He doesnt want to make us public on fb

We have been in a long distance relationship for 6 months,he says its serious,he met my parents and i met his .I asked him today to put our relatonship official on facebook,but he said flat out no to that

Now,is this something to be upset and angry over? this is a major thing for me and i have no idea what to do

If its a major thing for you then tell him that and if he still doesn't do it then ask him why not doing it means so much to him. Once you get his answer then you can decide if it really IS that major of a thing for you and whether or not you can trust that he values you as much as you value him.

If its a major thing for you then tell him that and if he still doesn't do it then ask him why not doing it means so much to him. Once you get his answer then you can decide if it really IS that major of a thing for you and whether or not you can trust that he values you as much as you value him.

He says we are not ready,he never did it before and he doesnt want to have to remove it later on as it is embaressing to him

He's probably got someone on the side. Maybe he told her that she's the only one and a public FB proclamation of your relationship would drive a nail right into the coffin.

That's often a reason why but it's total speculation. That's why I think its important that you understand from HIM why he doesn't want his status made public. He must have a reason and if you're his committed/exclusive gf then he shouldn't have any trouble telling you what that reason is. If he does have a problem telling you, then I would consider that your first red flag.

Sorry... just saw this

He says we are not ready,he never did it before and he doesnt want to have to remove it later on as it is embaressing to him

Will he put "in a relationship," just not your name? I know some couples who do that.. but if he won't even put that he's in a relationship, he's probably keeping himself open to other options.

I guess that is a reason, but I wouldn't be surprised if he is hiding something OR he is not certain that he wants to be in a relationship. If he is worried about being embarrassed or taking it off, then he is already thinking that it won't last IMO.

When I was dating one of my exes, I wanted him to link our profiles...at the time, I didn't know why...but upon reflection...it's because I wasn't secure in our relationship. I was worried he would cheat on me. Did him having his relationship status linked to me change anything? No. I was still insecure after.

I've dated guys before him...and guys after....including my current guy...and I don't care if we're linked...it was just that one ex...because I thought it would make me feel more secure. He's a cheater even when he was wearing a wedding ring...so it was naive to think a silly fb thing would change things.

If he's keeping his options open....changing his status will do nothing. You either trust him...or you don't.

And maybe it's not about that....so...

Think about your reason why. Why does it mean so much to you?

Just some food for thought.

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I'm not a fan of putting relationship issues of any kind on Facebook. It's like putting it on a billboard: may feel fine when all is good (except it can come accross as boasting, and a bit tacky), but if things go downhill why broadcast it? It's something to share with family and friends in face to face conversations, or on the phone, but it doesn't need to be a public announcement. A wedding, fine, but not a new relationship.

I know quite a number of people who don't like putting their relationship status on Facebook. Nothing wrong with it if they just want more privacy. Particularly for a new relationship of only 6 months, and long distance if I understand correctly?

It may NOT be such a big deal as you're making it out to be.

Some people prefer NOT to have their lives all over the internet.

In the last 6 yrs. I have never made it known whether i was in a relationship.. or not. I didn't need to have it be made as anyone else's business.

It was never discusses and never done. I was fine with that.

It may NOT be such a big deal as you're making it out to be.

Some people prefer NOT to have their lives all over the internet.

 

In the last 6 yrs. I have never made it known whether i was in a relationship.. or not. I didn't need to have it be made as anyone else's business.

It was never discusses and never done. I was fine with that.

But lets say your partner made it an issue,how would you react then?

Have you figured out why, Amila?

You should ignore what he wants and ask yourself why do you need to broadcast your relationship status to everyone that you barely know on fb, or actually those you don't even know since you want it to be set to public.

I used to want this because I had a distant boyfriend. I was suspicious and worried, of course that relationship never worked. Now I'm in a relationship with a good man, which I don't even need to worry about our relationship being public on fb or not.

Perhaps (I have not looked to see) there is a generational divided between people who put their relationship status on FB and those who do not. All I can tell is 99% of people my age and younger find nothing strange about putting a relationship status on FB and the only reason not to is because there is a person(s) that you don't want to know you are in a relationship.

