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Thread: M-51/F-25 Currently Happy in Our Own World.

  1. #1

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    M-51/F-25 Currently Happy in Our Own World.

    I've secretly been dating a 51 year old man from my workplace for almost 4 months now. I've never dated a much older man but I'm finding that he's fulfilling every desire I have for a relationship. Unlike most men I've dated, he has a career, not a job, he makes it clear that he will do anything for me, he doesn't play mind games, he's protective but not overbearing or intrusive. He is proud to be with me and wants to show me off as much ad possible. I make him happy and he makes that clear to me. He adores me and wants to spend his free time with me and talks openly and honestly about our future. He knows what he wants in life and is not afraid to go after it. We are also very sexually compatable. I find all these things very attractive and it's been impossible to find a man around my own age with these same qualites. I'm mature for 25 and I feel like we just get along so well. He's never been married because he knew he never found "the one". He does have 2 children 15 and 20 which is ok because I don't want kids of my own so this is not a concern of mine for the future.

    At work our connection is undeniable. Hes not my boss, we work in different departments but we spend alot of time together, have inside jokes and the way we look at each other, I feel like people already know, they just don't acknowledge it in front of us. We do go out in public and I'm not ashamed to be with him I'm just nervous about how people and family will react to our relationship. His son knows about us and is not making a big deal about it. I'm not sure that making our relationship known at work is a good idea, even though we have no rules against dating in the workplace. I think my family will not understand at first but they will come around if they see how happy I am.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member mhowe's Avatar
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    I don't see your parents coming around on this one. And in another 10 years your sex life may not be quite the same...and you will be 35.

    And a general rule of thumb is that a relationship that is hidden hasn't much of a prayer in the light of day.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SpottiOtti's Avatar
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    The only way to see where this relationship will truly go, is to bring it out into the light. I think you know that . . .

  4. #4
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    You already go out in public, his son knows about you, people at work seem to know, so there's really not much secrecy about you two being together.

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  6. #5
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    Things to note: His libido will die down long before you hit menopause. You can't have kids (you said you're ok with this). If you stay together, you are signing up to take care of him in his old age (80's, 90's) when you're still relatively young. You will live a long time alone, if you don't remarry after his passes away.

    I know it's hard to think of these practical things when you're in love...

  7. #6
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    Go for it. Look at Michael Douglas and Catherine Zones or Callista Flockhart and Harrison Ford. Age is just a number.

  8. #7
    Member Forget's Avatar
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    What about you? You talk a lot about him ... (him being proud of you, adoring you, you making HIM happy etc.)
    And you say: " I find all these things very attractive and it's been impossible to find a man around my own age with these same qualites"

    If you are in love with him, happy in your relationship, and if YOU accept the age gap, others will naturally respect your relationship.
    If you are always questionning yourself about your age gap (or other things), people won't respect/accept your relationship.

    Be happy!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Doc Blaze's Avatar
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    i dated a 42 year old when i was 25...it was fun at first but after a while i could see that we were just at 2 different points in our life..i knew after that it was only a matter of time before it ended.

  10. #9
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    You say you are mature for 25, but you are not if you are hiding him from your family.

    If you are happy, age doesn't matter - but keeping a relationship a secret to your family, etc, and sneaking around does not give you a real idea of what the relationship is like. Sure, he'll do anything for you. He is sleeping with a hot 25 year old with a young body who wants him. Stage of life DOES matter - he'll be having grandkids in a few years, might not want another child. What if you want a child now or in a few years? If he never "met the one" how sure are you that he is not set in his ways and won't marry you either. What do you have in common besides sex?

    Another thing to think about - he has TWO kids and never committed to marriage. I can see someone having one child when they were young by accident and being a committed parent, but not marrying the mother, but TWO kids, especially with the same woman - and being in his 30s when they were born - he wasn't a lovestruck or irresponsible kid. If she wasn't "the one" - it should have ended with one kid.

    Anyway, you are going to do what you want to do - but just keep your eyes open on this. Big time.

  11. #10
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    You are old enough to do what you want. What if he just doesn't believe in marriage, and he never really wants to get married? One caution, you haven't found these same qualities in a man your age because you are 25, and you could date some more. Would you be happier if he were 25?

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