Alcohol - Deal Breaker?

I don't drink alcohol. For whatever reason, I never started and I don't have any plans to start anytime soon.

Is not drinking a deal-breaker for you?

I don't mind if other people enjoy an alcoholic beverage on occasion. I don't mind hanging out at a bar if that's where people I care about want ot hang out. I don't do anything to make anyone uncomfortable but I've been told that the simple fact that I don't makes people feel judged.

Should I feel limited to people who don't drink if I start dating?

I think this is simply a mater of preference.

That being said, I know a lot of people will say they're open to being with someone who doesn't drink when they drink, but as time goes on they realize they don't mesh.

Personally, I'd never be with someone who didn't drink.

I've tried, but I can't even keep common grounds with FRIENDS who don't drink... They just sit in a corner while we all drink and even if they're totally cool they put the entire vibe off.

I don't think it will reduce your dating pool drastically or anything, I think it's just all preference.

Nope, not a deal breaker for me. I would actually prefer somebody who doesn't have costly bad habits like drinking and smoking and other "recreational" pursuits.

My son has said drinking and smoking are a big deal breaker for him . He doesn't even want that in his friends never mind a romantic interest.

I found this to be an odd question. I dont care if a person drinks as long as they dont get hammered all the time. I did have a friend who is an alcoholic and I found I could not be around him as he was verbally abusive, argumentative, self destructive and a general pain in the butt. So I stopped associating with him.

I am not much of a drinker, I like a beer or girly drink from time to time and many times I just drink ice water or pop especially if I am driving. I would never only associate with either drinkers or non drinkers, I respect everyone's right to do as they please in a social situation as long as they dont get drunk.

You should not take up drinking in order to please anyone!

My last boyfriend did not drink and it wasn't a problem. I enjoy the occasional drink but I am not one to get really drunk, nor am I into the "bar scene". I drink less than once a week, maybe a couple times a month.

I am thinking that people who really enjoy drinking AS AN ACTIVITY with friends or as a way to bond will be put off but many people are not that way.

As long as you don't have a "thing" with drinking, it's fine. I can always tell if someone is judgy or uncomfortable with others drinking, even in moderation, and that's a problem because that throws off the vibe. But just not drinking, that's fine.

Please do not consider drinking as a way to make dating easier. If you don't enjoy it or want to do it, it's not worth doing.

Don't worry, I have no intention of starting to make anyone else happy.

I just remember a former "friend" or two telling me it was off putting and that I should at least like order a fake drink and pretend to sip it to make other people comfortable. I thought it sounded stupid and childish.

I am thinking that people who really enjoy drinking AS AN ACTIVITY with friends or as a way to bond will be put off but many people are not that way.

Funny you should say it that way. That's pretty much exactly how I feel. If people are hanging out and doing stuff and happen to be having a drink I'm totally cool. You wanna go to a game and have a beer, sure. You wanna shoot some pool and get a drink, sure. You wanna go bowling and have a drink, no prob.

The only time it's awkward for me is when the drinking itself is the social activity and there's nothing going on but the drinking. Then it feels pretty phony to even be there.

Don't worry, I have no intention of starting to make anyone else happy.

 

I just remember a former "friend" or two telling me it was off putting and that I should at least like order a fake drink and pretend to sip it to make other people comfortable. I thought it sounded stupid and childish.

It is stupid just to drink or work to pretend like you are drinking.

By all means, enjoy yourself, have a soda that you like or something like that. It may feel more natural to you and others if you have a glass in your hand while others do. Just to blend in a little. But you don't need to "pretend" it's alcoholic. That's silly. No one cares, and if they do, well, they need a life.

I don't know your age but many my age still see drinking as an activity. Me, I see it as something that tastes good and makes me feel good, but it's not an activity and I don't need it to have fun.

Stay away from bar flies, major party people, and people who always seem to need a drink to have fun/unwind.

Funny you should say it that way. That's pretty much exactly how I feel. If people are hanging out and doing stuff and happen to be having a drink I'm totally cool. You wanna go to a game and have a beer, sure. You wanna shoot some pool and get a drink, sure. You wanna go bowling and have a drink, no prob.

 

The only time it's awkward for me is when the drinking itself is the social activity and there's nothing going on but the drinking. Then it feels pretty phony to even be there.

Then in those instances, you probably shouldn't attend. Because social drinking and talking is a normL conventions and if you are sitting there without even a soda water in front of you...it stands out like a skunk at a lawn party.

I don't drink alcohol. For whatever reason, I never started and I don't have any plans to start anytime soon.

