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Thread: I'm Not OK

  1. #11
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    A lot of people don't have the option of having a nice nest egg in case this happens, abitbroken. Nothing against you, because good for you if you're able to do that - I certainly can't, myself.

    Relevart, sounds like the landlord is giving you at least the weekend to get your things together. Ask someone, a close friend maybe, or your sister, if you can keep some things at their homes until you get your own place. Or ask to borrow $100-$200 to rent a storage unit for a month, to buy yourself some time to figure out something else. Or use this weekend as an opportunity to have a quick yard sale to sell some things you're okay with leaving behind - at least then you won't just be throwing them out.

  2. #12
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    The rent we'd pay to the apartment, she's paying on their new place. Going to be a hell of a weekend.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by relevart
    The rent we'd pay to the apartment, she's paying on their new place. Going to be a hell of a weekend.
    Out of curiosity, are you working as well? I think she's working but may be suspended soon. Are you basically living paycheck to paycheck?

  4. #14
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    relevart I am so sorry .... I think all ideas have been passed your way re your stuff .... its hard to ring round pals and so on when your world is falling apart , you have to summon up the strength to to sort this out .....

    Your children are going to be your backbone right now ..you live for them, breathe for them and keep going for them ... they need their daddy ....even when daddy wants to curl up and die .
    You will get through it darling , you will look back and wonder how the hell you did it ...but you will . We are all kicking around all weekend for when you need a shoulder . Thinking of you and sending you all the love and strength I can and again ...I am very sorry .

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  6. #15
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    So sorry you're going through this, I can't offer any practical advice and others have already suggested the only things I would be able to think of.

    I just wanted to say you will get through this, you need to stay as strong as you can for your kids. There will be times in the future when won't even be able to recall how you got through it, but you will.

    Almost seven years ago I was in pretty much the same situation - nowhere to go, nothing but the clothes on my back but my kids were with me. It was rough, there were days when I didn't know how I had even got through it but keep on battling on because things do fall into place.

    I will always remember one particular night, I had finally got a place to live but had hardly any furniture and whatever I did was. 2nd, 3rd or even 4th hand but it was now mine. I sat in total silence and cried, I had no real material possessions but I finally realised I had peace of mind and was on the road to being ok and it was probably the happiest day I have ever had.

    You are stronger than you think and on the days you don't think you are, sleep on it because every new day it gets a little bit better.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    A lot of people don't have the option of having a nice nest egg in case this happens, abitbroken. Nothing against you, because good for you if you're able to do that - I certainly can't, myself.

    Relevart, sounds like the landlord is giving you at least the weekend to get your things together. Ask someone, a close friend maybe, or your sister, if you can keep some things at their homes until you get your own place. Or ask to borrow $100-$200 to rent a storage unit for a month, to buy yourself some time to figure out something else. Or use this weekend as an opportunity to have a quick yard sale to sell some things you're okay with leaving behind - at least then you won't just be throwing them out.
    I get it, but - It would just seem if they were breaking up with kids, they would have had a step by step plan instead of her just ripping the kids out of school and going. If it was the other way around, and the husband was leaving the kids and wife, surely they would work out a transition so that the other party wouldn't be on the street with such short notice. If her name is on the lease too it doesn't matter if she has a new place - she is equally responsible. I assume he was given short notice since he says that he could live with his sister, but she is out of town so doesn't know if he can - making me think that she just decided within a day or a week to put a deposit on a place and up and leave. Also, if he paid rent faithfully up until this point and just cannot make rent on the first, he should give notice and the landlord will use the last month's rent - when they left the first/last/security deposit - it should be there if that was the arrangement. Hopefully, his lease is up so he is not stuck with the breaking the lease fees - which SHE should be equally on the hook for.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by relevart
    The rent we'd pay to the apartment, she's paying on their new place. Going to be a hell of a weekend.
    What about my question about your son? So its all in the best interest of the child to rip him out of his routine on short notice? You have absolutely zero say in the matter for his well being? You DO have a say of which school he goes to. Unless they are her kids from a previous relationship, she has no right to pull him out of school without your equal consent. Do you even know what his new school will be or if they are aware of his needs and challenges?

  9. #18
    Gold Member Sarah69's Avatar
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    I am sorry. Divorce is tough. Have been there. I also did not have income, did not know language enough, was in a foreign to me country, had no friends or family to lean on, did not have a job and did not know how to drive a car. Also I had very limited rights in order to get an employment due to my impaired visa status. And I had a kid to take care of.

    Life is full of surprises. Believe it. You say that you can not do it. Change this conviction. Everybody can do it. You have no choice. You have to deal with this and you will. Every exit is an entrance. Never forget that. Just go through with what is unfolding. Let your wife to make all the decisions on how she wants to leave you. It is not your concern anymore. Go to the place where you are going to be living for a while and try to find free consultation on your rights in this divorce. try to figure out how to meet ends financially for YOU.

  10. #19
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    R, you will have to stand up and fight. Do not let her push you around. Be assertive, please.

  11. #20
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    just looking in on you to see how you are and how the weekend went ..

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