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Thread: Another online daing journal

  1. #2251
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I am meeting with a financial planner tomorrow. I have a (virtual) one through my work 401K plan. I inherited my mom's adviser while wrapping up her estate. He isn't a good fit for me because the conversations are very one sided and he loves the sound of his voice. I hang up each time more confused.

    I have all a total of 5 accounts scattered about and no one will give me sound advise on what to do going forward. They all benefit from my accounts, mind you. I am hoping to fire everyone and start over with someone who is looking out for my personal best interest.

    The proceeds from the sale of my moms house just happens to equal what the current balance of my home loan. One says pay it off, the other says doesn't. I am lost.

    My carpool partner retired almost 2 years ago. This is the second season, back to school, after summer, where traffic is at it's all time high. My days just bumped from 11 hours to almost 12 hours a day. I just can't do it anymore. My wish is to quit and get a part time job close to home that would just basically fund my health care until I am of age to collect Medicare. It's a big leap of faith, but every day I can't think of a reason to stay here.

    I just had some senior attorney b*tch at me about the scheduled carpet cleaning. It's in 2 weeks but he was grinding me about what would happen IF `he ate curry for lunch and threw up, would I make them wait until the 27th to clean it then!!???" Sigh. . I used to have a playful banter to offset nonsensical comments like this. But my tolerance is gone and I told him to call me if it ever happens. But until then, the carpet will be cleaned on the 27th.

    Just a snapshot of my day. .all day, every day. I am the complaint department, even when there isn't anything to complain about. I'm in my 17th year here and I think it's just about run it's course.

    Ahhh. . .breath. I leave Saturday for our annual week long girls trip to another state, 9 hours away. Going home to pack tonight AFTER my 2 hour drive home. 90 minutes if I'm lucky.

  2. #2252
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    Sorry things are so stressful! I guess no other potential car pool partners- maybe even who work for another company like through Nextdoor?
    Curry -sigh.....

  3. #2253
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    I completely understand the nonsensical stuff from attorneys. I work with them, too!

  4. #2254
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    When I read your post last night, I was like holy sht!

    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    I am meeting with a financial planner tomorrow. I have a (virtual) one through my work 401K plan. I inherited my mom's adviser while wrapping up her estate. He isn't a good fit for me because the conversations are very one sided and he loves the sound of his voice. I hang up each time more confused.

    I have all a total of 5 accounts scattered about and no one will give me sound advise on what to do going forward. They all benefit from my accounts, mind you. I am hoping to fire everyone and start over with someone who is looking out for my personal best interest.

    The proceeds from the sale of my moms house just happens to equal what the current balance of my home loan. One says pay it off, the other says doesn't. I am lost.
    I feel your pain. I called my accountant for advice on how to consolidate some 401Ks and it was like opening an artery in shark infested water. It was just a simple question, but instead of answering it he confused me with jargon and vagaries. Then tried to scare/pressure me into hiring him to manage all of these confusing things. It was so obvious that he had an agenda.

    He's a decent accountant but there's no way I'm hiring him for financial planning. I want someone who works for me and he obviously works for himself!

    As far as your house goes, I don't know what options they've given you, but you will have a guaranteed return if you pay off your house, which will be the interest that you don't pay every year going forward. That's always been my strategy with money. With a home mortgage, the interest is generally low, but the high principle and long term cause the cost of your loan (total interest paid) approaches the value of your home! It's a guaranteed return.

    What if you ask those guys, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't just pay off my house?" And just hold them to actually answering your question.

    Or just fire em, lol.

    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    My days just bumped from 11 hours to almost 12 hours a day. I just can't do it anymore. My wish is to quit and get a part time job close to home that would just basically fund my health care until I am of age to collect Medicare. It's a big leap of faith, but every day I can't think of a reason to stay here.

    I just had some senior attorney b*tch at me about the scheduled carpet cleaning. It's in 2 weeks but he was grinding me about what would happen IF `he ate curry for lunch and threw up, would I make them wait until the 27th to clean it then!!???" Sigh. . I used to have a playful banter to offset nonsensical comments like this. But my tolerance is gone and I told him to call me if it ever happens. But until then, the carpet will be cleaned on the 27th.

    Just a snapshot of my day. .all day, every day. I am the complaint department, even when there isn't anything to complain about. I'm in my 17th year here and I think it's just about run it's course.

    Ahhh. . .breath. I leave Saturday for our annual week long girls trip to another state, 9 hours away. Going home to pack tonight AFTER my 2 hour drive home. 90 minutes if I'm lucky.
    I don't know how you do it. I b*tch if I have to drive 40 minutes to work! I would totally go for the nearby job. Even if you did a full time shift you'd probably gain 3 hours per day!

    Quit!
    Quit!
    Quit!
    Quit!
    Quit!
    Quit!
    Quit!
    Quit!

  5.  

  6. #2255
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    It's like a little cheer leading squad when I come here and read the supportive comments. Very much needed. ((hugs))

    I loved this financial planner. He's a CPA as well and I filed an extension for my 2018 taxes because I was a little over whelmed trying to reconcile my moms. Now mine is due next month. Next on the list of things to do is the Trustee taxes? The tax ID in my name and I have no clue the ramifications of this.

    Phew. I had a 4 inch folder of photo copied documents and a note pad with 20 questions. We covered a lot. Of course I wanted the crystal ball answer to my question.
    `When can I quit?' He smiled `Baby steps'

    I signed over my moms accounts for him to manage. Bye bye to Dave the finance guy, who talked over me and wouldn't come up for air long enough to answer a question.

    At one point the new planner vomited a bunch of investment jargon at me . ."the index of the gain, times the annuity", blah, blah. I glared at him and he laughed. `I just lost you, didn't I?' I asked him to dumb it down a little. Mind you, I am smarter than the average bear, at least I'd like to think so. But I need a dictionary of terms to understand all the nuances of investing. It's still a grey fuzzy area for me.

    I left him with a list of things to take care of and we will, as he said, come up with a forecast for retirement before the end of the year. It's just a forecast, mind you. But it's a lot more than I had at the start of my day, today.

    Tomorrow 6am . .Utah bound with 11 nutty women. Pray for me :)

    Jibralta, This guy didn't sell me anything. He didn't even offer. He told me his views on things and ultimately put me in a position where I had to ask to work with him. And how much I wanted him to handle -which I really appreciated. So yah, your gut is spot on. Steer clear of the aggressive ones. Smart move.
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 09-06-2019 at 06:29 PM.

  7. #2256
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Survived the girls trip but I don't think I'll be speaking to my best friend for quite a while. I don't want to waste much space here going on about it. I've whined about it enough and nothing changes. She's just toxic and I don't have the tolerance for it. I wasn't alone either. She managed to get under everyone's skin some time during the week.

    It seems I can get along with her when it's just the two of us. Any others and I somehow have a target on my back for ridicule and corrections. Sorry, my ex husband did that and I divorced him. I know the drill well. You try to tear me down so you somehow feel better about yourself.

    I come back to work to find my assistant, who informed me he was going to apply for another position in another department, got the job. This young man has been his own worst enemy for the first few years working with me, but managed to turn it around and mature some. Enough to actually get an opportunity in another department after being denied the first couple times he applied.

    My boss is an idiot (I've whined about this too) and I came home to find he reports to his new position on Monday and the replacement posting hasn't even been submitted. I've been goat roped into updating the open position over and over, so it currently reflects the responsibilities and between my boss and someone in HR, they keep getting lost in the weeds over semantics. It's Thursday and it's still not posted. I have to sometimes get to the point where I honestly don't care. Getting worked up about it (which I have been) is just pointless. I'll be critically short staffed seeing we didn't fill another opening as a test over the summer and things will fall through the cracks and I'll just shrug my shoulders and say `oh well' Call P***. I have half tempted to call in sick one day next week. What are they going to do, fire me??

    My office happens to be located amongst the team W is hired to join. I watch them all day, mull about socializing. I just peeked out to see 3 millennials hovering around one persons workstation, doing nothing. Yet, I am told that they are very busy and eager to have W start right away.

    One thing I do know for sure, when I do decide to quit here, I will give maybe 72 hours notice, if that.
    My staff are mostly entry level young people to leave this department for internal opportunities. I expect it. It's kind of the culture here. In turn they typically want them right away with out any regard to how it compromises my team and the work we do.

