How do you know when it's time? :(

I am struggling so hard with this right now, and I need some advice badly.

It's about my little dachshund mix. I've had him since he was for weeks old; he'll be sixteen years old in August. We have been inseparable from day one. We even have the same birthday! I love him so much. He means the world to me and I would do anything for him.

Over the past five years, his health has (naturally) declined with age. He developed arthritis and has gone completely deaf. He stopped wanting to go on long walks anymore. He couldn't get up on bed at night, so I got rid of my box spring and frame, and the mattress is now on the floor. Once in blue moon he would fall over. I was sad to see the decline but I had no problems adjusting to meet his needs.

Two months ago, he started peering in house, and falling over more frequently. He also didn't want to eat his kibble anymore. I bought him diapers to wear in house at night and when I'm home. I bought baby gates and an extra dog bed to keep him confined to the kitchen when I'm not home. He loves the cat kibble, so I just started feeding him that (although I went out and bought him wet dog food - so his meals now consist of dry cat food/wet dog food). I took him to the vet, vet said he looked fine and put him on anti-inflammatory/pain meds. Seemed to be helping.

This past Sunday, he started going up to walls/doors and just standing infront of them, doing nothing. Just standing there with his head against the wall. He falls over a lot now. Or his back legs will collapse so that he ends up unintentionally sitting. He can't pick his feet up to step over things. I took him the vet yesterday, and he said the wall thing was a very bad sign. He said things are not going to improve at this point.

On one hand, he hasn't lost his appetite yet, and still gets excited for food. He's not crying yet either. On the other hand, I'm now sleeping on the floor (on a pile of layered blankets) with him as he even falls off the mattress now. I have to carry him to go to the bathroom outside as he doesn't want to walk. I'm up all night with him... He gets "stuck" places and can't get out. Last night I was up with him at midnight, then 2:00 am, then 5:00 am, and finally got up at 8:30 am. I'm exhausted.

His quality of life has obviously declined. I certainly don't want to prolong his suffering in any way - I want to let go when its time. I don't want to hold on unnecessarily. But what is the cutoff?? Is it when they can't walk? Is it when they lose their appetite? Or is it when they are audibly in pain crying? I have never had to make this decision before and it's breaking my heart. I am a wreck right now.

It is time when they have no quality and enjoyment of life. You know animals can get dementia as well right? When their very low quality of life is seriously impairing your quality-of-life it is time to let go. Letting go and putting them gently to sleep is not about being a horrible person it is about being a very kind person. It is the final very loving act you can do for your animal friend.

I think it is time to let go of your sweet dog. He knows very well that you love him.

About a month ago we had to put our cat to sleep as he had cancer. It really hurt me a lot and I felt like a bad person but I began to realize that it was the kindest thing for him.

We had him cremated and his ashes returned and now he holds a place of honour in my son's room.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Last year, my sheltie who was also 16 was doing the EXACT same thing. She would fall over, and wouldn't be able to get herself back up. She'd go up to walls, corners and just zone out and stare. She was also deaf. I took her to the vet and they did a neurological exam and she passed it fine. But three weeks later, in the early morning, I heard her crying out in the living room. She had fallen over and couldn't get herself back up. When I picked her up and put her upright on the floor, she couldn't stand. Her back legs had given out on her. I rushed her to the vet and they said she had a stroke. That was when I knew it was time. When I saw her helpless like that, I knew that as much as it was going to be painful to do, I had her put to sleep. There does come a time when we inherently know when our much loved pet is suffering more than necessary and we know when it's time to put them to rest. She went to sleep in my arms cuddled up on her favorite pillow. It was beautifully sad. I hope you get that same clarity for your own pet. I know it's difficult, but it's done with such love and honor. Take good care of yourself and enjoy the time you have left to it's fullest.

Thank you - you're always so helpful. I'm so sorry about Mr Spots. (((())))

I called the vet late yesterday and made the appointment for Tuesday. Of course, today he is acting unusually bouncy and energetic, so I'm feeling horrible right now. On top of all this, I woke up really sick today - I'm pretty sure it's the beginning stages of bronchitis. So I can barely get out of bed myself. NOT the way I wanted to spend his last weekend... I'm wondering if I should delay it so that I can actually spend a weekend with him, healthy? What a nightmare!

I never thought about animals getting dementia before this happened, but of course it makes sense that they can. This slow decline is awful.

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your sweet sheltie! ((()))

I really like what you said about doing this with love and honor. I am trying so hard to look at it that way. Thank you for your thoughts.

