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Thread: resignation blues

  1. #1
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    ECCENTRICITY equals ME

    Resignation Blues...

    i never thought i will ever feel this way again - SO UNPRODUCTIVE.

    the reason why i hurried on to getting a job right after graduating from college is that i wanted to be very busy in order to forget him. i did! but only for a while. only during office hours when i'm struggling over my daily quota (2,800 words of web copy)... only during dinner time because of the engaging conversations with my family... only during Sundays when i'm hearing mass... but other than that, there's no way i can forget him.

    I wish that my brod would call me up right now to tell me of the good news - that i can start with my new job by next week. You see, even though i seem so pathetic here because of my ex, i still have the capacity to make good decisions. i will not resign if i don't have a prospective employer in mind. Actually, everything is set. i'm now just waiting for the final approval of my brod's (and my soon to be) boss.

    I'm gonna receive a higher salary with this new job. The nature of work is exciting for the reason that it has VARIETY. compared to my sooo boring work as a writer in my former job, i'm going to travel a lot and meet people! isn't that amazing?!!

    I can't wait to start with my new job and get rid of all these resignation blues... I can't wait to receive a higher pay.... I can't wait to travel...

    I can't wait to be busy again...busy enough to forget him...even for a while.
    Last edited by denise_14; 09-04-2008 at 09:16 AM.

  2. #2
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    First few days in my new office were not so good...

    If journals were men's best friends, then ENA must've left me 'friendless' a long time ago. So now, I'm back with a resolution: to come up with journal entries REGULARLY. The question is, how regular is regular? Hmmm

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    My superior told me I can opt not to report for work today (I'm glad he thought of that). It's a kinda weird arrangement. I've been going to the office since Wednesday of last week, but my appointment is not yet effective. That means, I've worked for 5 days with no pay. What was I thinking? Everything's all set except for the results of the Medical Exam. The contract couldn't be finalized unless the results show that I'm 'FIT TO WORK'. Employment procedures. Crap.

    There's a lot of work to be accomplished in the division so even if I'm not yet officially on board, they've already given me tasks, which i gladly fulfilled. Well, I've got no choice. My superior is my fraternity brod and the reason why I got in the company easily is because of his help (talk about bureaucracy). I might as well do him the favor.

    I also thought that it would be my chance to impress him (and his boss) and prove to them that they made the right choice of hiring me. Unfortunately, my work was far from being impressive. He made a lot of revisions.

    Darn! I'm feeling so down. I've always been commended for a job well done in my previous work. Now, I feel I'm a disappointment. I tried to gain back my self esteem over the weekend. Monday came, I was given new tasks. I did my best with the thought of redeeming my self. I hope I did.

    So yesterday I was told that the results were not yet in, thanks to the "very efficient" HR personnel. My superior told me that we might as well just wait until the contract's ready. I'm glad he realized it's not a good idea to make me work with no pay yet.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Good thing my dear friend ENA doesn't mind if I only get to visit and write entries when I'm feeling down, or when I simply have nothing to do. Maybe that's what I mean by REGULARLY....

  3. #3
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    The blame's always on me...WHY?

    Me: Hey! Are you driving to the city this weekend? Let's catch Boys Like Girls at the mall...

    Him: Yeah, but it's the wedding of my sister...

    Me: Who? the one who looks like you? This Saturday?

    Him: Ahuh... bring on the thunder...

    Me: Sad. wrong timing...

    Him: I went to the city a couple of times already, it's just now that you asked...hehe...


    Was it my fault that it's only now when I've mustered enough guts to ask him out? Yes. Maybe it's my fault.

    This guy's soooo hard to read. I remember it was him who asked for some space because we're drifting farther and farther apart. I didn't want to, but I agreed. Since then, I text and call him less often than I used to. It even came to a point wherein we'll go NC for a week or two.

    Sometimes, he'll be the one to text me first; there are times that it's me. Even though I want to talk to him everyday, ask how he's been, what he's doing as of the moment, if he already ate dinner, etc. etc.... I am reluctant. Why? because his replies give me the impression that he doesn't care at all.

