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Thread: Diary Of A Redhead

  1. #31
    Gold Member mylolita's Avatar
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    Feels like first day back at school. Eurgh!

    Why can't I just win the lottery? Maybe I should start buying a ticket first!

    Temperature drop, dull day, 9 to 5. Can't be bothered! Where has my optimism gone from yesterday?

    I promised myself I'd have an early night. Instead I was pulled by the evil powers of netflicks and started watching this tv series called 'Bates Motel' with D. It's like this modern, contemporary prequel of the film 'Psycho'. I thought it was gonna be rubbish and just something to veg out too, but we're both into it and I'm obsessed!

    I was gonna go to the gym tonight but resisting that lovely red netflicks screen is gonna be tough. I am weak!

    Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go.

    x

  2. #32
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mylolita
    Hey Optimisitc - I feel exactly the same way about mine. It's like they're young teenagers or worse, there's no maturity there.



    I have heard this Victoria! I think I'd get along with a brother more! Sometimes I think siblings of the same sex can horde resentment and jealousy. I know my sister always used to compare herself to me and others, she probably wouldn't have done that if I were a guy. Glad to hear you get on

    x
    Yeah I think it's just easier to get along with a sibling that you don't have to compete with. As teenagers my brother and I had squabbles like everybody does. But we've only had one major disagreement since we've been adults and that was like I don't know maybe 17 years ago.

    And I think personalities come into play as well. In my own family my brother was very laid-back and still is. He is very prepared to let everybody be who they are. Personality wise he's an extremely laid-back variation of my mother. Me ,I'm far more high strung. Part of it is I was born that way and have been that way since I was an infant and the other part is I was always expected to tow the line and perform and be perfect because I had to be an example. The other part is that we were taught family is the most important thing in the world. And we have always been told we will have only each other after our mother is gone. And that that bond is sacred and should be cherished. And we do both cherish it. And I know a lot of people are probably raised that way as well but the relationships with siblings just go awry for whatever reason. But I see a lot of people on here who have the same sex sibling just never get along with them yet their sibling of the opposite sex they get along with. I guess I just don't understand because I only have an opposite sex sibling. I do have a stepsister and a foster sister though but by the time I met my stepsister I was 25 years old and she was 14 so it's not the same. And my foster sister is only 16 so I am more like a mother than a sister.

  3. #33
    Gold Member happy_snapper's Avatar
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    I think that's why me and my sisters get on so well. I have a younger sister who's 20, I'm 28 and my older sister is 30. My sisters don't have to "compete", because of the big age gap and I don't have to compete with either of them because I'm a bloke.

    Probably the most strained relationship (relatively), is between me and my older sister, probably because we're so close together in age. We grew up together, we beat each other up, we blamed things on each other, we broke each other's stuff... She still jokingly reminds me of a time when I was about 1 year old and I threw a door-wedge at her face and drew blood (no idea how she can remember something that happened when she was 3).

  4. #34
    Gold Member mylolita's Avatar
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    Peter & Victoria - this really seems to be the case! x

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  6. #35
    Gold Member mylolita's Avatar
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    First day back at work after 3 and a half weeks off... I SURVIVED! Beyonce will be proud of me. Whats the lyrics in her song survivor?

    'If I surround my self with positive things I'll gain prosperity.'

    God, it feels so GOOD to have my sister out of my life for a bit! The fresh air is amazing! I guess you never really know when you're being poisoned by a toxic person because they kill you slowly, but after a bit of recovery you bounce back better than ever! Daaaaayyyyymmn!

    Kinda ecstatic tonight! World, I'm in love! First day back under my little belt, everything went smooth and even though my day wasn't perfect (I walked into a pile of paper dumped on my desk - good morning!), I can say it doesn't matter. Perfection is thankfully not demanded by me today. I am content just the way things are.

    I came home to an empty flat with all my wedding decorations packed in boxes scattered at different levels all up the stairs, hall, upper stairs, upper landing - chaos! I'm tripping over piles of hessian and bubble wrapped glass jars. Work heels have been left by the side of the 'shoe basket'. Sorry baby. They deserve better, they're too pretty to be chucked in with D's slippers that never get worn (but I often pinch). They're sleeping with a different crowd tonight.

    My shoes are like extended family. The best ones live in organised boxes set in a line on top of my wardrobe. Black chunky marker on the front describes the feminine innards. 'Gold mules', 'Lime Green Heels', 'Retro Blue Wedges', 'Nude stilettos' etc. I could dream in shoes. In vintage, in patent leather, in reds and velvet and suede and embellished. Lip quiver!

    I just refuse to wear anything less than a power heel at work. It makes no sense. Comfort? Huh?

    I've always been struck by the striking uglyness of certain places and things in life. I remember being 8 and dragged with my sister in toe to this awful, dreary methodist thing my grandma and grandad used to go to annually. Every year, it was the same routine. This overly hot room, stifling really, full of the smell of old people. Such a hideous building, this modern church. Bleak, washed out teak all over, bombarding - you were bombarded by this awful pale but shiny fake looking wood everywhere, even in rows on the ceiling. And even the huge, blank cross above the stage was made of this stuff. I remember day dreaming between standing up and sitting down, shuffling my bum, aching from staying so still, and wondering where the glamour was? It almost pained me, the lack of glamour.

    The whole thing was a drain. The atmosphere was politically correct, the music was this limp, un-inspiring sway routine which caused everyone to look dazed and half asleep as they mouthed the words and amazingly voices came out. Everyones mouth a weak 'O'. No passion, no fun. Old jumpers everywhere, moth balled, pleated brown skirts. A terrible length. Everything was a terrine length. Skirts ended just above ankles, jumpers sagged below bums making all the horrendously obese women look even bigger. Ties were tied painfully tight, making the old, red sagging necks of elderly men hang over their starch collars. My eyes and soul were assaulted.

    From a young age, my heart just cried out for glamour. I love glamorous people in nature and in appearance. I love beautiful things. I love a beautiful life. I constantly pursue to surround myself with beauty and lovely things.

    Maybe this sounds like a bash on the beige parade, don't get me wrong, I love beige, and being beige, there's nothing wrong with it, as long as you rock it. But this lack of lust in general, oh god, it's depressing. I see it everywhere. It's bleak. I've never been in anywhere so lack luster in my life as that dreary church, and don't presume it's because I have anything against religion, it just happened to be a church. I could say the same about my primary school hall or the office. Run for the hills people.

    Well, glamour has come to town! Get your weekend dress on and shake your hair out, D's coming home and he's bringing me some food. He's been out for a beer with the guys. I love the taste of Budweiser on his mouth when I kiss him.

    Ah, sometimes life is good. Especially the beautiful life! Cluster yourself with beauty and everything lovely, whatever you find that may be. Smother yourself in luxury, whatever your luxury may be!

    Tonight I am serving up my husband sultry pie, and he's eating!!!!!

    Twinkle twinkle!

    Lo x

  7. #36
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    I'm one of those women who can't wear heels. I wish I could. I see heels on Pinterest and I LOVE how they look but I walk like Bambi taking his first steps when I wear them. hahah.

  8. #37
    Gold Member mylolita's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by OptomisticGirl
    I'm one of those women who can't wear heels. I wish I could. I see heels on Pinterest and I LOVE how they look but I walk like Bambi taking his first steps when I wear them. hahah.
    Optimistic, thats so cute though! Everything gets easier with practice x

  9. #38
    Gold Member mylolita's Avatar
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    Morning has broken, and it's broken into dull skies and a slight chill in the air.

    I could barely open my eyes when the alarm went off (Bob Marley, 'Wait In Vain'). I'm having my routine cup of coffee in the bath chased by half a cup of peach green tea.

    I'm feeling good. Excited, even. I'm not exactly sure why! The thought of Autumn, jumpers, blustering wind, boots, Hot Chocolate, cosy nights, candles and Christmas fill me with expectation. I love parties and celebrations of any kind, especially the intimate sort that Christmas is. I hate the family rounds though, I always have, even from being a kid, but I love friends and family coming to the apartment and decking those halls to the absolute nines! (In the most tasteful of decorations of course, haha!). I love hanging mistletoe and evergreen sprigs from our chandelier in the living room. Smells and looks brilliant. Oh, to entertain!

    Sometimes I just feel like a trapped 50's housewife struggling to function in this female empowered world. I think it's amazing women have come this far, but when I get the secret nod or wink from another woman just because I'm working and in a professional environment, I can't help but feel belittled and offended. Why does it even matter that we're women?

    There's a lady who owns her own business a few doors down from our apartment. She always mentions how my boss is incompetent and how she likes to leave everything to a 'professional, business woman' like myself. I find her pretty sexist! Surely you chose to deal with someone professionally based on their merits and not on their sex? You can always guarantee I'll get a wink from her when she comes into the office and hands me over some work instead of giving it to my boss. Stupid thing is, I pass it onto him anyway! I guess in her mind, the idea that a woman in a suit is dealing with it appeals more for some reason.

    Actually, I should stop being so suspicious of people all the time, I'm being really mean. I always start to ramble, I must stop this going off topic. I'm mentally off roading!

    My mind really has a hard time focusing on one thing. I can barely keep my concentration up on one task at work for more than 10 minutes and then I start thinking about something else or starting something new. It drives me insane! A slap on the wrist for me!

    I find myself slipping into daydreams and drifting above reality. Two conversations seem to be playing, one in my head and the other outside when people speak. I really need to chill my brain down, it's crazy.

    So, back to feeling good, especially for a grey morning.

    I need to quit this damn job. I really do. After being away so long I realised how b****y boring it is. I will have been there 3 years now. Thats the longest time I've ever stuck to a job, and I only think it's because I've been part time. In fact I know it. If it had been full time I probably would have lasted a year, thats my normal track record. Everything grows stale when nothing moves on. I'm still doing the same old things I did three years ago.

    My boss wants me to start coming in and working a Monday afternoon for 3 and a half hours. I did this for nearly 2 years after my good friend and college W suggested it to him because I was desperate for more hours. I mean ideally, I practically begged him for full time for half a year solid. He aways kept me hanging and still to this day hasn't technically said no, but I know and he knows it's never going to happen.

    It's an awkward shift that I asked to drop a few weeks ago that he agreed too. D wants me to start working for him on a Monday and Tuesday. I need to find the assertive girl inside of me and simply say I can't do it. I can, but I don't want too. And he's been just as awkward over hours before. I need full time or part time there, not a weird mixture of both thats only convenient to him. I never signed a contract and originally the deal was only to work the end of the week.

    I'm not going to get pent up over it and I'm not going to make a big deal out of whats going to be a simple, friendly, polite discussion about hours. I'm an adult now and I need to stop freaking out over every little thing that causes me a smidge of discomfort. Who enjoys this s**t? Surely no one! I avoid it at all costs! Confront it woman, don't scurry.

    I'm going to come out with it this morning before his son is in the office. It's best to do these things without an audience.

    Pass me a brown bag.

    Lo x

  10. #39
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    I absolutely love your writing style by the way!

    I love autumn. It's my favorite time of year. Christmas is my favorite holiday (my husband literally has to lock me away from my 25 boxes of Christmas decorations because by Sept I'm ready to decorate!) I was burning a pumpkin spice candle last night and I just can't wait for those chilly autumn nights!

  11. #40
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by OptomisticGirl
    I absolutely love your writing style by the way!

    I love autumn. It's my favorite time of year. Christmas is my favorite holiday (my husband literally has to lock me away from my 25 boxes of Christmas decorations because by Sept I'm ready to decorate!) I was burning a pumpkin spice candle last night and I just can't wait for those chilly autumn nights!
    Me too!.....

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