    Alot of the things I do, no one here has the slightest clue. They wouldn't know where to start, who to call or where to find things. I am entertained at the thought of when I do leave, how my knuckle head boss will have to scramble. After all that's how we roll in this department, right?
    Ideally, for my position, someone would have to be hired and trained before I left. Not happening!
    <annoyed>

  8. #2257
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    I am sorry to hear your friend was annoying on the trip! And sorry to hear about the work stress. But, welcome back!

  9. #2258
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    In 2003 I started with the company I am at as a receptionist in an office that is 9 miles from my home. Within a year I was promoted to position I am at now and work 34 miles from my home and my commute is 90 minutes each way. I dedicate 70 hours a week to a job I am no longer happy at.

    Things have changed over the years and I've written about it before but in so many ways my job is becoming redundant. We still have some very busy days and a project comes down the pipe when I least expect it. These things were typically budgeted for the previous year and I would calendar them to be completed during each quarter of a given year. Now, I never know when and if anything will land on my desk. So I wait.

    My assistant took advantage of an opportunity 3 weeks ago and no longer reports to me. HR has been slow to respond to applicants. Most recently I was told by our hiring manager that she's been `too busy' to make phone calls. Outside of my weakest employee, there is pretty much only myself to hold things down in the corporate office. I went from not having much to do, to not being able to get much done.

    Yesterday was an exceptionally busy day and I needed to borrow someone from another department to help out. I cried on my drive home, just to relieve some frustration, mostly due to being pulled into a closed door meeting with the COO and CFO to tell them my side of why something technical didn't work right during a very important meeting. which I had no control over)

    By the time I do hire someone, it will take close to 3 weeks of one on one training to bring them up to speed. I've had one interview and she showed up to her appointment 20 minutes late ;/

    I am so burned out. I so want to quit, but I need the benefits.

    I am in the office that is close to my home today. The receptionist here that reports to me is applying to different police departments. She is currently in a process that could very well lead her to give notice and go into an academy after the first of the year.

    I have some time to mull it around but I am contemplating stepping down from my position, taking a cut in pay and returning to this office as a receptionist.
    I would consider it my pre-retirement job. I've been looking at employment opportunities and what stops me in my track is the customary 10 day a year vacation time. That and the pay of course.

    As it stands now I have 7 weeks of accumulated paid time off. I wouldn't have the drive, the stress or the responsibilities I have now. Sorting mail and answering phones is not exactly my idea of fun, but the days of being hungry for challenges and seeing how far I can push myself are just about over.

    My concern is if I were to decide to ask for this and as much as it makes practical sense, I can't help but wonder what the attitude or thought process behind it might be. Would they consider letting a supervisor step down and still be employed and how well would that be received? If they decide it's not a good idea, have I played my cards by letting them know I am not happy and giving other options some considerable thought? I don't trust my boss and he reports to the head of HR. (Long story, but a conflict of interest) I don't have an advocate at my work.

    One minute I feel redundant and then when I least expect it I am reminded of my value, because not many know what I do, or how do to what I do, including my boss. If I were to disappear tomorrow they'd be in world of hurt.

    Just right now it's the ideal time to restructure our department. With this receptionist possibly leaving forces me to consider what restructuring might look like. My boss has been trying to figure out a way to do it that makes sense for some time now. (he's just not smart enough to commit to anything)

    When my mothers house sells, I could pay off my mortgage and easily live on a reduced income. For that matter I've been considering leaving here to do just that anyway.

    I wish I was a little more religious because I would be inclined to pray about this one. I don't know what to do.
    Last edited by reinventmyself; 10-11-2019 at 06:28 PM.

  10. #2259
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    I am sorry you're so stressed and overworked!

    I have a question - if you demoted yourself to receptionist wouldn't people still come to you with issues/questions for help related to your previous position? How would you handle that?

  11. #2260
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Yes, they would to a degree. But this satellite office has less than 30 employees v 150 in the corporate office.

    My home office is the corporate office and just because of the number of staff and proximity, that's where most of the work is. The remote offices I visit, but for the most part I am able to resolve issues by dialing it in.

    My assistants position I am hiring for, I could train them to do my job.

    There would be a transition period, no doubt and having just written this out, I'm not even sure I'm up for that. ;(


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