Diary Of A Redhead

[mylolita]

Spent my whole Sunday from about 11am helping our friends Sar and C move out of their apartment.

Cleaning, sorting, chucking - grafting! It's been kind of relaxing in a weird way! I feel really productive. Makes a change from my three days moping and slobbing about our apartment from coming back from our honeymoon. D must feel like I've slipped into the typical, boring wife everyone jokes about. Uh oh. Gotta get myself out of this moody slump, it's not good for me or him. He's so understanding though, very supportive but he tells me when I'm being an idiot. It's good for me, I don't need people constantly cutting me slack and saying 'aww' and 'poor you', it's no good for anyone who wants to move on.

Why is moving on and changing so hard?! Are we all really creatures of eternal habit?!

All this sorting out has made me want to clean out my wardrobe and get everything ready for next weekend. Because Sar is still staying where her job is (45 minutes away), and C is moving back in with his mum, we told them they could stay at ours any weekend they wanted if they needed some space as a couple away from parents. We'd make them up a spare room and leave them a key to our apartment and let them go and come as they want. I'd cook them breakfast and do all that hostess stuff I love because really, I'm a trapped 50's housewife in this 24 year old body.

I'm getting excited at the thought of making the study ready for them to stay whenever they want! Eeep! A vase of flowers, a decanter for some water on the night, a jar with a candle in, towels on the bed and washed dressing gowns hanging on the back of the door! I'm such a geek! GEEKING OUT OVER GUESTS!!! So sad.

Secretly browsing the web for small, cheap sofa beds mwahaha! D does not know this, oops!

What happened to saving money for a deposit? Creature of habit?! A tiger never changes his stripes and all that.

Scheming and planning.

Yours truly,
Lo x

[mylolita]

Busy day ahead, got to do the social round amongst family.

First stop is going to see D's gran who is 97 today! What a corker! She still lives by herself in her own home, an incredible woman. Must stop by and see Nic from the florists on the high street and get Gran a nice bouquet.

Secondly, I must see both my grandma and then my dad's mum and dad who will want to coo over wedding pictures. Note to self, buy them both a bouquet of tulips.

I can see myself writing thank you cards until the early morning.

Oh and tonight I have to face my sister because it was both my dad's and my mum's birthdays while we were away on our honeymoon. Now that's going to go down well.

I caved into my immature side and made a massive, bold step to remove all negativity from my life. I deleted her off Facebook! Oh my god! Heart was racing when I pressed the 'yes' button. I couldn't be bothered with her snide digs via that stupid social media network and all her self obsession! It feels great actually. But then I got a text from her late last night saying how come I just wanted to hurt her all the time and that no matter how much I wanted to push her away she would always love me. Yeah. Right. Typical emotional BS! Classic sister!

I'll answer all her questions tonight. I predict a riot!

Stomach in knots but no time to wallow - too much to do.

Lo x

[OptomisticGirl]

Isn't it thrilling to take negativity out of your life? I didn't take my sister off my FB but I blocked her. I'm sure she knows I blocked her but she has yet to say anything!

[happy_snapper]

But then I got a text from her late last night saying how come I just wanted to hurt her all the time and that no matter how much I wanted to push her away she would always love me.

So she was a little **** at your wedding, but it's only because you're such a meany all the time...

Classic narcissism. And you know what, she probably believes it too. I've met people like that, they really do believe that everybody's picking on them.

[mylolita]

Isn't it thrilling to take negativity out of your life? I didn't take my sister off my FB but I blocked her. I'm sure she knows I blocked her but she has yet to say anything!

Hey Optimistic,

It really is! I woke up this morning feeling so refreshed! The thought of her and her drama was just this massive weight hanging over me. It was making me moody and D really noticed a difference. I'm supposed to be enjoying life and looking forward to a fresh start.

I can completely relate to you on that one! Facebook is this awful minefield when it comes to fall outs, especially family ones!

I hope you and your sister's relationship gets better. Thanks for all your support, I really appreciate it

x

[mylolita]

So she was a little **** at your wedding, but it's only because you're such a meany all the time...

Classic narcissism. And you know what, she probably believes it too. I've met people like that, they really do believe that everybody's picking on them.

Aw thanks Peter!

I'm so glad you understand this behaviour, it's been a real shock to me even though deep down I know she's always been like this. I presumed for one day she'd be able to respect my wishes but obviously not, grr!

I hope everything's looking up with your search for love, I read your journal all the time!

x

[mylolita]

The bomb hit and I survived!

Feeling revived and on track! Finally, I feel so great to have faced my sister and confronted her! I have her out of my life for a while just so I can breathe and enjoy being here!

It's crazy, but we just slug on keeping all these negative people in our lives because they've always been there or we feel we have to. Even if it's your family, the courage is hard to muster, but you must take a stand even if it's just for your own peace of mind.

Simply, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done and I was a nervous wreck all day, but facing her in our old bedroom we used to share for 18 years together was liberating. I've changed, she's changed, life moves fast and I'm not going to stop so she can hold me back and dog me down with her emotional blackmail and manipulation. I swear, it's been too long and a long time coming! See ya later!

I'm feeling a productive, happy surge, so I'm gonna jump on the wave and get off the laptop. I want to re-organise our bedroom and give everything a fluff and a spruce. D wants to hit the gym tonight, mainly the pool, jacuzzi and steam room.

Can I surprise myself anymore and say I'm feeling okay about having to drag my a** into work tomorrow after my long break? It's okay. Positives, focus on the positives! ARGH! Haha!

Listening to Ashanti and Ja Rule - 'Always On Time' - a bit of old school happiness. I'm a fan of chilled R'n'B. Guilty pleasures and all that.

Tuesdays aren't that bad after all.

x

[OptomisticGirl]

Hey Optimistic,

It really is! I woke up this morning feeling so refreshed! The thought of her and her drama was just this massive weight hanging over me. It was making me moody and D really noticed a difference. I'm supposed to be enjoying life and looking forward to a fresh start.

I can completely relate to you on that one! Facebook is this awful minefield when it comes to fall outs, especially family ones!

I hope you and your sister's relationship gets better. Thanks for all your support, I really appreciate it

x

Our relationship will get better when she starts acting like an adult, and more importantly a mother. There's a lot she's done that has negatively impacted my 4 year old nephew and I can't easily forgive that.

Hopefully with some time apart your sister will realize the error of her ways as well!

[~Seraphim ~]

All I can say is I'm happy I have a brother. It seems siblings of the same-sex have more troubles getting along.

[mylolita]

Hey Optimisitc - I feel exactly the same way about mine. It's like they're young teenagers or worse, there's no maturity there.

All I can say is I'm happy I have a brother. It seems siblings of the same-sex have more troubles getting along.

I have heard this Victoria! I think I'd get along with a brother more! Sometimes I think siblings of the same sex can horde resentment and jealousy. I know my sister always used to compare herself to me and others, she probably wouldn't have done that if I were a guy. Glad to hear you get on

x