My boyfriend is texting escorts......is it cheating?

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years. I lived with him for one and have been in university for the past 3 years. My university is three hours away so I get to see him most weekends. We built a house together 4 months ago and he has been living in it while I have been away at school. In 3 weeks, I will be done school and I have a job lined up where he is. Last week we were sitting on the couch (having a fantastic evening) when he received an email from a kelly on his phone. In a joking manner i said, haha who's kelly. He said it's a guy he has been trying to get work from (he works in sales). However, once he opened the email it was a whole bunch of pictures of a semi-naked girl. He said and quickly deleted it. I started laughing (thinking he had been hacked) and asked him to open it back up to read (so we could have a laugh). However the email was nowhere to be found (not even in the trash??). I saw him later and he his hands were shaking, so I became suspicious. I asked him if there was something going on, to which he looked me in the eye and swore on everyone he loves life nothing was going on. The next morning, while he was in the shower, I looked through his phone and saw he had been texting an escort service earlier that week (he was out with work guys and a potential customer). He had told the escort where we lived (not exact address, but area) and if she could come out there. The text ended with him saying "Sorry babe, I'm out for the night. Maybe a nooner."

I confronted him and he said it was purely for excitement and he was out with the customer who wanted to do that stuff. The customer did not want to use his own phone so he used my boyfriends.

I asked about asking the escort to come out to our house and he said the customer did it as a funny joke.

Now, our sex life has been a bit on the rocks. I initiate sex every time or leave sexy little clues around for him to find. He always says he's too tired or will say "Oh man, im so tired, as soon as my head hits the pillow im out." Okay I get the point, you dont want to do it.

But thats what scares me.....why does he not want to do it with me? He says he thought i never wanted to do it and how he had no idea how to bring it up.

He said he wants to work on it and admits to having a problem. He said he has been contacting them for the last 6 months, only when out with others and when he is drunk but only text message. He says he never meets up with them and would never touch another women except me. He said he is not a cheater and its only for excitement, as he masturbates to their pictures when I am away at school. He said has only contacted them twice in the last 6 months with text.

So his stories are a little vague and don't add up. He wants to work on it, but am I just wasting my time with someone who has a bigger problem or has done more then he is sharing? No matter how many times I ask for the truth, he says he didn't do anything with them physically.

What should I do?

You are wasting your time and he is shoveling crap faster than a back hoe.

Would he have followed through on his "nooner" if you had not caught him?

And if he did follow through with it, would you still want to be with him?

Answer those questions and you'll figure out what to do in a hurry.

No he said the customer had wrote the nooner and he would never do that.

if it was him, then NO! I would kick his ass to the curb....I just don't know if it was him or the customer??

He said he wants to work on it and admits to having a problem. He said he has been contacting them for the last 6 months, only when out with others and when he is drunk but only text message. He says he never meets up with them and would never touch another women except me. He said he is not a cheater and its only for excitement, as he masturbates to their pictures when I am away at school. He said has only contacted them twice in the last 6 months with text.

Well the first sentence contradicts the last sentence.

Look, you already know what he's doing. It's up to you whether you want to risk catching something nasty from him because of his shenangins.

Escorts do not text guys for giggles. They have had contact.

Please stop believing his lies. He is cheating on you and from the sounds of it, has been for a while.

Don't believe for a minute that it's all a client's fault. He's painting a picture where he was perfect innocent and the client played "keep away" with his phone and texted a hooker from there. If it was really innocent, he should have told you about it already. The fact that he said Kelly is a guy and it's for work and you've seen he's already lied about that...You've gotta see the red flags everywhere. He is good at lying to you. I say this because you seem to believe him, and it concerns me. You deserve better.

In addition...if this is just for fun and pictures...why did he give directions to the general area of the house?

Absolutely and completely a dumpworthy offense.

The second you hear your partner is messing with escorts, you run away and immediately go to the doctor to get tested to save your health.

And of course he's a cheater. He is totally and completely busted and is just trying to convince you you didn't discover what you just discovered.

Men who have a taste for escorts usually don't change... they have serious issues to be chasing these kinds of girls when they have a willing partner and turn her away in preference for a 'working girl.'

Yeah he said it was the client who gave the general directions to the area of the house and did it as a sick/funny joke.

Sorry, but this guy's a liar and a cheater.

Haha, he just masturbates to their pictures. Funny. Look, if it was just masturbation, he could get a dirty magazine or an adult DVD or something and that would do the job. And pornography isn't cheating. But that's not what he's doing, because with porn alone, you don't contact anyone. He's texting escorts. And most likely screwing escorts. Not cool.

Then there's the matter of him not being into having sex with you. Now I don't know about the other guys out there, but if my girlfriend was away all week, I wouldn't need to be asked twice to make love to her when she came back home each weekend. The fact that he wasn't interested in making love to you speaks volumes, and when you combine that with the rest of the story, it is obvious that he is getting his rocks off elsewhere.

You deserve better, and I'm sure you'll find someone better. But the first step is getting this liar out of your life.

The only sick joke is being played on you.

Please get tested for STD's....this has been going on for the duration.

Yeah he said it was the client who gave the general directions to the area of the house and did it as a sick/funny joke.[/quote

 

Bahahaha.......Not one person here buys that story, not one.

yeah, i don't buy that the client texted the escort as a joke. no way.

i agree that there's a problem if he has a willing gf, and he's turning to escorts. I think you may need to find a new place to live when you move.