How reliable is charting at preventing pregnancy?

Hello,

I'm 25 and my girlfriend is 26 and we've been dating for over a year. Our relationship is great but we haven't been without our difficulties - mainly the abortion we went through a month ago. She wasn't using birth control and I would just pull out (clearly that was stupid so please don't lecture me). It was her decision but I supported it as I feel there's absolutely no way I could afford a child, nor am I mentally prepared for fatherhood. Anyways, we are just starting to have sex again and we're considering birth control options. Here's the thing, my girlfriend is a health freak and is against the pill, ring, IUD and basically anything that could affect her hormone levels. She has mild acne and fears that hormones will disrupt her system and she just wants to be natural and healthy (can't fault her).

When we talked to the doctor who performed the abortion, she said condoms aren't reliable as a primary method of birth control, and we've even been offered a *free* IUD, but my girlfriend is against it. Instead, she's said that she's going to start charting and there's male/female condoms. This makes me wary, because it means I'll have to 100% rely on her ability to accurately monitor her fluids. If she's wrong and we get pregnant, I'll probably be upset that she was 1) wrong and 2) wouldn't use a more reliable form of BC. Plus the thought of using female condoms totally makes me not want to have sex... throw intimacy out the window.

All my friends and their girlfriends use hormonal contraception, and I feel they have worry-free sex lives, and I'm stuck here wearing condoms all the time and depeding on my girlfriend's charting abilities.

My main concern is that she'll get pregnant again and that she won't want another abortion and I'll be a father. I don't fully trust condoms, and I really don't trust charting since I have no way of ensuring she's doing it properly. Can you offer advice as to the effectiveness of charting, or any ideas as to how I can enjoy my sex life without worrying so much? I just want intimate sex with her and not to wear condoms all the time. A free IUD seemed like the best option, but it's her body and her choice so I'm stuck going along with it.

Thank you

It isn't called Roman Roulette for nothing. It is not accurate enough to insure no pregnancy.

You are stuck wear condoms or not having sex.

If you're not wanting to become a father , nope, I wouldn't count on it.

Charting is ridiculous and really ovulation timing can change all the time. I dont trust them at all.

There are tons of BC products out there that does not effect hormones as much as she thinks and the IUD comes in two different forms (one with hormones, one with out). She should do more research before she says no to everything. I have many friends who are crazy health freaks who still have an IUD because they dont want to risk a pregnancy.

she is putting herself and you in extreme high risk of an another pregnancy by not going on some type of birth control. The only true form on birth control is not having sex.

No it's not reliable.

Some cycles I ovulate mid cycle others late cycle. Some things can trigger early or late ovulation.

You need to get a reliable form of birth control or stop having sex. It isn't fair to keep getting her pregnant and having abortions. Surely that is worse on her body as a health freak than contraception?

what about the copper coil? that is non hormonal

H'ow it prevents pregnancy

The IUD is similar to the IUS (intrauterine system) but works in a different way. Instead of releasing the hormone progestogen like the IUS, the IUD releases copper. Copper changes the make-up of the fluids in the womb and fallopian tubes, stopping sperm surviving there. IUDs may also stop fertilised eggs from implanting in the womb'

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Thank you, and I agree with all of you. I'm actually getting pretty frustrated with her because it seems she just wants to be this healthy, holistic, all-natural little perfect being where in reality she's setting us both up for pregnancy risk again, or at the very least, sex with a condom all the time. It really bugs me how she won't even TRY the IUD for a little while. It's free, and can be removed at any time. She says it's her body and her health, and she's gone through a lot lately but I'm thinking... what if you get pregnant again? An IUD would probably seem like a no-brainer then!!

I'm so frustrated with things right now and don't know how to approach her without upsetting her greatly. We're going to end up fighting about this because I don't trust charting at all, whereas she thinks charting will help her avoid acne issues and anything else. I'm so lost..

There are hormone free birth controls.

What's wrong with female condoms? Have you ever tried them?

Hormone free birth controls, such as what ... copper IUD? She's looked into it and doesn't like the health consequences, saying copper isn't good to have inside your body or something. I'm open to any suggestions for alternatives!

As for the female condom, it's essentially a rubber dam that sits inside her vagina from my understanding. So I'm basically having sex with a rubber dam and losing all intimacy, I may as well wear a condom myself. In this day and age of contraception, I feel that there's no reason we can't have condom-less sex...

A woman's body is subject to change depending on stress levels, lack of sleep, or overall health. They are not accurate.

I am one of those people who cannot take birth control pills because of severe medical reactions. I also cannot get an IUD without having a baby prior (I went to 3 different GYNs, they all denied me because of risk of pelvic inflammatory that could cause infertility).

My husband and I have been using condoms for 9 years before our marriage and never had an accident. You have to know how to use them, store them in a proper place, and check the expiration date and you will be fine.

Sorry, there aren't other options besides condoms if she doesn't want the pill/shot/IUD. As for the rhythm method... why do you think Catholics -- a group that STRONGLY disproves any form of BC --

They make IUDs without hormones.

Don't think this will solve all problems, though. I've had one in since November and I'm still bleeding. First couple months are rough.

Regardless, you're going to have to sit her down and carefully explain that even though it's her body and ultimately her choice, you're in her life and you're in an intimate relationship, so you do have opinions too and yours are saying that you don't trust charting.

All birth control methods have health risks. So she's not going to find anything that's 100% without risk. Yes, I was referring to Paragard IUD. There are things like...cervical caps/diaphragms with spermicide. Their effectiveness rates are significantly lower than hormonal BC pills or an IUD, even when used correctly. I don't even know of people who use those these days, but they're out there.

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Notice the rhythm method... it has a higher chance than the pull-out method, which is what you were using.

Usually people chart to GET pregnant not the other way around.

Getting an IUD is no small matter. Neither is taking hormonal birth control.

I think you should go with condoms.

Both of my children were conceived at times in my wife's cycle that they were least likely to be. If a penis enters a vagina, there is a possibility of pregnancy on just about any day, at any time. Use proven protection.

Is the rhythm method the same thing as charting? Thanks everyone, I'm taking everything into account

Probably an unpopular opinion but I think the answer here is not to have sex until you're ready to have a child together. I don't think condoms alone are enough if you are 100% sure you don't want a child. I would not say this in all situations but I am saying it in yours given her reaction to birth control and her desire to chart even though she recently had an abortion.

Is the rhythm method the same thing as charting? Thanks everyone, I'm taking everything into account

Yes--- it is "charting the rhythm" of a womans ovulation cycle.

And really not a "method" of bc ----- hence the nickname "Roman (catholic) Roulette".

Actually, doctors prescribe BC pills to HELP acne, not make it worse. There are all kinds of modern and very low dose forms these days that work very well with few side effects.

You have a deeper problem, because if you are with a girl who is going to limit the methods to charting and/or condoms, that means you are going to be doing that for the rest of your life if you stay with her, unless you are willing to get a vasectomy. And you most likely will have lots of children/pregnancies if she is trusting charting. You have a 25% chance of pregnancy every year with that (1 out of 4 couples using that method experience pregnancy on a given year), which means odds are very good you will have at least one surprise pregnancy every 4 years (or sooner depending on odds or how diligent she is with the charting, and how reliable her body is in terms of hormones). Some women have erratic hormones and body temperatures where charting becomes basically useless.

So if you are going to stay with her, if you don't want a pregnancy, you are going to be forced into condom use until you decide to get a vasectomy. And don't trust the charting in terms of her saying it is a 'safe' time to not use one, because if you really want to prevent pregnancy, there is no safe time not to use one because sperm can live up to 7 days, and a woman's cycles are not always predictable in terms of when she ovulates.

So you are going to have to decide how important it is to stay with this particular woman vs. a woman who is more flexible in terms of her methods (and more realistic). You've already had one abortion after only one year, so you are at high risk if you continue down this path.

Consider this:

You both maybe clean, but you still should be using protection. HPV is highly contractible STD that you can get it without having sex. If she gets HPV she can become permanently infertile. The affects of HPV are devastating for women. Even if condoms do not fully protect you from HPV, it's better than nothing.

Also if you are not ready for parenthood, you should be fully protected. Already your girlfriend is subject to some link removed since she has had her abortion. It is never a safe and easy procedure, and she should have known that when she went to the clinic. The least you can do is to prevent it from happening again or you can jeopardize her health if she decides to have another abortion.

I used the charting method...and I now have a two year old boy from doing so. Hahah. Yeah, it's not fool-proof. The reason why condoms fail is because plainly, a person is using them wrong.

Using a condom correctly doesn't only mean putting it on right side out. You should also:

- Check the expiration date (condoms can dry and crack if they're old).

- Choose condoms made of latex, which is thought to be most effective in preventing STDs. If one of you has an allergy to latex, use polyurethane condoms instead.

- Keep condoms away from heat and light, which can make them more likely to break.

- Only use water-based lubricants with condoms. Shortening, lotion, petroleum jelly, or baby oil can break down the condom.

- Open the condom packet with your hands, not your teeth, and open it carefully so you don't tear the condom.

- Choose a condom with a reservoir tip to catch semen after ejaculation. Lightly pinch the top of the condom and place it at the top of your (or your partner's) penis. This gets rid of trapped air, which can cause a condom to burst.

- Roll the condom down until it's completely rolled out — if it's inside out, throw it away and start over.

- When you're done, you (or your partner) should withdraw while holding the condom at the base of the penis to prevent the condom from slipping off.

It's not accurate at all. A former boss had this weird thing against birth control and kept claiming it was great--while she had three unplanned pregnancies. Her husband finally went and got a vasectomy.

The problem with the rhythm and blues method is it doesn't take into account things like the myriad of outside influences that can and do change a woman's ovulation cycles OR the fact that a man's sperm can live inside of a woman for a really long time OR the fact that you can miscalculate or get busy and forget or really want to do it and decide to take a chance just this one time or you and your guy full around and sperm gets close enough to go ahead and do it's job anyways or or or. While it's true that no birth control method outside of abstinence has a 100 percent success rate the fact is the chart method is on the bottom of the poll when it comes to reliability.

Remember, life is a very very very strong force of nature. You are going to have to do more than just chart if you want to keep unwanted or unplanned pregnancies to a minimum or less. And whatever birth control method you use make sure you know everything about it and never, ever take verbal reassurances or "but I always did this and my girlfriend never got pregnant" type conversations from fools.

If I was a guy, I would use a condom every.single.time until I was married and would be OK with an accidental pregnancy. I mean, I know condoms are not ideal, but damn, I just cannot imagine not having an active role in deciding whether or not a baby was going to be conceived!

The numbers in this thread are if those methods are used typically and not perfectly. Out of 100 couples, 24% (24) will get pregnant using the rhythm method. Out of those 24, 18% will get pregnant if they are using condoms as well. That's 4.5 couples, or a 4.5% chance of pregnancy if you use the rhythm method and condoms. That's a better chance of avoiding pregnancy than if she were on the Pill alone (9%).

If you add spermicide to that, your chance of getting pregnant goes does to 1.2%.

So yes, condoms and the rhythm method TOGETHER are reliable birth control. Add spermicide to be super safe.

The numbers in this thread are if those methods are used typically and not perfectly. Out of 100 couples, 24% (24) will get pregnant using the rhythm method. Out of those 24, 18% will get pregnant if they are using condoms as well. That's 4.5 couples, or a 4.5% chance of pregnancy if you use the rhythm method and condoms. That's a better chance of avoiding pregnancy than if she were on the Pill alone (9%).

 

If you add spermicide to that, your chance of getting pregnant goes does to 1.2%.

 

So yes, condoms and the rhythm method TOGETHER are reliable birth control. Add spermicide to be super safe.

I completely disagree unless the ovulation cycle is very regular and even then I wouldn't take that risk. When I wanted to prevent pregnancy I used condoms with spermicide and the pill. Nothing less.