    A few days ago, after hours of composing a text message (I ended up with a simple I miss you, though) and a couple of minutes more before I finally pressed the SEND button, I was very disappointed because he didn't seem to appreciate it anyway.

    He said:

    You say you miss me but not once have you asked how I've been doing. Good night...

    Sorry, okay! Do you hear me? Yeah, it's my fault. It has always been. But I still love you...](*,)

  4. #4
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    Life & Whims...

    Just thought of making a shout out... HAPPY GRANDPARENTS' DAY!!!

    To the folks responsible for bringing our parents into this world who, after a few years, made love and so we are here now, kicking a**...
    Enjoy your day!

    No doubt about it, they deserve all the happiness and contentment. I envy them for being able to surpass daily life struggles. Let me share some of my insights...

    Life is not everything about you, in fact life is LARGER than you. You are just a speck in its grandeur. It doesn't stop even if...
    ...you got a flat tire
    ...you failed an exam
    ...you missed the championship
    ...you got fired in your job
    ...your parents disowned you
    ...your partner left you
    ...your kids abandoned you

    LIFE goes on... and so must you. Don't be left out. Be thankful for every waking day. Be happy you can still experience LIFE!

    A few decades from now I'll also grow white hairs (sign of wisdom) and I hope to be remembered not only by my grandchildren but also by everyone else I met along in this journey.

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  6. #5
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    Pissed off by former employer...

    I wonder how some people can become so inconsiderate and rude!
    In my earlier entries, I've mentioned about me resigning from a writing job (which now proved to be the best decision I've made just yet!). Now, I'm going to reiterate how thankful I am for breaking free from all that sh***.

    Pay day is every 3rd and 18th of the month. My last day of work fell on the 20th. So technically, I still worked for two days ( the 19th and 20th) and I am still entitled to receive my salary on the 3rd of September.

    A few days ago, I asked a favor from two of my former office mates to claim my pay check along with my clearance. I just found out that until now, the HR Supervisor still hasn't endorsed my check and clearance, and today is already the 8th of September (yeah it's Mama Mary's birthday as observed by most Catholics, and it's so untimely to be raged...)

    So I texted the HR Supervisor twice but she ain't responding. I'm so pissed off! If she's doing her job then I suppose my check should've been ready by the 3rd of September, unless she intentionally didn't include me in the payroll anymore. Why the hell will she do that? Records show that I still reported for work and submitted my quota for the 19th and 20th of August. Up to the last minute, I exerted effort and came up with articles that meet company standards. I deserve to get paid.

    What if I went to the office on the 3rd to claim my salary? So it means I'll go home empty handed? Darn! I really hate the admin.! Now I understand why I've read about a lot of negative feedbacks about the company (from the blogs of their former writers).

    You may say it's so petty of me to run after a 'two-day salary'. Actually, it's really just a small amount (that I'm bound to spend with one single visit to Starbuck's). If she doesn't want to give me my salary, fine! It's just so disappointing. She could've at least responded to my texts out of courtesy and told me that I won't be receiving any pay anymore. I'd appreciate that.

    Well, looking at the brighter side of it, I'm just really happy that I've already resigned from that company. My new job is way, way, way cooler than that crap! Even if the application procedure and contract signing took quite a longer time, the admin. is definitely more effective and I will be compensated accordingly.

    I pity the other writers that are still in that company. I hope they get out of the dark really soon. If there's one thing I'd miss about my former job though, it's the people I've worked with - the other underpaid writers struggling over an inhumane quota of 2,800 words per day. Hands down to our Text Content Services Department Manager. You deserve a better job than that! If it wasn't for you, I could have just did AWOL right after I got my salary last 18th of August and no longer reported for two more days for free...

    and to the HR Supervisor and admin... shame on you!

  7. #6
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    Cheesecake anyone?

    After feeling really upset because of the HR Supervisor I mentioned earlier, I wanted some comfort food. I was craving for cheesecake, but couldn't find any. Wait! I remember the box of Krispy Kreme I bought last Saturday. I wish no one ate the blueberry cheesecake variant...

    Haha! No one did! Lucky me...

    Cheesecakes (along with doughnuts, ice cream, caramel bars, and all the sweet stuff) are like friends, they make me feel better. The photo below (yummy) is one I actually shared with my sorority sisters some time in March of this year. I really miss hanging around with the girls. In as much as I would love to visit the University every time they hold an activity, work always gets in the way!

    Books, booze, boys! Ah... college days. I really miss being a student. For the most part, I miss the company of my sorority sisters way back in college. I could just imagine what the scenario would be like if we were hanging out in my apartment right now. Everyone will be trying to get a bite of the blueberry cheesecake doughnut! How chaotic! Now, I've got no one to share this piece with...

    Cheesy...

  8. #7
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    Old friend, new phone number, timeless topic…

    …these were the essential elements of last night.

    In the midst of the nothingness and laziness of the evening, I suddenly received a text message that says Hi. I did not know this number. When I changed my number and unit last summer, I lost several contacts. I asked who s/he was. It was my good ol’ friend Tricia!

    I thought I had her number saved in my phonebook. C’mon. What was I thinking? People change their numbers. I just did, so why can’t she? I knew this exchange of text messages is bound to last until midnight so I hurriedly subscribed to the unlimited texting service of my network provider.

    Darn I missed her! It’s been so long since we last talked... like 3 years? We’ve been friends since I was 12. We studied in the same school. After a few how are you’s and what have you been doing’s , we decided to meet up some time and have some drink. She told me to just text her any time the booze is ready. Wow! So it’s me who’s responsible to organize the reunion? She replied “Coz it’s you who’s got money. Lol.” Gee. I may have successfully landed in an esteemed company that gives a relatively high salary, but I’ve also got freakin' bills to pay!

    As we went on with the conversation, she asked about my ex. Not him. Her. Yes. I was once involved in a same-sex relationship. I wasn’t surprised though that Tricia brought this up. She’s among the very, very few people who knew and whom I can talk to with regarding this topic. She is a bisexual.

    Oh well, I never thought I will ever talk about this again. It’s a thing of the past. It’s the chapter of my life that has already gotten its conclusion. The ex Tricia was referring to, she ended up as my friend. I had a reunion with her last month because my office in my previous work is situated near hers. During the times we ate lunch together or took the same bus on our way home from work, I had this feeling that she still loves me. Tricia confirmed my intuitions. I believe they had the chance to talk about me.

    As for me, I’m completely over the relationship. I am straight; I can’t picture myself falling for another female. Not again. Not anymore. Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against same sex relationships. I also experienced having one, and it taught me a lot. It taught me about love in the deepest sense. When you are in love, you love a person, not a male or a female per se. It also taught me what I really want and who I really am. I am a woman destined for a man.

    Tricia is one of the most open-minded people in the world. She completely understands and respects me, although she doesn’t deny that she feels for my ex and she still hopes that we’ll get back together (or other miracles of that sort).

    I told Tricia about the man I love. I said she can google him to find out how much of a hottie he is. She actually did, at that very moment. She hadn’t changed one bit – still impulsive. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t find any photo of him. The search engine only directed her to a forum that includes a discussion of my guy and how he is the hottest fratman that ever walked our University, and to the Veterinary Licensure Exam results wherein he ranked 30th.

    I wasn’t able to tell Tricia much about him because she fell asleep in the middle of our text conversation. Oh well, I ain’t mad. I realized that it’s been a while since the last time I stayed up this late and I needed to hit the sack as well…

  9. #8
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    Sweet Sunday sighs...

    My weekend is almost over.

    When I was still a student, I was always looking forward to Mondays. Technically the first day of the weekdays, Monday is the best time to make an impression in class (hand in that clever assignment and woo your professor!), display a new outfit, and talk with friends and classmates about how you spent an awesome weekend partying all Saturday night and eating mom's specialty cookies on Sunday afternoon.

    Now that I'm already in the corporate world, Monday marks another dreadful week of dealing with bosses, accomplishing reports, meeting deadlines, and stressing over what smart and serious business attire to wear the next day.

    Why all these negative vibes?? Take 'em away! I have a job and that's all that matters. I should be happy I do not belong in the unemployed population of the country. Well yes, I am happy and thankful for the opportunity. It's just that the workplace gives me anxiety and pressure. Ever since I moved in to my new office, I feel that I'm not doing well. There's something wrong. I'm intimidated by the presense of all the other more experienced employees. It drives me crazy.

    This can be attributed to the following factors

    1. I've consistently performed well in the University and I've handled notable positions in my organizations. I was even the Head of our sorority during my senior year in college. Maybe, I already forgot what it feels like to be a subordinate.

    2. As a Communication major, I am expected to be working in the Media and in other related industries. I am now working in an Agricultural/Pharmaceutical Industry. I think I'm out of place.

    3. My love life's a mess. It could've been a lot better if I had someone to talk to with after work...someone to comfort me, to cuddle with at night and help me relax, forget about my troubles, and make me feel loved. His absense changes everything.

    At the end of the day, it all boils down to missing my honey...

  10. #9
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    random thoughts...

    Last night I had a good time. We celebrated the birthday of our big boss (the Department Manager). It was my first time to actually drink with my work mates.

    Today I don't know. I still feel that I'm not doing anything good at all (in the workplace, that is). I need to please my boss. Since I am his sis, he gave me an opportunity to work for their company. I don't want him to regret having hired me.

    I have yet to decide what I'm gonna wear tomorrow. I must go shopping because I'm running out of corporate attire. Maybe shopping will help lessen my anxieties.

    I need money for shopping. I need a job for financial stability. I have a job, obviously. A career? We'll see...

  11. #10
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    Learning things the harder way...

    Nothing in life is learned without hardships and sufferings...

    It's been a few weeks now since I moved in to my new office, and I guess I'm already getting used to my new work environment. It really just takes extra effort to move out of my comfort zones. I now understand that it'll take time before I completely imbibe the new system and love my job. I've read my previous entries; I think I've been complaining a lot about my job and what's going on with work. It's a sucker attitude and I kinda hated myself for that. Now, I promise to be more optimistic...and I'm starting with this one

    All fired up!

    Yesterday, before I left the office, I had a few minutes of chit-chat with my boss/brod. We talked about the successful flair activity spearheaded by our sorority last Thursday which he was able to attend to (I wasn't able to attend because the birthday of my mom falls on the same date). I can't help but feel proud because it was me who actually thought of such activity when I was still the Head. I'm glad the residents decided to pursue on it.

    I can't help but recall my sorority days in college. Ah! Fond memories. I had to go through a lot of hardships when I was still a neophyte. Then there were even more hardships once I got in. Nevertheless, it was all worth it. The sorority serves as an excellent training ground in preparation for the real world - life after college.

    True enough, my boss has high expectations of me especially because I became Head of the sorority. I will do my best so as not to disappoint him.

    Tomorrow, the brods have an activity and I'm excited because I will be able to attend it. I already missed out a lot of activities since I started working. I'll make it up to them. I'm quite nervous because I believe my ex will also attend the activity. If he does, then this will be our first encounter since we last saw each other a year ago. I dunno what's gonna happen. I'm not expecting anything, but, a simple smile from him is enough to send shivers to my bones.

    I also underwent a lot of hardships in terms of my love life. Well, I'm not really done with my struggles so to speak. I'm not sure if we'll ever get back together. I don't even know if he still cares. However, one thing is certain - I learned a lot from the relationship and it has made me a better person.

    If you ask me how I'm doing right now and what has been the effect of all the messy stuff I've been through as a result of my foolish actions, this is my honest reply: I'm not happier, but I'm wiser. Whether in love or career wise, I guess we really have to learn things the harder way.
    Last edited by denise_14; 09-20-2008 at 12:38 PM.

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