 

Is not drinking a deal-breaker for you?

 

I don't mind if other people enjoy an alcoholic beverage on occasion. I don't mind hanging out at a bar if that's where people I care about want ot hang out. I don't do anything to make anyone uncomfortable but I've been told that the simple fact that I don't makes people feel judged.

 

Should I feel limited to people who don't drink if I start dating?

I don't think you would be limited by reasonable people who drink infrequently. A lot of it's going to come down to how much and how often they drink. I think there will be a correlation to how much they drink and their willingness to date a non drinker. If they drink more, they are unlikely to want to be around a non drinker. And if you are a non drinker, you probably don't want to be around someone that drinks more than occasionally.

I don't drink alcohol. For whatever reason, I never started and I don't have any plans to start anytime soon.

 

Is not drinking a deal-breaker for you?

Like you, I'm a non-drinker, never started and never will. No, it's not a deal breaker for me but there was a time when people used to make nasty, mean and sarcastic comments to me about my non-drinking, like I was a freak from another planet. When I was younger, it took a while to get used to this, but as I got older it no longer matters to me. Also, as they got to know me, they finally learned to accept that I just don't drink. Maybe it's an age thing - younger people have a hard time accepting that one of their mates don't drink with them. Older people no longer care, lol.

Not at all. Drinking to excess or putting others at risk over drinking is a huge dealbreaker for me. I also had a father who was an alcoholic and lost a close friend to a drunk driver, so nope. When someone said they didn't drink I was and am to this day relieved.

If someone has a problem with you not drinking I'd think that would be a bit of a red flag.

Don't worry, I have no intention of starting to make anyone else happy.

 

I just remember a former "friend" or two telling me it was off putting and that I should at least like order a fake drink and pretend to sip it to make other people comfortable. I thought it sounded stupid and childish.

Perhaps, they had issues with alcohol.

I have several friends who don't drink. Doesn't bother me at all. If alcohol is what bonds you to your friends, it's an issue.

I have decided not to drink for about three months - On a diet and reducing sugars. Don't think my friends will care.

I have never dated a non drinker, but did talk to a few OLD.

My Sister & I were watching movies & having a couple of wines, and I decided to show her the guy I was chatting with.

I told him we were watching movies & having some wine. He then proceeded to question me on what type, how much had I had, how much I was planning to have.....what a turn off.

I blocked him.

So I am open, if the guy doesn't have a problem with me having a glass or two with dinner occasionally then all good, if he is going to question me then deal breaker.

For me, it's not exactly a deal breaker...... but I like to go out to happy hours and spend time with friends and enjoy the drinks (in that order). If a guy doesn't drink, but is comfortable being around people who do drink, then that is fine. Get a soda or bar appetizers. If a man doesn't even like to be near any kind of alcohol, that could be a deal breaker for me. If he's a recovering alcoholic, that could be difficult.

I've dated guys who drank too much and that's a really bad place to be too. Just today, I "passed" on an online match because all of his photos were of him getting smashed at a bar. Great when you are in a frat, but it's not really a turn on once you're out of college - I look at the photos and wonder about alcoholism.

I think it depends on the person. I know I don't care if who I am dating doesn't drink (even though I sometimes do for occasions.) If they didn't want to during said occasion I wouldn't think any less of them. To me it's like someone not ordering meat, and instead something vegan. I don't care. I think it's great you don't drink

I know people for whom this would be a deal breaker. I guess because of possible incompatibilities in lifestyles.

Personally I don't really drink anymore and would MUCH prefer to be with someone who also doesn't drink much.

It's not a deal breaker....but if a guy in my age range (30+) lists on OLD that he doesn't drink with no explanation. I usually pass because at this age the #1 for not drinking at all is they had issues with addiction in the past, and #2 is they are on some kind of medication that makes drinking a no no. Yeah, no thanks.

Very few people (in my experience and this could just be me) actually just don't drink because they never really got into it.

It's not a deal breaker....but if a guy in my age range (30+) lists on OLD that he doesn't drink with no explanation. I usually pass because at this age the #1 for not drinking at all is they had issues with addiction in the past, and #2 is they are on some kind of medication that makes drinking a no no. Yeah, no thanks.

 

Very few people (in my experience and this could just be me) actually just don't drink because they never really got into it.

I hadn't considered that. Neither situation applies to me, but how do you explain that you just never did and don't have any interest in starting?

I don't drink alcohol. For whatever reason, I never started and I don't have any plans to start anytime soon.

 

Is not drinking a deal-breaker for you?

