What would you do?

Recently I finally broke away from being used and mistreated by my ex boyfriend of 3 yrs. The past year he's been in a relationship with someone while he was with me at the same time. I have stopped all contact with him but some how he still manages to contact me and find me. I want nothing to do with him. However, my question is should I tell his gf? I feel terribly for her and I know that if I was her I would want someone to tell me the truth I just don't know how it would look coming from me.. I don't want her to think I just want him back.. I'm also worried of what my ex is capable of doing if he finds out I told her about his lies. I just want to get this all out my chest and keep on with my life help!

I would not tell his current girlfriend anything at all. No reason to antagonize him, just going to cause problems for you. Just keep telling him you want no contact if he contacts you. You don't know the new gf, don't worry about her, take care of yourself.

She likely knows and is happy to have won him. Just move on.

Get a restraining order.

Don't get a restraining order, just keep telling him no contact. Only get a restraining order if you feel threatened. Studies have been done on the ineffectiveness of RO, they generally only work on people that don't need it, antagonizes men, and may make things worse. Don't go there unless it's really necessary. My point here is - don't antagonize him, don't get revenge, put no energy towards him.

I don't think a restraining order is necessary, it's just the constant emails and somehow appearing everywhere I am. And yes, I do know who she is this is why its hard for me to walk away from all this and leave her behind with this mess of a guy. She isn't a "new" girlfriend he lied to me about her to use me to cheat on her. He used us both. I just don't want this to come all back to me when she finds out what he's been doing to her.

The additional detail is good here. I don't mean to keep posting but I think this guy is on the edge of becoming a bigger problem for you. I stand by earlier advice, let her deal with him, talking to her may cause issues for YOU. I don't want you to have more problems. Have faith she will figure things out on her own.

I don't think a restraining order is necessary, it's just the constant emails and somehow appearing everywhere I am. And yes, I do know who she is this is why its hard for me to walk away from all this and leave her behind with this mess of a guy. She isn't a "new" girlfriend he lied to me about her to use me to cheat on her. He used us both. I just don't want this to come all back to me when she finds out what he's been doing to her.

Why haven't you blocked him?

I have blocked him in all social media as well as any phone he's ever contacted me from however I'm not quite sure how to block email address and I've been told I can't block private phone calls by my carrier

Keep ignoring.

No point in telling the "new" gal.

I had a similar experience.... after an extended period of maybe 9 months NC, we were able to gingerly begin contact. A few years later, we now have a certain sort of friendship, as neither of us is the same as the chaotic people who had been enmeshed previously. As dramatic as that was and as much disregard as I had for his behavior, it feels like we were two different people.

Saying that to put some distance on it for you. This will pass, and it will fade, and you will study and learn how it is you ended up in this situation, if you choose to. In my life, the most hurtful chaos became my biggest gift, and now, I know the painful experience is what I needed to learn a few things about myself. There is no more drama now, with anyone, and I am happier than I have ever been.

Use this to advance your life in the direction you want it to go. His gf is not on your path.

I have blocked him in all social media as well as any phone he's ever contacted me from however I'm not quite sure how to block email address and I've been told I can't block private phone calls by my carrier

Go to your setting in email to block. I believe you would have to go into privacy . You'll have to poke around with it.

I misspoke about the restraining order - late at night and not thinking.

Have you told him to leave you alone? I had the same problem years back, with a guy I briefly dated. It took two years before he backed off. What I should have done was charge him with harassment. Some people just don't go away.

What I did re email was redirect all email from his address to a folder I set up for just that purpose. I also chose the setting that when the email comes in, it would be marked "read" there would be no notification, and it would not go to my Inbox. This way, the email was invisible unless I went looking for it.

I am glad I did not file charges, though I too came close to considering a restraining order. It would have just embroiled me further.