Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 10 of 10 FirstFirst ... 78910
Results 91 to 96 of 96

Thread: Gf is going to weekend festival with guy friends. Doesn't want me to go.

  1. #91
    Bronze Member skyhop333's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    217
    Gender
    Female
    Wait a minute.... she is okay with you having a separate room, but she is rooming with men who don't have their significant others around....

    Suggest she stays in a room with you and her guy friends room with themselves. That's all a room is for is sleeping then that basically busts her if she denies you.

  2. #92
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    10
    The girl has a crush on one or more of the other guys and doesn't want the OP there to spoil her flirting fun.

    Steer clear of this women if you already haven't.

  3. #93
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    43
    Wow it's been a few years since I made this thread. Life is all about learning experiences, so I am updating this in hopes that others can give some insight. Maybe someone else is dealing with a similar situation and get something out of this one.
    I will try to make this a short as possible, this event was a struggle in the following months. There was no infidelity but I always questioned my value to my gf in comparison to her friends. We remained together for almost 4 years, but these years were filled with much resentment and unhappiness. The below quote from another member speaks loudly all these years later, as I was excluded from so many things. I have never met a person who kept me segregated from holidays, work parties, birthdays etc. For all the major holidays she would fly back home to another state and never include me. I've spent every Christmas, New Years and other big events alone. I tried to go home with her many times, but she said it was her family time. I expressed my feelings of being left alone for the holidays year after year. "Will this change?" "Where do I fit in the picture?"
    I've been cheated on in a previous relationship, that was awful. But this relationship made me feel alone and sad in a different way. I questioned my value and self worth.

    Has anyone dealt with type of person that keeps everything segregated? BF, friends, family?

    Originally Posted by FirstIn
    Davekin, go with your gut on this and how you think you will feel about it all the future. I had similar problems with an ex in the past. While I'm sure nothing happened, it highlighted the fact that she wasn't very mature and had different values to me. Those guys were friendzoned too but never became friends of mine. Think about this, will these guys be friends of yours too in the future? If yes, then this trip will never bother you again. If no, then you will also feel a little peeved about this trip.

    The fact that you are writing about it shows that it bothers you. I can say with hindsight, that things like this will come up again throughout the relationship. You expressed your uncomfort and your GF does she care? Or is she simply saying too bad for you deal with it? Would you want a wife who goes away on trips with the boys and doesn't want you around. Time to start talking about this stuff now because these kind of values don't really change in people. Sure those guy friends might fade away over time, but I guarantee your gf's approach to situations like this won't change and you will be stressing about plenty of these situations in the future. One day she might dump you for being a pain over it and you will be angry that you never stood by you values.

    And... you say you are dating her and not them. I take this as you don't really like these guys much. I used to say the same thing. But your gf picks them. So you are also saying you don't like your girlfriend's choice making abilities. Really think about yourself here.

  4. #94
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    9,240
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by davekin

    Has anyone dealt with type of person that keeps everything segregated? BF, friends, family?
    No. Because the moment it became apparent that I was going to be excluded from his inner world, I'd be gone.

    I questioned my value and self worth.


    No doubt the situation caused you to feel this way. But by making the choice to stay in it suggests that you don't honor your own value and self worth. Why did you subject yourself to this and why didn't you believe you deserved better?

  5.  

  6. #95
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    12,560
    Gender
    Female
    You were part time filler by the sounds of things.

    As for your question.. No, people in a relationship do not want you segregated from their family and friends. It almost sounds like she was hiding something (or someone) from you.

    I'm sad that you let this go on for four years and didn't get yourself away from her and her segregation the minute it happened again after telling her how much it bothered you and made you feel sad and alone.

  7. #96
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    43
    I don't know why I put up with it for so long, I guess I actually believed it would "get better". Now it's obvious, with hindsight, things were never going to change.

Page 10 of 10 FirstFirst ... 78910

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •