Another online daing journal

Love the new avatar . Such a sweet pic.

I brought up the subject last night when I saw him in person. I only asked him what he decided to do. He smirked and pretty much shut down the conversation stating he didn't want to talk about it out of respect for me and our time together. Fair enough and I am not one for drama.

Out of respect for you, he decided not to answer your question? Hmmm.

Well, I do understand that he might feel uncomfortable talking about it at this early stage. But it would be nice if he could loop you into his inner workings.

Out of respect for you, he decided not to answer your question? Hmmm.

 

Well, I do understand that he might feel uncomfortable talking about it at this early stage. But it would be nice if he could loop you into his inner workings.

Agreed.

But I want say in that moment he wasn't exactly sure what his next move was.

I had some time to think about it. I created one of those `damned it you do/damned if you don't' situations for him by not choosing my words better. When he asked me what part of all of it bothered me, I was trying to be thoughtful and my honest answer was his intense reaction to everything that was going on. With that he shut the door.

I can see he might have been embarrassed and just assumed it would be better to keep it to himself.

I didn't exactly create a safe place for him to talk about it.

My job has become redundant. With the changes in this industry, our new CEO and technology, there is increasingly less and less to do.

A lot of what my staff does has become automated. I am constantly being grinded by my manager(s) that my staff is not busy. Most of this year has been spent soliciting to other departments for extra work so my staff can support them during their down times. I have delegated a lot of my personal responsibilities to them to keep them busy. Unfortunately for them, they are on the floor and visible. I on the other hand can hide in my office. I have pretty much boxed myself out of a job. In some ways my position is vital. But I am not much more than the paid babysitter at this very moment.

More that half of my job used to consist of capital projects, which meant constant updates and construction projects between 5 locations. New furniture, annual maintenance, etc. Because the shift in the industry the powers-that-be, they have squashed capital projects for the second year in a row! We are now going into our slow summer season. The thought of it getting any more boring makes me want to run down the street screaming.

So, here I sit.

I drive 90 mins each way to get here.

It's boring, I watch the clock and every once in while I need to check on the millennials to make sure they aren't running amuck.

I've always been high energy. I can stand longer than I can sit. I need to be challenged and need a purpose.

So why not quit?? Because I am in my late 50's and they pay me a ridiculous amount of money to be here. Granted, my quality of life is always more valuable then the money, but starting my career at 40 puts me behind as far as retirement is concerned. I don't want to work forever. That and collectively between my vacation, sick time and holidays, I get close to 2 months off in a year. What I don't use rolls over to the next year. The thought of starting over somewhere else with 2 weeks off in one calendar year stops me cold in my tracks

Just venting. . I just need to suck it up.

I often wonder when they'll catch onto me. With that said the cycle will start again, but not for another year. The leases for all our spaces start to come to term the end of next year and that's when capital items are typically addressed. IF they address them. But prior to this I would routinely have 2 or 3 projects a quarter irregardless of the timing of the leases. Now. . nuthin'

Hmmm. . what's for lunch?

Agreed.

But I want say in that moment he wasn't exactly sure what his next move was.

 

I had some time to think about it. I created one of those `damned it you do/damned if you don't' situations for him by not choosing my words better. When he asked me what part of all of it bothered me, I was trying to be thoughtful and my honest answer was his intense reaction to everything that was going on. With that he shut the door.

 

I can see he might have been embarrassed and just assumed it would be better to keep it to himself.

I didn't exactly create a safe place for him to talk about it.

Bolded, not judging, but would not the more honest answer have been that he was choosing to shut you out instead of opening up and sharing something that was obviously troubling him? Allowing you more into his "world" and increasing the intimacy between you? Saying something like that may have created a safer place for him to want to open up and talk about it.

It lets him know how much you care and your desire to be more a part of his "world" -- his "inner workings" as Jibralta said, without judgment.

Instead of commenting about his "intense reaction" which he may have viewed as a criticism.

I will have to go back but I thought you said when all this went down, you felt closed off from him, which was clearly bothering you (as well it should have been).

This is not early stages, you're almost a year into this.

Hi Reinvent, I don't think his reaction to ex-wife is simply about $400. I suspect he sees that $400 as another kick in the guts from her, and a reminder of what that woman was about. I was ill say it's brought up ceilings for him. Of having been used and betrayed.

Love the photo of you and your Dad. Somewhere I have a photo of me with my Dad when I was about 2 years old. We were at the local swimming pool and I was jumping into his arms!

Regarding work, it was tough for me getting work aged in my late 50s. Fingers crossed. I'm now in my favourite job ever. Initially, I was on a casual contract. The manager has approached me asking if I would like to sign a permanent contract with them. They have been giving me more work. I have recently had another 2 organisations offer me contracts as well. Have a lot of paperwork to complete right now. I'm sure my work isn't as highly paid as yours. When I worked in Melbourne, I was a senior worker and had undertaken team leader roles in that organisation. I will admit that I am MUCH happier out of the team leadership, and don't ever want to go back to it. I was getting more money, but it was so boring, and frustrating for couple of reasons. Some of the crap which can go on between staff, and having to deal so much with organisational politics. I'm do much happier doing hands-on work

That and collectively between my vacation, sick time and holidays, I get close to 2 months off in a year. What I don't use rolls over to the next year.

Be careful in case they do catch on to you (lol)... A couple people at my old job got screwed out of accumulated PTO when the company downsized and laid them off.

Be careful in case they do catch on to you (lol)... A couple people at my old job got screwed out of accumulated PTO when the company downsized and laid them off.

I earned it. They'd have to buy me out if they laid me off.

I created one of those `damned it you do/damned if you don't' situations for him by not choosing my words better.

Oh shoot I just read this again and realize you had already acknowledged you could have worded it better, my bad, I read it incorrectly the first time. :(

I've often done the same, more times than I care to remember actually; it's always after the fact I realize I could have said or done something differently and better.

Re your job, look on the bright side. Two months off every year, great money and literally no stress from all the work you don't have to do!

Could be worse, Seraphim created a thread today under the careers section, you should read what she and I go through, ugh!

I hear ya about being bored though.

I earned it. They'd have to buy me out if they laid me off.

Well, that's what everyone thought was going to happen in my company. But a year after our merger, they changed the policy. People who were laid off before a certain date were compensated for their PTO, and people who were laid off after that date were screwed. All very long term employees, 15+ years. True story, really.

I'm pretty jaded now, after working for that company. They sucked.

Might not be an issue for you at all.

SL is painting my bathrooms. Poor guy. He's offered for weeks and I finally gave in. Two full days each.

The contractor had skim coated the walls and they needed to be sanded and primed before painting. He tells me yesterday "K didn't do you any favors' K being the contractor and remarking on the skim job that takes an entire day each to smooth out and correct.

I still haven't had the shower pan repaired. A few failed attempts at getting a quote. No doubt cleaning up someone else's mess and considering it's the most challenging part of a bathroom remodel, I can't find someone who wants to risk the liability of an upstairs (potential leaky) shower.. . seeing - they'd be the last one to put their name on it.

The contractor finally saw his review about 10 days ago.

My phone lit up with phone calls and texts. "I can't believe you gave me a bad review!"

And. . "I told you you could hire someone else to finish it, but you still owe me $2900." (uhhhhm. . . no)

I didn't respond. In the meantime I will continue to look for someone who will take this on. I totally underestimated this ;/

It was an emotional day yesterday. A fireman shot and killed. Another injured. My son having worked with both and the later being his EMT partner only a couple years ago. We lost a family member years ago in the line of duty, leaving behind a young mother and a 6 mo old baby. It hits really close to home. Too close when my son calls upset at 7 in the morning during my morning commute. I've been around it my entire adult life and in light of everything, it hasn't concerned me. But having your first born putting himself in harms way for a living is an entirely different ball game. I cried all the way to work.

. . .It doesn't always happen to someone else.

The investigation ongoing. But it appears the firefighters were set up and ambushed. With all the copy cat scenarios going on, school shootings, suicides, is this the next wave? I didn't sleep well last night.

Having dinner with him tonight. He's visiting old friends at the moment from this particular FD affected. And he turns 32 tomorrow. *Sigh

Ugh. . I'm emotional today.

That is awful. So scary. I hope your family stays safe.

I'm glad you gave the guy a sh*tty review, by the way. He deserved it. You do bad work, you get a bad rap. Fair is fair. He's been skating by long enough. You never would have hired him if you thought this was what he would leave you with. You're helping other people that way.

I'm sorry too reinvent. :(

And the firefighters, that's so sad, and with your son being one, I can understand feeling emotional and your tears.

I hope you can get some sleep tonight, and despite everything that's happened, sending warm wishes to your son on his 32nd.