Thank you - you're always so helpful. I'm so sorry about Mr Spots. (((())))

 

I called the vet late yesterday and made the appointment for Tuesday. Of course, today he is acting unusually bouncy and energetic, so I'm feeling horrible right now. On top of all this, I woke up really sick today - I'm pretty sure it's the beginning stages of bronchitis. So I can barely get out of bed myself. NOT the way I wanted to spend his last weekend... I'm wondering if I should delay it so that I can actually spend a weekend with him, healthy? What a nightmare!

 

I never thought about animals getting dementia before this happened, but of course it makes sense that they can. This slow decline is awful.

 

I would keep your appointment if I were you. We booked our appointment for two weeks away and I found it was really intolerable. The waiting is far worse than the act itself. After the initial grieving you will find that there is relief that your little friend is not suffering anymore.

 

I know it seems like he is going to rebound and be healthy but that's often not the case. It is just like elderly people who are dying a lot of them revive for just one day it seems. I know this with many elderly people they will be dying and have reverted back to a state where they believe they are a child and they talk to their siblings and their parents and they will be generally lost in another world. Then for a day it will seem like they're totally in reality know everybody around them and like they are going to get better. Then in 24 to 48 hours they are dead. It is like that last rally is their last celebration of their life. Try not to mistake that for getting better.

 

Hugs.

I know you're right, but I postponed it.

What makes this whole thing worse is that people are stopping by to see him, and he can still work up energy while we have company. Then later he goes right back to falling over and what not - but nobody is seeing that so people keep asking me if I'm sure it's time. Which is really making me second guess myself. I see him like that and I get hopeful too, that maybe there's another month in there.

But case in point what they don't see: it's almost 4:00 am here and I've been up with him for almost two hours now. He's thrown up twice, fallen over twice, and had to go to the bathroom once.

Honey he is suffering. Don't keep him around just for yourself.

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Hi OP, I can so relate to your pain and sadness. I am in the same place with a 17 year old cat. She is also deaf and started to have difficulty walking caused by a tumour pressing on her left shoulder. Could be benign, could be malignant.. Not sure and she is too old for a biopsy. She manages on three legs and even can jump on the bed still, but I see the energy fading away. She does eat and drink and sleep and can go to the litter box, but she has difficulties getting out so she often ends up sitting in the litter box. When I get her out she doesnt protest a lot, and starts eating when I present food immediately. With my other four cats I postponed the decision until they no longer had appetite. That seemed like a good limit. One of them did have appetite BUT kept falling over likely caused by brain tumour but not sure.. So I had him put to sleep also.

But I can really feel for you, it has been the most difficult decisions in my life! I can only hope you and I can get some clarity on what to do and make the right decision. I wish you the best!

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It looks like I will have to make a decision some time soon as well with my 15 year old cat Topher, her shoulders are bothering her more and more and she is in pain at times. She always was as graceful as a sack of potatoes and the constant jarring from jumping up and down are catching up with her. I'm pretty fortunate that I have a friend who is a vet who would come to my home to give her a shot. Still sad though.

OP, I rarely post but had to since Im in a very similar position as you. I also am a graduating veterinary student and felt compelled to help.

I also have a 16 year old german shepherd, in this last year and a half he went from being just fine on his own to nearly deaf, severe arthritis, etc.

A couple of options I want to suggest to you before you decide are the right combination(s) of treatments before you realize euthanasia is in fact the best option. On top of NSAID's and pain medicine, there are a few things you can do.

Cold laser therapy is a new and extremely inexpensive treatment that heals joint pain dramatically. It does wonders for a lot of dogs. It's about $20-30 per session and you only have to go two times a week for a month then once a month. You may have to call a few vet clinics and see who has this machine, about 1 in 5 practices do and it does wonders for humans and animals alike.

There is also adequan canine, an injectable solution which lubricates joints. This is somewhat more expensive at $60 a bottle, but I have been giving these shots for a while.

Lastly, I like the combination of Tramadol (pain killer) + Gabapentin (a neurological pain killer), and an NSAID once every 3 days. I feel this is extremely effective in improving the quality of their lives.

Without this combination, my dog would have been 'down' a year ago. But luckily it has him going on strong. I suggest this combination.

Finally, I asked my experienced veterinary friends what they thought. They told me its time to put them down when they can no longer get up AT ALL (not after a few attempts but at all), and when they cant sleep from pain at nights.

As long as they're sleeping+eating and can get up, you're good to go.

Best of luck, as we're both in this together.