Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 31

Thread: "I'll call you" - what does it mean?

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    77

    "I'll call you" - what does it mean?

    Hi, Thank you so much for your help in advance... I hope you can help me with my story here it goes:

    I met a guy over a month ago and he liked me so much instantly saying I'm 'different' to any other girl he's dated before. In the beginning I was bit standoffish with him but then I ended up texting him and he called me back immediately and went on a date. It went well. We organised another date and I met his whole family at his niece's birthday party. He came over to my house and met my family too and things were going slowly but steady. After the last time I saw him which was almost three weeks ago at my house for dinner we gave each other a warm hug. I'm shy so he said he's ok with being patient with me. We haven't kissed or anything (it's too early) but we enjoy each other's company. Anyway, he's mentioned a couple of times that I caught him at a bad time cos this is the busiest time of the year for him with work. But he went from calling me every night (even if late) to not calling me at all and it's been like this for a week. I called him yesterday after he didn't respond to a text and he called me back immediately but he wasn't enthused to talk to me and at the end of the call he said: "I'll call you soon... I'll buzz you soon"... that's freaking me out a bit cos I know it's a sign of 'i'll call you don't call me'... I know I've only known him for just over a month but I'm bit sad and feel rejected. I think I may have said things to pissed him off like 'I'm thinking of leaving this city...' But I wouldn't if things progress nicely with him... I'm usually cool and know how to handle myself around men but I lose my mojo with this guy... I've shown him that I'm keen and a big mistake is that I avail myself to him though I've told him I had plans a couple of times... But why would he introduce me to his family twice and come over and ask to come over to see my family then say: "I'll call you soon?" I'm living my life normal, friends, shopping etc... but how long should I wait for him before I move on... But more importantly, What should I do to get him back? I like him I don't think he'll call me ... I'm 31 he's 34
    Last edited by Rihanna; 12-08-2014 at 06:47 AM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    4,543
    Sounds like he's not that in to you. Call him and suggest a date. If he brushes you off you have your answer

    People are often very enthusiastic on the first couple of meetings and then realise the other person isn't a match. It happens quite frequently

    Don't let it get you down
    That's just the way dating goes.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member offplanet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,896
    Gender
    Female
    I would not initiate any more contact with him as he's given you signs that he's lost interest, unfortunately.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Scoe141's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    U.S.
    Posts
    1,435
    Gender
    Male
    I agree with the above two posts. Call him and ask if he would like to get together. If he sounds apprehensive, take it as a sign he is either a) too immature to let a girl know how he feels, or b) or is just terrible at communication. Which arguably are one in the same.

    Anyway, if he doesn't respond or can't give you a straight answer, move on. It's nothing personal against you. There's just another guy waiting for you out there.

    Good luck.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    12,131
    This is the problem with those people who rush things and insta-relationship it. They are big on pronouncements from the get-go that don't make any sense like how special you are, how you aren't like anyone else, how they never felt this way blah-blah-blah when the blunt truth is they barely know you or even not at all outside of what you've said a time or two and how you look. And the whole rushing you to meet the famillies, the instant declarations of we're going to do this and we're going to do that are actually warning signs that you have someone who is fast-forwarding you through the relationship. It wasn't going slow and steady at all, you were being dropped into the point immediately that should have been reserved for a few more dates down the road at the very, very least.

    The reason these are bad things is most people can't sustain that level of high interest or they're hooked on the high of the immediate getting to know you/early stages of dating. And once the newness wears off a little bit they're disappointed and/or their attention goes elsewhere and it's over before it really began. It creates a false sense of huge intimacy and something so grand that surely this is the one, but the fact is it's not a relationship that is building over time. Declarations about how special or different you are come after getting to know you on multiple dates and in real life if they're genuine.

    Short answer, if it sounds too good to be true and it all happens too fast, almost out of the gate, it will usually not last. My guess is he's over the immediate rush and is now on to searching for the next rush or has decided he isn't all that into you after all. And is simply too unaware/cowardly to admit it. I would back off and start dating others again, you weren't really even in a relationship and as you can see the immediate spark for him now appears gone and he is no longer attentive. And this is before there's even been what, a second date? Yeah, time to move on, this one will not be able to sustain anything deep or lasting with you.

    There isn't anything you said or did or could have said or did to change the outcome of this. People like him who rush into things from the get-go are usually addicts to the rush of endorphins an infatuation brings and chase it like a drug addict chases their high. It has nothing to do with you. Sorry.

  7. #6
    Gold Member Kaiser_Soze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    41
    Posts
    765
    It's hard to get a read on what's going on here. He must have saw some long term potential with you to bring you around his family, unless you are just very attractive and he was just showing you off like an arm charm. I could see him feeling a little impatient with the lack of physical expression, but then he wouldn't avoid potential dates unless you told him something like you wanted to wait until being married to become intimate. The only other thing I could see is maybe he feels like you don't have the potential to be passionate, not just sexually but in life in general. Are you passionate? Have you opened up enough for him to see that you are interesting? Sometimes if a guy agrees to take it slow, he is tempering his expectations and doesn't feel as pressured to make as much of an effort. That can feel like someone is not interested, but then again so can a lack of physical contact.
    Last edited by Kaiser_Soze; 12-08-2014 at 02:05 PM.

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    77
    Thank you all for your wise advice... Do you think I should a) call him and explain myself b) do no contact for a week then send him a message of a memory of good date c) send him a message asking him to help me with something? ... Do you guys really think that "I'll call you soon" means I never wanna see you again?

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    77
    BTW Kaiser your reply especially rocks! Yes I feel because he said he's happy to be patient sexually he's not making too much effort... I offered to give him massage and didn't hear from him so I called and apologized for the offer haha... He was like nooo don't it's all good etc... What can I do or say to spark interest in him? I was bit cold with him but he knows I'm shy unless he grabs me and kisses me I won't... Should I tell him to? Lol

  10. #9
    Gold Member Kaiser_Soze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    41
    Posts
    765
    It's ok to be shy and for some guys it's a turn on. The problem is it can at times come accross as indifferent or boring. Let him know you are into him. Next time you go out kiss him with some passion. It doesn't have to be wild to project desire. Right now he wants you, but probably isn't sure if you want him too. Guys generally have a hard time differentiating subtleties in women. A passionate kiss lets him know you are into him and also reaffirms his effort and intent with you. Step a little outside your comfort zone, that nervous, heart racing, anticipation can be such a chemistry boost if you embrace it. Call him and just let him know you've been thinking about him and want to see him.


    Oh, and don't second guess yourself. That massage offer was exactly what he needed, that's why he didn't want you to apologize for it, because that's exactly what he needed to see.
    Last edited by Kaiser_Soze; 12-08-2014 at 07:10 PM.

  11. #10
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    77
    Thank you so much Kaiser ... When do you think it's a good time to call him? He said "I'll call you soon" on Sunday over the phone and I don't want to come accross as deseperate... I agree with you I will show him more flirting and passion next time I see him but I need to get to see him first! that's the entire challenge now... What will make a guy want to meet up? what words Should I utter to instigate "I have to see her, I can't wait" instead of 'I'll see I'll call you ok?" ... Should I tell him 'I'd like to come over to your house?' Please Kaiser help me ... Can I offer him that massage one more time or is that done and dusted? He's a really nice guy but I think I'm pressing the wrong buttons here

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •