Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 37 of 37 FirstFirst ... 34353637
Results 361 to 366 of 366

Thread: Diary Of A Redhead

  1. #361
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,931
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by mylolita
    Today wasn't so bad. She didn't do anything wrong really. Maybe it brought up some past memories, or maybe I was just angry all over again with myself because, I knew deep down this wasn't working. I kept thinking, another one bits the dust.
    It really could have been nothing. She may have simply not felt up to meeting that day.

    I don't mean to diminish your feelings, but sometimes painful memories distort current situations.

    This phenomenon was vividly illustrated for me about 10 years ago (gasp).

    I tell the following story a lot, actually.

    In my journal, you may have come across the anecdote about my mom and the Christmas tree. This is not that story, but it is related.

    When my sister and I were growing up, my mom had a very unpredictable temper and the slightest thing could set her off. Life in that house was like living on a roller coaster. We learned to be ready for disaster at every moment.

    It became my understanding of basic human interaction: You should know the right thing to do without being told what it is. In fact, 'the right thing to do' will be hidden from you at all times. Bottom line is, you are going to f*ck up and cause problems. Don't bother trying to understand. It is completely unpredictable.

    I had no other baseline.

    Fast forward to my early 30s, when I started graduate school. I stayed at my uncle's house for long periods of time, because he lived close to my college. He and my aunt lived a laid back sort of life. Very different from my mom's modus operandi. I figured it was only a matter of time before someone's underlying anger bubbled to the surface. I had my aunt pegged for the insane one.

    But she wasn't insane at all. It took me two years to realize it. The way it happened was, she was setting up the fake, pre-lit Christmas tree. She discovered, in my presence, that the lights on one of the segments didn't work.

    In my mom's house, this would have triggered an eruption.

    So, I reacted to my aunt's discovery in the same way I would have reacted in my mom's house: total panic mode.

    I don't actually remember what my exact reaction was. What I do remember is my aunt looking at me in a faintly disapproving way, like "what is she going on about?", then taking up the scissors and peacefully cutting the defective lights away from the fake branches.

    Meanwhile, I stood there, heart racing, but thinking. In my childhood home, this would have been the apocalypse. Therefore, in the current setting, how could it be anything but?

    I slowly understood that this wasn't a disaster scenario. It was just light on a fake tree. I realized that I KNEW it. I'd always known that the drama was just B.S. But it felt so good to see it illustrated for me, by someone else--however inadvertently.

    Anyway, moral of the story is: based on my past experience I thought the situation was more of a disaster than it actually was. I discovered that my perception was actually very biased. But once I recognized the existence of my bias, it was extremely liberating.

  2. #362
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,413
    Gender
    Male
    How are you lolita? It's been a while. Did you give birth? :)

  3. #363
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,931
    Gender
    Female
    I saw this and thought she might have posted! Alas, she did not.

    Hope you're well, Lolita.

  4. #364
    Gold Member mylolita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    580
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by dias
    How are you lolita? It's been a while. Did you give birth? :)
    Dias!

    Hello! Oh my God, I kept meaning to write on here but honestly I hardly had any time and when I did, I just ended up not feeling much like it. Lots happened! Will go into it I'm sure if anyone would even care to know ;)

    I had the cutest baby girl on the 11th September! I can't believe she is 8 months old now. Time is going faaaarrr too fast.

    Lo x

  5.  

  6. #365
    Gold Member mylolita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    580
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I saw this and thought she might have posted! Alas, she did not.

    Hope you're well, Lolita.
    Jibralta!

    I missed you so! I always wondered - what is the meaning or reason for choosing your username? I always thought it was cool and I always wanted to know!

    And very well thank you darling! How are you through all this madness?

    Lo x

  7. #366
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    4,931
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by mylolita
    I always wondered - what is the meaning or reason for choosing your username? I always thought it was cool and I always wanted to know!
    No particular meaning or reason, I just liked the sound of the name "Gibraltar" and went with it.

    I do associate it with the movie, Bram Stoker's Dracula (which should really be called Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula). That movie came out when I was 15, and became one of my favorite movies for a long time.

    Anthony Hopkins narrates intermittently throughout, and there is a part where he states that Dracula's gypsies have sailed around the Rock of Gibraltar... I think that might be where I first heard the name. Or at least it's where I learned that "Gibraltar" referred to a rock in a sea somewhere that had to be reckoned with....

    At any rate, it stuck in my head and eventually metamorphosized into a name.

    Coincidentally, my boyfriend suggested we watch Bram Stoker's Dracula the other night. We just wrapped it up last night, actually. It has its share of bad acting and atrocious accents, but overall I still love it to pieces. I still have the whole thing committed to memory.

    Originally Posted by mylolita
    How are you through all this madness?
    Quite well, actually. Enjoying a peaceful lull between jobs.

    How is your new baby?

    My aunt once said, "One is one, two is twenty." Do you find that to be the case?
    Last edited by Jibralta; 05-20-2020 at 03:10 PM.

Page 37 of 37 FirstFirst ... 34353637

Videos


What Does Betrayal Do To Relationships?

What Is Good To Know About The First Date

Online Dating Websites Most Frequently Used By Older Adults

Blogging Helps New Moms Handle Parental Stress

What Do Men And Women Want In A Relationship?

Benefits Of Online Education
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •