Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 12 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 111

Thread: I'm Not OK

  1. #1
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    1,379

    I'm Not OK

    My OP about this is here



    Tomorrow is the day. My wife takes the kids and moves 70 miles away. I cannot afford the current apartment and will hopefully be able to stay with my sister who is currently out of town. I can't afford temporary storage, so the wife is pretty much taking everything but my clothes with her. She's [pretty much taking everything but me.

    I will not make it through this. I am barely hanging on now. I don't know how often I will see my kids because of my financial situation.

    I want to die. Everytime I get in my car back and forth between home and work I pray to a God I'm not sure I believe in that He let me wreck and die.

    Yet I still put my seat belt on.

    I'm trying to be strong in front of the kids who have been staying with me while my wife gets things in order for their new wife. None of it seems fair for anyone except possibly her. As the time draws near, they have stopped eating and my son says he can't sleep at night. Somewhat oddly, when I get to sleep, I sleep like a rock. It'x the waking hours when the nightmares come.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,291
    Gender
    Female
    Stay strong for your kids. Sounds like they need you as much as you need them. Just take it hour by hour. Let it happen. Once tomorrow ends, go to bed, try to sleep, and wake up on Sunday knowing that the worst is past. We're here for you.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member kbbcoop77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    2,165
    You will make it. Monday is one year since my ex wife dropped the hammer. It's a long slow and painful process but it is a process. Be a great dad for your kids. It's a sh*tstorm what they put us through but it is survivable. The first 6-8 months were absolute hell but it does get easier.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    1,379
    She just called me and laid into me because I have not done anything at the apartment to get it ready for her to move. She yelled at me and said all bets are off as to how this divorce is going to go. And that she is not going to take any of my stuff with her to her new place as agreed upon. I have no other choice but to leave it there and let the property managers toss it all including my bed and recliner, I don't give a crap about any of that, but my one hope was that maybe she would have a change of heart about us.

    I can't handle this.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,291
    Gender
    Female
    It's pretty inappropriate for her to expect you to help her move belongings out of the house, because she's the one ending this.

    Get yourself an attorney. Sounds like she's preparing for a battle, so you'd better do the same.

    You don't have anyone that can lend you some cash to get a short-term storage unit? Just for a month or so? It would suck to lose your furniture and have to start from scratch.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member guynextdoor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    5280
    Posts
    3,583
    Gender
    Male
    Relevart I feel your pain man as I was once in your shoes. My only advice for you is to not give up. You have to stay strong for yourself and for your kids. Kids have a weird way of sensing something is wrong with us. The stuff that you have are all replaceable. You have your pride as a father, respect yourself, and dignity to keep on fighting through the roughest time of your life. Stay with me on this because you will make through, I did. GL.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    22,716
    Gender
    Female
    Why aren't you sitting down with your wife and settling things rather than just letting her do and take what she wants? From your other thread, your son has Asperger's. How is it good that he be ripped from his school and routine at this point in the school year? Since he has been diagnosed, I assume, I fully assume he has a school aide, or at least his classes and routine at school have been selected with care because of it. You can't just plop him in at another school in the middle of a semester with no meetings with the school counselor to matriculate him in the best way so that he will thrive. Making him the "new kid" if he has been at his school for a few years is not the best idea. Does he have an advocate at school that would testify or recommend or fill out a letter that he needs to stay in his school? I would get a court order barring her from taking him. Heck, you could report him as kidnapped since you didn't agree that she could move the children.

    The level headed way to do this is what is in the best interest of the kids and if that means you both pay for the apartment until the lease is up and if the lease is up next month, you arrange with the landlord to go month to month until the school year is finished. If that means she leaves and pursues a job elsewhere and stays in a hotel or crashes with a friend or eats beans and rice when she is there, that is what it means. And how can she take all the furniture, etc? It is all half yours, right? You need to fight for your kids. She can't just leave you without a pot to cook in. Get an attorney. At least talk to one. You are taking this on your ear. And you will have no home to provide the kids with, so any visitation you have will be you travelling to visit them. So instead of just letting everything happen - put up a fight. if she wants to leave you - she is out the door - but she has no right to take every shred of what you have minus your clothing.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    22,716
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by relevart
    She just called me and laid into me because I have not done anything at the apartment to get it ready for her to move. She yelled at me and said all bets are off as to how this divorce is going to go. And that she is not going to take any of my stuff with her to her new place as agreed upon. I have no other choice but to leave it there and let the property managers toss it all including my bed and recliner, I don't give a crap about any of that, but my one hope was that maybe she would have a change of heart about us.

    I can't handle this.
    I would put it in storage - but why is the landlord going to throw you out tomorrow? Can you pay for the apartment for a few more months, even if that means eating beans and rice and taking on a part time job?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    1,379
    I can't afford the rent. The landlord won't throw anything out tomorrow. I at least have a few days. It's just all coming apart this afternoon and I'm not explaining myself very well. It's done though. There's no goingback.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    22,716
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by relevart
    I can't afford the rent. The landlord won't throw anything out tomorrow. I at least have a few days. It's just all coming apart this afternoon and I'm not explaining myself very well. It's done though. There's no goingback.
    Okay - how can you not pay rent on the 1st? You guys would have had the rent ready to go. If you can't pay rent, then you give notice, tell your landlord that your wife left and you cannot afford it - most landlors use your last month's rent from when you put your deposit down as your last month's rent, you would would have til the end of march. I would talk to your landlord and say the unexpected happen and will he/she give you a month to get things together. She is prettty much a witch for not helping you pay it on short notice, but shame on you also for having no emergency funds - i mean, you have kids, don't you have a few months expenses saved up in case the unthinkable happened??

Page 1 of 12 1234 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •