"the talk" a shy guy and moving.

I hit a trifecta, huh?

Facts:

I am on a temporary, what was to be 2 year assignment in a city 500 miles from my employment hq.

I am looking for my one true guy, but am open to FWB in the meantime. (I am a girl, mid 30's, divorced). I am a bit naive in relationships, especially FWB.

Family and relationships mean more to me than work, so I would be/have been willing to quit for the right person. And find employment in the city (not quit and mooch.)

5 months ago I meet a guy and more or less explain the situation. It is also in my profile on the dating site we met. We hit it off and have since gone camping for weekends and a vacation week, spend overnights, text multiple times a day, have dinner 3-4 X a week. He took me to a medical procedure. He quoted me Shakespeare at sunset in a sand dune. We kissed and held hands under the stars. We spent Christmas Day together and he hid dinosaur toys all over my house. We never had a talk about what we were, but I was assuming we were getting closer. He made a joke about it being casual once, and then looked me in the eye and said "you know its not like that, right?" I did "fall" for him but am not in the deep end yet....I need/ed clarification.

So my job decided to transfer me really early...Like in a month and not another year kind of early, but details are sketchy and come out one at a time. I have a lease on a house (alone) and that needs to be worked out.

I tell the guy as details come out and also start talking about possibly staying in a "I need to get my resume going" kind of way.

At one point I text him what he thinks of this, and he texts back "I will help you pack, but won't be happy about it"

So I finally sit him down and talk to him. I knew he would be freaked because he is a never talk about it kind of guy. I asked him what he thought I should do and he said move with the job. I told him I felt there was something to stay for and he said he thought I should do what would make me happy. I told him I thought that was staying, but needed to know if he felt there was a possibility of a relationship to which he replied "I'm a short term guy."

We had dinner the next night and texted the following day. But now I haven't heard from him in 4 days.

I am pretty sure from this experience that we are not meant to work out. I am disappointed-I was falling for the guy, but I am not crying my eyes out over a bowl of ice cream watching When Harry met Sally either because I did know that we had never clarified things.

Do I contact him for one last talk? Where did I go wrong, other than not having "the talk" a bit earlier? Can I ask him what happened? What do you think happened?

I am torn between believing he felt it was a relationship with an expiration date from the start and thinking that he is butt hurt about the move but doesn't want to be responsible for the "reason" I quit my job.

He is not interested in a long term relationship. Very clear.

You cannot assume these things as you did. The talk needs to happen, especially if your profile says you are ok with a FWB situation.

His profile said seeking LTR.

I am very open to communication, but he is rather shut down.

"I will help you pack" and "I am a short term guy" is his current feeling with regard to your situation.

I think he liked that the relationship had a built in expiration date.

I think your first mistake was having on your profile "open to fwb". By doing so you will attract a lot more guys whose intentions are unclear (ie do they want fwb or LTR with you). Just being his profile said LTR doesn't mean he wants it with you or ever had the intention to get serious. He could have been doing the same thing and assumed you're ok with fwb without clarification since your profile said so.

You need to clarify things very early next time.

Yea I agree with mhowe. He is telling you he is a short term guy. Why would you think he would want anything else but that? I am learning to listen to what they say. When he said he will help you pack and Im a short term guy, believe him. Its over. 4 days of N/C is giving you a clue that he is done.

If you reach out to him and ask him what happened, you will probably not hear what you want to hear. Been there done that.

Move with the job and if you are interested in a FWB, then don't expect more from the men that want to date you. If you want a LTR, then you need to say that on your profile.

I appreciate your guys' input.

Honestly, I wouldn't have been questioning the situation (or falling for him) if he hadn't been doing things like quoting Shakespeare and stargazing with me. I am usually very good at separating sex and relationships and have had some FWB that were closer to NSA prior. I guess I'm learning FWB comes as a continuum.