Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 42

Thread: My boyfriend is flip-flopping DAILY on the idea of having children! HELP :(

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    9
    Originally Posted by Victoria66
    You know anxiety can be treated with medication and therapy right? He should invest in that. My husband has had since GAD since childhood . His early adult life was an unmitigated disaster. With therapy and medication and a huge influx of confidence he has no anxiety at all now. Your bf NEEDS to do this BEFORE children. My husband lost 11 years of his son's life by being so anxiety ridden he could not even but barely communicate with his own son.
    What medication is your husband on? My boyfriend definitely needs help and is willing to try, but he is terrified (anxiety again) of becoming addicted to anti-anxiety meds.

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    9
    Originally Posted by Victoria66
    EXACTLY! You can NEVER love anyone better. Ever. My mother tried that for decades with my mentally ill dad . I tried for 15 years with my husband. What only mattered was when HE wanted to be better . HE had to want to get better . We are lucky he made that decision. So we are still together and father and son now have a loving relationship and do him and I .
    It's not that I am trying to 'love' him better, I love him just as he is and I always will. My boyfriend wants desperately to fix his own life, and has been doing a really good job. In fact, this desire to fix his life may be part of why he's afraid to have children. He could be terrified that they may derail his efforts. Perhaps I have been unfair to push him. My hormones are screaming at me, but like I've said before, I don't simply want a baby, I want his baby. Maybe I will just have to wait until he's a little further along in the healing process to really bring it up.

  3. #23
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,822
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by dasanisun
    What medication is your husband on? My boyfriend definitely needs help and is willing to try, but he is terrified (anxiety again) of becoming addicted to anti-anxiety meds.
    Well yes, they need to be taken daily. My husband has been taking Zoloft every day for 8 years. He does awesome, fully functional and no anxiety whatsoever. But he also has a career that he loves, lives in a place that he likes and does copious amounts of exercise.

    And just so you know ahead of time you can't just one day decide not to take the medication. These medications if you want to stop taking them you must see a doctor and follow weaning schedule. If you cold turkey you can become homicidal or suicidal. To mention if you cold turkey you feel like crud.

    But if someone has anxiety that so crippling that their flip-flopping from day today heck I would give medication a try. It always works best in conjunction with therapy though.

  4. #24
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,822
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by dasanisun
    It's not that I am trying to 'love' him better, I love him just as he is and I always will. My boyfriend wants desperately to fix his own life, and has been doing a really good job. In fact, this desire to fix his life may be part of why he's afraid to have children. He could be terrified that they may derail his efforts. Perhaps I have been unfair to push him. My hormones are screaming at me, but like I've said before, I don't simply want a baby, I want his baby. Maybe I will just have to wait until he's a little further along in the healing process to really bring it up.
    Also be aware that depression and anxiety is also inherited. Plus you can also teach your child anxiety if you're very anxious person.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    9
    Originally Posted by Victoria66
    Also be aware that depression and anxiety is also inherited. Plus you can also teach your child anxiety if you're very anxious person.
    I understand that anxiety and depression can be inherited, but I suffer from neither and I suspect a lot of his anxiety was taught to him by his mother. His parents attitude toward his mental problems growing up were pretty disconnected. His mom babied him and fed his anxiety while his father told him to man-up and stop worrying so much. They weren't great parents.

    Regarding the medication, he's taken zoloft before but became addicted to it; I don't know the details but he doesn't say many positive things about his experience with it. I might suggest, though, that he try taking a low dose of Klonopin to see if that eases some of his concerns. Thanks for the information! It's encouraging to know that there is help out there for GAD that works.

  7. #26
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,822
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by dasanisun
    I understand that anxiety and depression can be inherited, but I suffer from neither and I suspect a lot of his anxiety was taught to him by his mother. His parents attitude toward his mental problems growing up were pretty disconnected. His mom babied him and fed his anxiety while his father told him to man-up and stop worrying so much. They weren't great parents.

    Regarding the medication, he's taken zoloft before but became addicted to it; I don't know the details but he doesn't say many positive things about his experience with it. I might suggest, though, that he try taking a low dose of Klonopin to see if that eases some of his concerns. Thanks for the information! It's encouraging to know that there is help out there for GAD that works.
    You're confusing dependence with addiction they are not the same thing at all. Talk to a doctor about the difference between dependence and addiction. And if somebody needs medication to be able to get through life what is wrong with that? If medication makes you functional and happy that should be a good reason to take it. Is your boyfriend super happy the way he is right now I would bet not.

  8. #27
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,822
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by dasanisun
    I understand that anxiety and depression can be inherited, but I suffer from neither and I suspect a lot of his anxiety was taught to him by his mother. His parents attitude toward his mental problems growing up were pretty disconnected. His mom babied him and fed his anxiety while his father told him to man-up and stop worrying so much. They weren't great parents.

    Regarding the medication, he's taken zoloft before but became addicted to it; I don't know the details but he doesn't say many positive things about his experience with it. I might suggest, though, that he try taking a low dose of Klonopin to see if that eases some of his concerns. Thanks for the information! It's encouraging to know that there is help out there for GAD that works.
    And if you want to talk about dependency try Klonopin . I took Klonopin for year because I've PTSD. Now there's a nasty drug to come off of. The weaning schedule took me three months and I was on a very tiny dose. If you ask me benzo's are far more harsh than an SSRI.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6,739
    Right, if you're taking a medication for the right reason's you will not become addicted to it.
    Last edited by SooSad33; 05-16-2014 at 04:26 PM. Reason: worded it wrong

  10. #29
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Age
    39
    Posts
    46,959
    I've taken lexapro for GAD with good results.

  11. #30
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,822
    Gender
    Female
    A lot of times too people don't take their SSRI long enough for it to accumulate in the system and make a difference. Minimum 6 to 8 weeks to build up enough in the system to make a difference. And also six to 8 weeks for the tiredness to wear off and you become more or less your normal energy level again.

    And dependence is not addiction!

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •