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Thread: Is it bad to ask to see bfs bank account?

  1. #1

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    Is it bad to ask to see bfs bank account?

    Bf keeps saying how much he wants to move out and become independent. Currently live together but with my family.

    I work part time as Im studying in university and still manage to save quite a bit (earn less than 500 a month).

    Bf earns more than 300 a week, yet by the next payday he has nearly run out of money, sometimes buys stuff online that are relatively expensive but nothing really shows up via post all the time.

    We started saving at the same time, yet I seem to have more in my savings than him. Is it bad to ask to see what he is spending his money on considering how often he says to me he wants to move out and become independent?

  2. #2
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    It absolutely is bad and it is not your business -- you do not share finances and you do not support him. You can open a discussion about saving and goals, you can read a book on finances together, etc. But you are not his mother.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You have the right to:

    1.) Kick him out if you feel he's not being responsible in paying rent of helping with bills or 2.) Break up with him due to not being a good partner in saving money and won't be someone you can rely on in the future.

    But you do not have the right to ask to see his bank account, accuse or demand anything to do with his own money.
    You're his gf, not his parole officer or his mother.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How long have you been dating? Why is he living with your family instead of his? He needs to move out. It's that simple. His money is none of your business. You are not married or engaged. Have a talk with your parents about getting him out.

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  6. #5
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    You're over-stepping it by asking to see his bank account, yes.

    Tell him that you can't commit to moving out with him until you see that he isn't running out of money all the time. My sense is that you're suspicious of what exactly he's spending his money on, correct? You mentioned his money disappears quickly yet he isn't receiving much in the mail that would indicate where this money is going.

    Are you worried he's not being honest about how he's spending his paychecks so quickly?

  7. #6

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    I did think it would be bad to ask thats why I havent and asked on here, we have spoken about savings and goals multiple times but I dont think its getting anywhere. Next time it comes up it will just be a comment that itll take longer to move out if youre not saving enough. Thanks for the reply!

    I have always been open about my finances and others around me, and he is typically but I just wondered, thanks guys!

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Of course it's not getting anywhere. You are both living off your parents. You seem to be driving this future thing but he's enjoying a free ride to buy toys or drug or whatever.

    You are not compatible and do not have the same goals.If he had to live with roommates (as he should be doing) he would have to grow up and be responsible for food chores bills budgeting etc.

    As long as you and your family enable this, he can remain a child and spend on toys drinking drugs whatever. He's just along for the ride. You are not even engaged. Bring this puppy back to the pet store.

  9. #8

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    We both pay rent and bills to live here, before he moved in with me he was paying more rent with his parents, so it was a natural next step in the relationship but also to make rent cheaper for the both of us to be able to save more.

    I have more bills than him because I drive and he does not.

  10. #9
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    It's a bad idea to share living space with a romantic partner if you feel you have to look at his bank account and finances and cannot trust him to let you know what he can afford.

  11. #10
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    You don't have any right whatsoever to ask to see his finances. If you think he's being dodgy with money then end it.

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