 

I don't mind if other people enjoy an alcoholic beverage on occasion. I don't mind hanging out at a bar if that's where people I care about want ot hang out. I don't do anything to make anyone uncomfortable but I've been told that the simple fact that I don't makes people feel judged.

 

Should I feel limited to people who don't drink if I start dating?

I dated a guy for over 2 years that did not drink at all. His best friend in high school was an extreme alcoholic and ended up killing herself. I'm not suggesting that you have a reason as heartrending as that to prevent you from drinking - I'm just saying that because of that, he did not drink, at all.

I only ever drank socially, maybe once every 4-5 months. I went out with friends and he would come pick me up to make sure I got home safely. He didn't seem to mind if I did go out drinking, but I was careful not to do it around him.

It's not a dealbreaker. You know how you sometimes have friends that you do different things with? That's just how it was.

BTW if someone feels uncomfortable and "judged" by your not drinking when you're not doing anything it's on them. And it usually means they are scared they have a drinking problem and see you as a reminder of their own fears and guilts. Like I said it's not a deal breaker for me and I do love my margaritas and wine, on occasion. But the blunt truth is alcohol makes me tired and I'm older, I already can't afford to feel tired as it is, so I limit myself since dragging around for days afterwards just makes anything more than an occasional glass of something not practical. Plus yeah, the emotional scars of seeing what it can do to people anyways.

Stay true to yourself. In the end you're wayyy ahead of the rest of us who ended up vomiting in a corner or doing really stupid or even dangerous things just to socially fit in. (And yes once upon a time I did do that--so very dumb.)

I knew some people who just never drank. My one friend never did, not ever even wanted to try it, yet all his best friends still drank. They never thought anything less of him and they all hung out just fine (he didn't care if they were drunk and they didn't care if he wasn't). Maybe this was a rare circumstance? His father was an alcoholic so I have a feeling that's why he never tried.

There's no real point to drinking anyway, it just makes you feel tired after and more often then not sick. There seems to be more bad than good that can come with it. If I were you'd I'd keep to not drinking. When I see people who don't drink I don't think "well they must have had a drinking problem in the past" in my experience, people who didn't drink never did because it just never was appealing to them.

Drinking shouldn't be a life changing thing so important that it makes people avoid straight edge people...I think that's just ridiculous lol. But then again there's A LOT of people who drink all the time and forgotten how to have a good time without. These people are worth avoiding anyway. Someone without drinking problems but drinks on occasion is fine in my books, as well as someone who doesn't.

I've seen more alcoholics in my life then I'd like, and it's just a sad existence. They are just always drunk and angry, and it not only effects their health but everyone around them suffer. It's like they completely destroyed all their happy receptors and are now a living shell of nothing that drinks to try and feel something. (3 people in my family were alcoholics, and I've seen at least 5 other alcoholics from friends families, as well as the occasional drunk hobo/bum in the city, and it's down right depressing!) It's a lot more socially acceptable these days (for some reason) but the truth is, it's still destroying lives and families.

I don't care at all if someone drinks or not..as long as he's not an alcoholic. Then again, I'm not a drinker myself apart from the occasional glass of wine with dinner...and I could do without that, too, if my date didn't drink.

I hadn't considered that. Neither situation applies to me, but how do you explain that you just never did and don't have any interest in starting?

I think that's exactly how you describe it. I mean that's how I describe to people that I don't and have never smoked cigarettes (or pot).

Alcohol is definitely an acquired taste. If you're not really against it maybe stretch yourself a bit and try a nice wine tasting some time. You don't even have to swallow the wine...maybe you'll hate it....or maybe you'll find a specific kind of wine that you wouldn't mind having every once in a while. Or maybe you'll find you really like whiskey....idk. My point is there might be one thing you like well enough to have half a glass of that when others are drinking if that makes you or them more comfortable. I know quite a few people who aren't big drinkers and that's their game. Pick the one drink they like and nurse one drink all night.

ETA: I'm not saying everyone has to drink...but for me..."I never tried it and I don't care to" seems closed minded. Having a glass here or there won't hurt you and red wine is actually said to be good for you. All alcohol is not he same and it won't all make you tired and sick especially if you have just one drink. I don't mind if they say they tried and it just wasn't their thing but to never even try.....I wonder what else they are going to be so closed minded towards. Also to say "I tried beer and didn't like it so I'm not going to try wine or whiskey"....well that's silly too they aren't at all the same, heck beer can be vastly different on it's own. It doesn't hurt to try. That's just my opinion though.