(((hugs))

 

It's boring, I watch the clock and every once in while I need to check on the millennials to make sure they aren't running amuck.

 

I've always been high energy. I can stand longer than I can sit. I need to be challenged and need a purpose.

So why not quit?? Because I am in my late 50's and they pay me a ridiculous amount of money to be here. Granted, my quality of life is always more valuable then the money, but starting my career at 40 puts me behind as far as retirement is concerned. I don't want to work forever. That and collectively between my vacation, sick time and holidays, I get close to 2 months off in a year. What I don't use rolls over to the next year. The thought of starting over somewhere else with 2 weeks off in one calendar year stops me cold in my tracks

 

Just venting. . I just need to suck it up.

I often wonder when they'll catch onto me. With that said the cycle will start again, but not for another year. The leases for all our spaces start to come to term the end of next year and that's when capital items are typically addressed. IF they address them. But prior to this I would routinely have 2 or 3 projects a quarter irregardless of the timing of the leases. Now. . nuthin'

 

Hmmm. . what's for lunch?

You're not alone. I'm stuck in a job with little to no hope for retirement.

I ended my military career early. My ex-wife had the potential to make more money, and the Air Force wanted to post us to a semi-isolated location. That would mean my ambitious ex-wife would have to give up a good job/career. So we decided I would retire early. I have a small pension, which gets eaten up by child support.

Then at 45 I found my single and having to start over. I took some IT training after leaving the military. I was lucky and have been employable. I had some mutual funds. I had to cash most of them to survive. I'm 56 and can't see a path to retirement. I'm stuck where I am also. I'm not redundant, but for other reasons, this job doesn't fit well. It's also never stable. We've almost been closed down a few times. We are fairly stable now. But things happen quickly, and there's never a guarantee.

I need to be challenged and need a purpose.

Yup. I am challenged, but not in a positive way. It's often overwhelming without results. I try to find purpose outside of work. I also look for challenges outside of work. But I can't shake the depressive idea though of not retiring. And I don't want to be here anymore. But to maintain my quality of life I need to be here.

Hope that doesn't bring you down more :) Just trying to empathise :) I think there's a lot of us in this situation.

T

 

I'm glad you gave the guy a sh*tty review, by the way. He deserved it. You do bad work, you get a bad rap. Fair is fair. He's been skating by long enough. You never would have hired him if you thought this was what he would leave you with. You're helping other people that way.

I checked the website where I left the review.

The job he had immediately after mine just updated it with a glowing review on how fabulous he was.

On one hand it makes me second guess myself and then I have the proof otherwise.

I am torn!

I had a really nice dinner with my son last night. Today is his official birthday.

SL is leaving to go out of town for a couple days and I have agreed to see him tonight for only a couple hours. He has to get up at 3am.

My sons father just text me and asked if I could join him and my two boys for dinner to celebrate the birthday.

If I didn't have plans with SL I would go. So I declined.

I spend alot of time with SL. I know he'd fine if I change plans on him. He's easy going this way.

But I did spend time with my son last night and add in the factor that my ex husband has had some ulterior motives lately.

He's currently single and has been calling alot. He's pretty predictable this way.

SL is aware of this and I would have to tell him about everyone present for the dinner, including the ex.

I don't see my sons as much as I'd like too and being with both of them would be really special, even in light of their dad being present.

I guess I already have my answer. . It makes me sad though.

I'd like to see my sons ;( and I'd take any opportunity to be with them.

I checked the website where I left the review.

The job he had immediately after mine just updated it with a glowing review on how fabulous he was.

On one hand it makes me second guess myself and then I have the proof otherwise.

It’s unreal the number of people who just go with whatever the contractor tells them. My mom was just telling me yesterday that her friend just had her cabinets rebuilt and now has to wait 2 weeks for the quartz guy to come MEASURE the cabinets so that he can fabricate the countertop. They have no counterin their kitchen for two weeks, and they think that is normal.

My mom is no better. This same friend gave glowing reviews about a handyman in her neighborhood. He installed a new vanity and sinks for my mom. The drawers were self closing and after a month they stopped closing altogether. But my mom raves about him.

When we were kids, My mom had some guy rebuild our fence and the new fence looked NOTHING like the old fence. To make matters worse, he pieced together the newell posts out of pieces of I don’t know what. The pieces were attached crookedly! It looked horrible. Really, it was like a joke. But she just overlooked that and paid him anyway.

I don’t know what it is with people. I honestly think some people just need to jump on the bandwagon. Even you questioned your review after you saw another post. It’s natural to not want to go against the grain. However, some people won’t settle. You will be helping those people.

I checked the website where I left the review.

The job he had immediately after mine just updated it with a glowing review on how fabulous he was.

On one hand it makes me second guess myself and then I have the proof otherwise.

Please don't second guess yourself reinvent; he may have had a friend or family member write that review for him, or others who do that sort of thing, for a fee. This does happen.

I mean, it's just too coincidental that immediately after your bad review (which I agree with given how you described), he gets a "fabulous" write up.

Not buying it!

Please don't second guess yourself reinvent; he may have had a friend or family member write that review for him, or others who do that sort of thing, for a fee. This does happen.

 

I mean, it's just too coincidental that immediately after your bad review (which I agree with given how you described), he gets a "fabulous" write up.

 

Not buying it!

3 bdrm, 3 bath vacant home, just out of escrow.

Go figure. He got credit for painting the entire interior, whereas he told me he 'doesn't paint'

I've officially given him more headspace than he deserves

Please don't second guess yourself reinvent; he may have had a friend or family member write that review for him, or others who do that sort of thing, for a fee. This does happen.

 

I mean, it's just too coincidental that immediately after your bad review (which I agree with given how you described), he gets a "fabulous" write up.

 

Not buying it!

That is exactly what I thought as well. And - even if it's accurate I also agree not to second guess yourself.

My dating journal has turned into my home improvement journal ;)

All 1400 sq ft of popcorn ceilings scraped, textured and painted. The kitchen cabinets, all walls, railings, bedrooms and bathrooms done.

My house looked like a bomb went off in it. All the furniture piled in the middle of the rooms. Both patios full of boxes, ladders and tools. Add in a good amount dust, dirt, spackle, you name it.

I am reminded over and over why I put this off for so long. It's pretty grueling.

In the midst of everything and while my cat and I are staying at SL's, I get sick. I tried midweek to put some things back they way they were and clean, but hurt my back. .and got sicker. I had to sleep in the midst of my mess until I finally got the strength to put everything back together, only to have the painters return again on Saturday to finish touch ups and mess things up again. Should I add that the temps got into the 100's at the end of the week?

I pretty much missed 4th of July, though I did get out of the house for a few hours only to be back in bed before the fireworks.

I wake up this morning and refrigerator is warm. The freezer works, lights on but somethings broken.

I just can't seem to catch a break! Aaaargh!

SL and I leave Wed 4am to spend the rest of the week at a lake that's 5hrs north of us. I had most of last week off and only working two days this week, so I am hard pressed to take the time off to wait around for a repairman. I am pretty much planning on scheduling one for late tomorrow afternoon, so I will leave work early and it will give me time to pack.

Last Fri was SL's birthday and his family is in town. 18 people for dinner (at his house), girls game night Sat (I didn't go) and a fund raiser last night for a dear friend battling cancer. 200 people turned out.

It's an understatement that I over commit myself at times. SL had a softball tournament all weekend so he didn't attend the fund raiser with me. I visited with friends I hadn't seen in while and found myself telling them that having dated SL for close to year now, I still can't seem to find anything wrong with him :)

That's quite amazing - about not finding anything wrong with him? Where did you find him???

I wake up this morning and refrigerator is warm. The freezer works, lights on but somethings broken.

I just can't seem to catch a break! Aaaargh!

Something like this happened to my boyfriend and I. Turned out to be a very simple fix -- it was stuck on some setting. The fridge guy came in, popped the cover off of the thingy at the top of the fridge, and reset it. It took a grand total of two minutes and I don't think he needed any parts or anything. I think it worked so well for us because we rent, and our landlord owns at least two buildings and probably 40+ refrigerators. The fridge guy wants to get the big jobs when they come around, so he's not going to nickle and dime our landlord on a fridge.

Might be worth googling before calling in the pros.

I did google it and what came up over and over is that when the door is left open and it's overworked trying to cool, the condensation from the freezer (that works) freezes the damper close. It recommended turning it off and defrosting it for several hours and then turning it back on.

I emptied everything last night, left it off and doors open all night only to turn it on this morning and get the same result ;(

As of tomorrow, I am out of town for the rest of the week. . .so I'll deal with it when I get home.

I will see if there is some switch in the back. But it means I have to take the cover off.

Oh, boo. Maybe it will fix itself while you are gone