Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 12 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 111

Thread: I'm Not OK

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    1,379
    Well, I'm here. I just wanted to say that I appreciate all the comments, advice and well wishes in this thread and the other. It's been really helpful. I was dreading Saturday like the plaque. She brought half her family to help her move and that brought some odd relivef. Her mom, whom I have never got along with, came u, hugged me and said she was sorry for everything I was going through. Her brother-in-law shook my hand and said he thought it was a mid-life crisis she was going through. Her brother gave me a bro hug and just kept shaking his head like he didn't know what to say.

    Then my friend called and invited me up to his place for the day because he knew it was going to be rough. So I got a few things taken care of at the apartment and then huddled with my kids for a few minutes and explained what I was doing. There were a few tears, but not the emotional wailing I had expected. And I meant from me. Hung out with my friend for the rest of the day and as I was heading home, I began thinking and, surprisingly, I was hopeful of the future. Wasn't sure how I was going to get through the present, but I felt hope which I thought was a good sign.

    Then my wife called wanting to see how I was doing. It was one of a few times lately she had shown any real concern for me. Then she said they still had more stuff to get at the place the next day. So all the feelings came back as far as dealing with them leaving, etc. etc. Swept like a rock that night, exhausted. Then my wife and son came back to get some more things. I broke down a few times and tried to keep them from seeing me. My son, who is 15, kept asking me what was wrong. I know he meant well, but I was trying to be strong in front of him and not weak in front of her, two different things in my book. She showed almost no emotion at all toward me.

    I have some things stored at work and some in my car. There's still a few things we both need to get from the apartment. I move in with my sister tonight. There is one bright spot. I found a resume that I thought I had lost. My sister's friend works in the field I used to work in and would like to get back into. And she told my sister to make sure I got the resume to her. I'm caught between hoping like hell I can get this job and not wanting to let my hopes get the best of me. It would be more money that I get now -- I'm in what I call a hold me over job after I got laid off -- and would let me get on my feet again a lot sooner.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,291
    Gender
    Female
    I have hopes for you, R. I think you'll be okay. Take it one day at a time - or an hour at a time, if that's easier. Your kids love you, it sounds like you have some sort of support system, and you have people looking out for you. Plus, us!

    Keep us updated, okay?

  3. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    london
    Posts
    11,874
    oh darling , I know you don't want me getting all huggy and kissy , but I am sat blubbering like a baby here ...what a strong . brave , dignified man you are , you dealt with this superbly and I have nothing but respect for you .

    The job front sounds like a breath of fresh air for you right now ..so here's hoping .

  4. #24
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    757
    Gender
    Male
    Good job, R. It is just you and your kids now. Make the best of it.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,291
    Gender
    Female
    How's it going, R?

  7. #26
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    1,379
    Well, Monday evening was kinda a daze. I moved in with my sister. She has two cats and two dogs. I don't like dogs... but one of them really liked me from the get go. She comes over to where I am sitting and puts her chin on my knee and gives me those sad eyes until I pet her head. So I guess I like dogs now. Then Monday night came and one dog barks at almost any sound she hears... which means the other dog has to join in. I didn't get much sleep that night.

    Tuesday was interesting. My sister was at a friend's birthday party and I stayed at her house binge-watching "House Of Cards" for five straight hours. (No spoilers. I'm on Season 1.) When I went to bed, I got my fan out and turned it on... my sister said that at first she didn't think she would be able to sleep with it on. The bedroom doors face one another and I had to put the fan at my door due to lack of outlets. But then she realized the white noise was actually really nice. And the dogs either haven't barked at all since or either I just don't hear it.

    My wife called on Tuesday to tell me she had just left the apartment for the last time and she had found something she thought I might want to go get. So later I went by one last time and realized it was something I did, in fact, want to keep. I started to call her and thank her, but I didn't. Later, when I was talking to the kids, my son said they now had a new oven. Against my better judgement, I asked how they got it and he said, "the Millers gave it to us." (Not their real surname.) She befriended an old friend from middle school a few months ago. Yes, a dude. And sicne then she's tried to sell the idea that she's friends with his parents too, adding that she has a better relationship with Mrs. Miller than she does with her own mom.

    Yeah. Right.

    So that put me in a bit of a depression and I am still in it now. She called yesterday to let me know that our son was finally enrolled in school. (The paperwork between old school and new school was a bit slow.) And I told her I was missing the kids. She tried to tell me she knew how I felt and understood because of all the time she had spent away from the apartment when we were going through our thing. I said it was not the same thing; that was her choice; I don't have a choice now. And we eventually hung up.

    So it's hard. I have to look at my money and see if I can go up this weekend. My sister has hinted that maybe she would like to go up. But that brings up another point.My sister is bad mouthing my wife. Well, really name calling her. I get that she's upset; I obviously am, too. But I don't need my sister to call my wife a b*tch or a wh*re, even if it is just between us. Gripe about the situation or what she's done, but the name calling is not wanted or needed. I had hoped it would die off, but so far it has not.

  8. #27
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    757
    Gender
    Male
    My sister is bad mouthing my wife. Well, really name calling her. I get that she's upset; I obviously am, too. But I don't need my sister to call my wife a b*tch or a wh*re, even if it is just between us. Gripe about the situation or what she's done, but the name calling is not wanted or needed. I had hoped it would die off, but so far it has not.
    She is not going to stop unless you tell her (in a loving way, of course). Boundaries, R. Is she that upset that her brother moved in with her that she feels the need to blame your wife and "vent" about it?

  9. #28
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    29
    Posts
    2,291
    Gender
    Female
    In the future, to save yourself some heartache, don't ask.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    United States
    Age
    37
    Posts
    31,723
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by sky09
    She is not going to stop unless you tell her (in a loving way, of course). Boundaries, R. Is she that upset that her brother moved in with her that she feels the need to blame your wife and "vent" about it?
    I agree. I would be sympathetic to your sister (a little) in that this is directly impacting her life too. Especially if you aren't having to contribute to rent and are staying for an undetermined period.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    1,379
    Talked to my wife for the first time since last Thursday. She wanted to let me know that her "friend" (Miller) may move in to "help with bills." She said she would sleep in our daughter's room. I said so he gets to be the father while I'm 60 miles away. It got testy between us. She said Miller has been coming by a lot and told the kids he wanted to be their friend, not their father. I haven't seen kids in a week and two days.

    Good news is that I'm seeing the kids this weekend.

Page 3 of 12 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •