"'Forgetting" special occasions???

Looking for honest opinions about an internal conflict of mine.

So my BF and I have been together for 4 years now. Every year prior to this one he has mostly been good with organising gifts for me on special occasions (bday, Xmas, Mother's Day). However this Christmas and Mothers Day he has "forgotten" or my feeling 'just hasn't bothered' to organise something for me. He has however, had his mother step in for the rescue and supplied him a gift for him to give me at late notice.

Now I will be honest and please note this bit is kind of a vent. I am really pissed off with him because I feel a gift should come from him. Not have his mum step in and rescue his arse because he screwed up. And to top it off. The belated Mother's Day gift he's apparently organised, is something we had already organised to receive a few weeks ago which I knew was on its way. I feel I am taking this quite personally because I feel that his lack of effort is a reflection of his actually feelings/thoughts towards me. That I'm no longer worth the effort.

**Also I do understand that Mother's Day is a bit much to be annoyed over. After all the gifts are to come from the children. But in my defence (tell me if I'm wrong) but he has set the precedence by going out of his way to have gifts organised in previous years.

You are overreacting. He forgot one gift and you are so pissed at him???

Lerenard - thank u for your honesty. I do appreciate it. Is it still an over reaction if this is the second time. He also "forgot" Christmas time as well??

I count Christmas as one. Mothers day - your kids should give you presents, he should give one to his mom. Point.

I think if you will give him rage outbursts like that each time he wont do something like YOU thought it should be done - you will be soon be single. But that just me, I never understood why so many women expect their men to give them gifts every freaking calendar holiday? And I am a woman myself, you know! If he brings you flowers once in a while - be happy! If you want something in particular - go and buy it yourself.

I think depending on the kids ages, the dad should buy a Mother's Day present for the mom.

My ex and I continued to buy presents for each other (even though we weren't together) from our daughter until this year...she's almost 6 and she makes presents for us now.

I had a bf (not the dad) that bought me a Mother's Day present one time...it was really sweet and completely unexpected.

I am from Europe and I never heard about boyfriends buying presents for Mothers Day for their girlfriends, sorry.

Do you even have kids with him, OP?

If he is your husband and you have kids together - maybe you can expect gift from him so much that you will be pissed if he wont give you one, but not in any other case, IMHO.

And again, in my opinion - special occasion is your anniversary or your birthday or something like that. Mothers day is a special occasion for mothers and grandmothers, at least where I live.

OK OK!! I accept its me being overreactive. He has one child. I have two children. We co-parent them together. The youngest is 2.

Another one for it's completely unreasonable to expect gifts on Mother's Day from a boyfriend. As for your comment about he set a precedent....it's a bit like you give an inch they take a mile situation. It might be a good idea to reign in your expectations.

The Christmas thing is different and perhaps something you should have talked to him about. Not in the "I expect presents" tone, but maybe more of an "is there something wrong with us" kind of tone. There could be multiple issues, such as no fun getting gifts for someone who is entitled and ungrateful about them or could be just a simple oversight due to other stress factors or could be that the relationship is getting maybe too comfortable, etc. Basically, outside of gifts, how are things between you? Maybe focus more on that.

My belief is it's less important about how specific dates that tell us to do stuff and more important how he treats you on the day-to-day when there isn't an "occasion" to do anything. If he makes you feel special on a day-to-day then who cares about Mother's day or Christmas.

Now if you feel UNspecial all the time, and then he misses those days as well...then you got a problem on your hands.

I wouldn't worry about the Mother's Day thing. But if Christmas gifts are important to you, talk to him about it. You may need to give him a list of what you want prior.

I wouldn't worry about Mother's Day, but I stand for "effort is the best indicator of interest". Christmas,Birthdays, etc. are quite important to me, so I understand your concern. I have been in relationships which my boyfriends 'forgot' to buy me a gift and not long after we split up.. of course it wasn't a a reason why it happened, just saying that if someone stopped making the effort (to keep you happy) its usually a red flag, IMO.