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Thread: Recommended Books

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
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    Very apt, I should think.

    "The Best of Single Life"
    by Bella DePaulo PhD (Author)

    and

    "Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It"
    by Bella DePaulo PhD (Author)

    " In this collection, she defines singlism and shows where it is lurking in the workplace, the marketplace, and the media, in advertising, religion, and pseudoscience, in our universities and professional societies, in laws and policies, and in our everyday lives. Dr. DePaulo takes on the issue of why singlism persists – often without apology or even awareness – at a time when so many other isms are considered shameful. Drawing from social science research, she also explains why the simple statement, “I am happy,” when uttered by a person who is single, can elicit paroxysms of hostility, denial, and scorn."

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
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    link removed

    Excerpts:

    "Romantic love can be an enjoyable and harmless emotional game.
    But we shouldn't attempt to build our lives around this artificial feeling."

    "Almost from the moment of birth,
    we have been surrounded by romantic mythology.
    Every element of the popular culture assumes that romance is real:
    television, movies, novels, poetry, soap operas, advertising,
    popular music of every kind, newspapers, magazine, & dating services.
    We grew up in a milieu of romantic love.
    Everywhere we turn, even if we seldom notice it,
    someone is making positive references to 'falling in love'.

    The reason for the uniformity of our romantic beliefs and experiences
    is not genetic similarity, control by the gods, or a common 'human nature'
    —but a common cultural tradition dating back to the Middle Ages."

    "We can abandon these cultural delusions and begin to establish
    our relationships based on real information about each other
    and genuine commitment toward each other.
    Loving without illusions lacks the emotional high of romantic love,
    but truth is better than fiction as a basis for on-going relationships.
    Instead of projecting our pre-existing fantasies,
    we can get to know each other as we really are
    —and as the persons we are becoming.

    The wild, extravagant feeling of being head-over-heels in love
    is certainly an enjoyable delusion while that emotional 'high' lasts,
    but should we attempt to build relationships on fantasy feelings?"

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
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    Bereavement and grief is something we will all encounter.

    A Book:

    "The Other Side of Sadness"

    George A. Bonanno (professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University)

    and:

    Healing Through the Dark Emotions: The Wisdom of Grief, Fear, and Despair
    by Miriam Greenspan

  4. #14
    Gold Member Lucia Amman's Avatar
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    Come As You Are
    Emily Nagoski

    I love this book. Very insightful stuff about women sexuality. More self hulp book than i realized but I dig the scientific approach

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
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    Thought I'd put this entertaining article in here rather than up on the forum..

    Infidelity: An American Social and Political Obsession

    From:

    link removed


  7. #16
    Bronze Member Creacion's Avatar
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    Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward

    Passionate Marriage by David Schwartz

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
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    Excerpt:

    "A big part of the problem is that many toxic relationship behaviors are baked right into our culture. We worship the idea of carefree romantic love – you know, where two people ride off into the sunset happily ever after before they even truly know each other. And we are raised to objectify our relationships and guard them like personal property. Thus, our friends and lovers are often treated as assets rather than human beings of free will with whom to share true love and emotional support."

    "Our culture, which is predicated on fantasies of romantic love, often suggests that once you meet “The One,” you will be lifted out of your misery or boredom and elevated into a state of perpetual wholeness and bliss.

    So, it’s easy to believe that it’s your partner’s job to make you feel joyful and whole. But the truth is, while a healthy relationship can certainly bring joy, it’s not your partner’s job to fill in your empty voids. That’s your job and yours alone, and until you accept full responsibility for your emptiness, pain, or boredom, problems will inevitably ensue in the relationship.

    The longing for completion that you feel inside comes from being out of touch with who you are. Nobody else in this world can make you happy. It’s something you have to do on your own. And you have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else."

  9. #18
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    Any books written by Ann Rule. Unfortunately, she died very recently. Her books are "page turners." chi

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
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    There sure is a lot of it around!!

    How Being Different Will Help Filter Out Superficial People
    “Hastiness and superficiality are the psychic diseases of the twentieth century"

    "Who would want to be friends or lovers with the type of shallow people who would judge you simply based on physical attributes anyway? Seriously, your being different becomes a fantastic way to drastically improve the chances that you will spend your time with people who love you for who you are as a person rather than for superficial qualities."

    From:



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  11. #20
    Platinum Member Hermes's Avatar
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    Recently published, this excellent and readable book by Dr. Joseph Burgo

    "The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me Age"

    One comment:

    "The author delves into the different types of extreme narcissists--from bullies to seducers to addicts--providing behavioral tip-offs as well as pragmatic tips on how to cope with them in situations where they can't be avoided"

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