling at that point. She didn't even have the decency to tell me that she married him. I had to be told by her mother 1 week after it happened. Her mother couldn't even look me in the face because she was so ashamed and embarrassed. Her mother still calls me on my birthday and sings Happy Birthday to me, lol. She's a sweetheart. I love her Mom.

    The last I heard, they were still married. Happy you ask? I highly doubt it. At that time, and it started a lot earlier than that, she was no longer friends with any of the people she was when we were together. Her sister, who was her best friend, and her no longer talk. She lives on the other side of the country and they spoke to each other at least 3 times a day when we were together. She no longer talks to her mother either and she doesn't go to any family get-togethers anymore because of the two of them being the 800 pound gorillas in the room. He's stuck up, cocky, 32 years old (5 years younger than her) and still makes minimum wage. His entire life is soccer and he is convinced he is going to be a professional soccer player. The only thing he is professionally is a Barista at Starbucks. And one of his friends had to get him the job. The last time I spoke to her mom about any of this, (she works next door so it's a usual occurrence and it's how we met) she told me that her sister, her grandmother, and herself all think that because I caught the two of them together that fine morning, she is doing anything possible to still try and convince everyone that she never cheated, lied, and she did this for love. They all feel she's basically living a lie. And the image that she is portraying couldn't be any further from the truth.

    It doesn't make me feel good knowing that this is the case, especially because of what it has done to the rest of her family. And I'll admit, it still stings when I think about it. But I loved her and I truly want her to be happy. But as far as I can tell, she'll never be truly happy until she can admit to doing what I know she did. To make it even a little bit worse, he knew about me. Because of that fact, nobody in her family respects him or gives him the time of day.

    I actually just logged in for the first time in a long time and I saw your post. I wanted to see if my story could help you somehow. I was numb for over a year when this happened. NUMB. Now, I am the opposite of numb and doing better than ever. To the best of my knowledge, she is living in a self-made prison all to avoid being known as a liar and a cheat. Even though she is very much both. She has given up on the fact that nobody in her family will ever respect this guy because they know he too is a snake in the grass.

    Even though you may think you know her so well, some day in the very near future you're going to have to admit to yourself that you don't. And that's a tough pill to swallow, tougher than the one you have already swallowed. And I don't want to come off as a 'tough guy' or cocky or anything like that. Please don't take it the wrong way. But having lived thru it myself, I can honestly say it does get better. You are better off. And you are very lucky, believe it not, that you (like others have said already) dodged a major bullet. I know it doesn't make sense now, but it will.

    So, not to be a wiseguy or anything but, I offer you my Congratulations on dodging such a bullet. You are a very very lucky guy. Trust me. I know what I am talking about.

    PS - Feel free to look up my earlier posts and read all about it. I go into much greater detail when it was all still fresh in my mind. I left the really good and juicy parts out of this post. Enjoy the read. And best of luck to you, it'll all be over soon enough and you'll be a better man because of this.

  9. #18
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    Thanks for your post. The situation is different though, what happened in my case, is that I pushed her away by not committing soon enough to her, according to her, and what killed me is the fact that she moved on so fast, with the tattoo, engagement and everything. I have "what ifs" in my head, and try to really understand what most posters say, that I indeed dodged a bullet. It is hard though, this morning I woke up with a spinning head again, I will go out to do some exercise see if I calm down. I have this incredible urge to see her. That would be really easy, as this is a small town, haven't seen her or spoke to her in 5 weeks now.

  10. #19
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    I walked into town this morning, saw them sitting on a terrace. I pretended I didn't see them. She stared at my direction the whole time. Ah well.....

  11. #20
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    Another thing what I wonder about... since she announced her engagement on Facebook, and nobody gave her likes, not 1 mutual friend... she has cut off contact with everyone it seems. She has given herself 100% to Mr. Playboy. Is that normal behaviour in these situations?

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