His reasoning that you are not "Ready" for that yet sounds very much like BS to me since you have already meet each others families. Personally? I think he has a dish on the side that he wants to keep around for awhile longer.

I would find it highly insulting if a guy did not want to put our relationship status on FB. To me that's like a guy wanting to go out in public but show no outward signs we are together, like hand-holding.

Have you figured out why, Amila?

Because we are long distance,he eve mentioned us getting engaged till new year,yet this is too early? it would create some form of security,and proof that he is honest,For all i know he could have a gf there as well

Because we are long distance,he eve mentioned us getting engaged till new year,yet this is too early? it would create some form of security,and proof that he is honest,For all i know he could have a gf there as well

Wait, stop. He is willing to discuss an engagement but not willing to put your relationship status on FB? This sounds very much like he is trying to appease you to keep your around.

Red Flags.

We are your generation moontiger,he is 27 and i am 25,and fb relationship is the norm

he said first he never did it before ,he is embaresed to remove it as we have had many fights recently,and it could end, and he would have to remove it,but if he is willing to give it a try still after the fights,then there is no reason to be negative towards it, i think

I think what is more important is if you guys have agreed on being exclusive. If you have, and you still don't trust him then there are issues with your relationship.

but if he is willing to give it a try still after the fights,then there is no reason to be negative towards it, i think

So the truth comes out - you had been fighting and the relationship isn't rosy as it seems, it's not about whether to put it on Facebook, he's having doubts about the relationship altogether - "if he is willing to give it a try still after the fight" - a try for what, to continue the relationship?

I've never witnessed a situation like this (hiding it on fb) where the suspect wasnt fooling around on the side...just saying.

Because we are long distance,he eve mentioned us getting engaged till new year,yet this is too early? it would create some form of security,and proof that he is honest,For all i know he could have a gf there as well

This is odd. There's a reason you feel like you need the facebook status to secure things. Now...stop and think...is this the kind of relationship that leads to a healthy marriage? A guy who is saying one thing and doing another...no wonder your intuition is going off.

I think you need to think about if this is even the right relationship for you. I mean, the fb thing isn't a big deal IMO...but dangling of the engagement carrot this early into your relationship AND him not wanting to back it up with fb...is weird. But...more concerning...that you feel you need fb to feel secure. Do you want to be in a relationship where a fb status will make you feel like he cares and like he's going to fulfil his bf obligations to you?

People can claim that FB doesn't matter but I think that is utterly false in today's world. How many times have we heard "Be careful what you put on FB!", "OMG, did you see what he/she put on FB?", etc. Its a highly edited depiction of someone's life. Its where you put the things your WANT people to know and don't put anything you don't want them to know. Love it or hate it, its part of modern society and culture now.

For someone to be highly resistant to putting a relationship status on FB raises eyebrows. Then when you consider that his excuses make no sense AND he is talking about an engagement, well, its not hard to see what is going on.

OP, I would walk away from this guy.

Fyi, he could agree to put the relationship on fb, but change the privacy setting so that only the gf can see the status but no one else. How would you go about controlling that? His friends wont know that he's in a relationship..

People can claim that FB doesn't matter but I think that is utterly false in today's world. How many times have we heard "Be careful what you put on FB!", "OMG, did you see what he/she put on FB?", etc. Its a highly edited depiction of someone's life. Its where you put the things your WANT people to know and don't put anything you don't want them to know. Love it or hate it, its part of modern society and culture now.

I get what you're saying. Totally. And I'm 31...so I'm Gen Y too...I just...get the not wanting to put it out there....especially when it's new. Most of my friends wait to change it until engagement.

My fb pic is one of my bf and I...his hasn't changed in 3 years. He hasn't made a status in over a year. It's just...not important. It's more important...how he treats me. How he makes time for me...and things he does to show me he cares. If there's no insecurity in the relationship, fb is meaningless. We've met each others friends and family...and I couldn't care less if past coworkers and old friends from high school know if we're dating...because...we're more than that. Does that make sense?