From a dumpers perspective, if you the dumpee was not a good partner...venting!

Move on....

My ex ex(ex prior to my recent) keeps contacting me begging for forgiveness and wanting to be back with me. I left him last March. Too long! I should of dropped him like a hot potato before that. We were together for almost a year. He won't stop contacting me. I've told him a number of times that I'm not interested and would never in life be with him. I don't want to be his friend. I've been completely and utterly blunt with him. I don't want to ever hear nor see him in life again. That goes for all of my previous exes with the exception to the last.

He was such a mediocre man to me. When I think about him, it disgusts me. I deserved so much more but I was settling because everyone told me that I was turning 30 so I needed to be married and have children. He had nothing to offer me. He was divorced, had two unruly children, issue with child support, low IQ, selfish and to be honest with you wasn't very attractive.

Examples: I knew that he was having some financial problems with child support but he was extremely cheap as well. I remember asking him just to get me a bottle of perfume for my Xmas. This man purchased me a box with 3 mini sample perfumes. He purchased me a 2 dollar box of chocolates for valentines day. Mind you my birthday was the week before. He had no plans at all for me. Showed up late and purchased me absolutely nothing and took me to a restaurant last minute.

He would never help me complete errands nor offered. I asked him to take me to the supermarket and he stated I would have to give him gas money. Mind you, the supermarket wasn't even a mile away.

We would have sex and he would never pleasure me before. Just get on top of me. Sometimes I would bleed because of the friction. I'm a very attractive girl. I've never felt so undesirable to a man.

Always walked into my apartment empty handed. He constantly wanted me to wake up and make him breakfast and cook for him. I would do that and he wouldn't eat the food. This man wanted everything but offered me nothing.

He was cheating on me.

When I think of all the pain I put myself through to be honest, I feel like it's selfish for a terrible dumpee to expect you to take them back. How could you treat someone so poor and expect them to be back with you?

I'm venting...

Because you put up with him for a year?????

Because you put up with him for a year?????

Trust me I know! Although I wasted my time with him, it has taught me a lot. Never again would I settle for just any man.

I agree 1000% with you and your decision. Was just hazarding a guess as to why he thought he had a chance in hell...

oh believe me I have done it as well ... dear god ..talk about "lesley learns the hard way" hahahahahaahha well I believe it has been useful now as a 48 yr old to have had these experiences ..but you sit there dont you and think "what the hell was up with me" hahahah

My most talked about ex from years ago , held a knife at my pregnant stomach and said he will stab the little c to death while it is still inside me ..I STAYED ...when I was losing that very same baby at 3 months , he dumped me over the phone when I called and said you have to help me I am losing the baby .... then he unplugged his phone ..I STILL STAYED ..

hahahahha arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dear god ..... we have to learn ..it makes us even more fabulous xxx

What I don't understand, is why you haven't blocked him????

It takes a guy like this twice as long as the relationship to realize you are done then leave you alone and move on. Hang in there, you probably have to endure a few more desperate attempts by him. The reason is that he has nearly of year of memories where you caved and accepted his boorish behavior. The words you say now about how you are done and don't want him ring false to him because you allowed him to get away with all kinds of crap in the past.

The fact that he can still contact you will actually work against you. He sees any open door as a sign that you can change your mind. Block him completely, button down any loose ends. You need to have 100% No Contact with him for him to learn to leave you alone.

During this time, reflect on the compromises and red flags you ignored. The pressure from others to be in a couple by 30 doesn't sound like the whole story. This guy was medicore and bottom tier in so many ways. I am surprised he got passed your dating process and the screening that should have taken place. Get your standards back in place. Cheap - deal breaker. Divorced with money problems - deal breaker. Horrible in bed - deal breaker. The fact that you see this all so clearly now doesn't explain how he managed to get as far as he did. It sounds like he never should have gotten past your front door!

Since this was nearly a year ago, was the guy that you were with after him any better? Did you apply any of these lessons or did you get stuck with another frog?

Okay, well you were sleeping with him and not married—so you simply cannot judge this man by a cover. Some people change when you give your soul to them and show that they can trust you; it sounds like you both made some horrible mistakes getting together like this, but you don't know where he's coming from or what he feels so uninspired. Marriage is the merging of spirits for life, however, so—again—you cannot demand that a person offer you all the intimate perks of marriage without giving it. This is why you feel guilty. From the sounds of it, if he cheated on you—you need to leave. As for him buying cheap perfume and chocolates ... You should appreciate the gesture, anyway. A relationship should be the merging of mind, body, and spirit—however—and this whole thing is a mess.

Get your standards back in place. Cheap - deal breaker. Divorced with money problems - deal breaker. Horrible in bed - deal breaker. The fact that you see this all so clearly now doesn't explain how he managed to get as far as he did.

I agree with OP decision to bail and not want him to contact her. But aren't these standards a bit harsh? Everyone is divorced nowadays it seems, and lots of cheap men out there too. But they still find women to date.

I agree with OP decision to bail and not want him to contact her. But aren't these standards a bit harsh? Everyone is divorced nowadays it seems, and lots of cheap men out there too. But they still find women to date.

I think one persons crumbs is another's feast. Standards can be relative.