Why would an ex who left you purposely flaunt the new person?

I don't understand this? They know that you are already hurting enough as it is yet they flaunt the new person and rub it in your face as if to destroy you? What's the reasoning to doing this to someone who hasn't even given you a reason to?

My ex girlfriend had reached out to me early February of this year after 5 months of no contact from which was only when I told her never to see me again. I had gone off and on the no contact thing ever since she left me for another guy back in OCT 2011. She always was the one to initiate, and I was always the one to get pissed at her again and go back to no contact, which would normally not last longer than periods of 6 months (usually 3) until she would reach out again. Anyway, this last time she contacted me I was a little surprised because had never expected to hear from her again after basically telling her to fxck off because I was completely done wit being disappointed by her. I was a little reluctant at first about letting her back in, but she kept apologizing for everything. At this point she was single and finally done with her ex who she left me for who pretty much left her. I fully intended to keep whatever came from this as being friends, but we ended up texting each other every single day, and I had started falling for her yet again; as if that was her only goal because she would continuously coax me. Everything really seemed great and like she was really interested in me. We were acting just like a normal couple. However, in late February she had traveled abroad to London for her school's study abroad program and isn't be due to come back until this May. This is where things get messed up. The whole beginning and middle of this March was even greater in terms of how interested in me she seemed, but then just this weekend she took a trip to Paris, France. The day she was to leave she said to promise that I would take her there and I said I would. Everything was still great up till this point. Come last Sunday when she gets back to London though, she tweets about another guy she met in Paris that she apparently started to fall for.. "um so I sorta kinda fell for this guy in paris & apparently hes a semi-famous rapper here in london. no. big. ing. deal." "& hes coming home early to london so he can see me again before I leave for the states

I think you know now what you need to do.

BLOCK HER!!!!!!!!! and get on with your life. Quit trippin' off of her. It's not like you don't know what she's capable of now. There is no reason under the sun to continue dealing with her unless you just love confusion and are addicted to drama.

People with good to great self esteem don't do things like this.

She's constantly trying to "win".

Get rid of this negative influence in your life unless you like the drama.

Sloan, I definitely understand your position as something similar just happened to me. I texted back and forth with my ex GF and then boom; FB pictures of her and new boyfriend shortly after. I know many will say she's free to put out whatever she wants on social media, it's for her friends and family, blah, blah, blah. But, I agree with you, putting information out like this she KNOWS you will see is hurtful and rude. She knows you will see it and thinks either: He doesn't care about me and I want to show him I've moved on or she's being purposely hurtful. I like to use the rule, if the roles were reversed would I do the same? You would not right? I bet if you look at your relationship with her and asked yourself this question, there's a repeating pattern of rude behavior or self centered thinking. Hard to have a relationship with someone like this, sounds like NC is the way to go. Don't let this girl keep messing with your head.

It could be that this is her own way of dealing with breakup feelings - she's broadcasting having moved on when she hasn't actually as a way of forcing herself to move on. She could also be fairly young (early twenties or younger) and may still be learning about appropriate behaviour post-breakup.

Either way, stay clear and avoid her on social media or other outlets.

At the end of the day, each person is responsible for the hell they CHOOSE to put themselves through by trying to hold on to someone who has not/will not declare for them.

Ex's are ex's for a reason and it's really important to remember exactly why they are you ex. They didn't want to work things out with you; they didn't want to stick with you; they wanted someone else more than you; they didn't want you. Anytime an ex returns, they should be treated with suspicion, not welcomed in with open arms when they have done nothing to prove they're worth letting in. Generally speaking, all they're doing is looking for someone to fall back on and they've decided you can help them get through this bad stretch of road they're on with the person they really want to be with.

This girl is free to post whatever she wants; OP is also as free to block her and change his settings to exclude anyone who is friends with her so he can't see the pictures she's posting. She may be posting them to be mean; she may be clueless; she may just not care about how hurt you still are because your feelings haven't been entering into her calculations for some time now.

There is nothing OP can say to her or make her do to change her tack. He cannot control her or make her learn to be more cognizant. All he can do is to keep his eyes off her page and control his own actions through keeping distance between him and anything having to do with her.

Ok, I'm not sure whether you've been actively dating her recently or whether you're 'just friends'.

If you are actively dating her, then she's definitely treating you with no respect at all and like you're only filler until she meets someone she likes better.

And if you're 'only friends', then she may have been really believing that is all you are, nothing more, while you've been thinking you are 'working on it' to maybe get back together.

Either way, when someone does something like this, it is a clear sign you are wasting your time with her and need to totally go no contact, cut her off, and never speak to her again. She's not offering you what you're interested in, and she's busily chasing other men. Nothing at all in that for you but heartbreak, and she won't make a good friend at all because of your feelings for her, so let her go and move on. Trying to be friends with you is obviously no skin off her back and keeps her company while she's looking for new ment, but it's a lot of pain and trouble for you, so don't bother and stop re-injuring yourself by continuing contact with her.

Your ex sounds like someone who is completely 100% codependent and addicted to being in a relationship.

She literally cannot function if she is alone. The very idea of her not being in a relationship is terrifying. Thats why she has been randomly messaging you since 2011 when she left you for some other guy to see if she could keep you strung along as a back up plan until she finds herself a new b/f and then drops you like a hat.

You need to stop this cycle! You can no longer be her back up, her fall back person because she hasnt found the new guy yet. Cut her out of everything possible you could think of.. Change you phone number if necessary. This vicious cycle is not going end unless you end it.

Ok so, so far I've blocked her and gotten rid of everything that can remind me of her. Wether she was trying to keep me around as a friend or a backup it doesn't really matter because what she did was disrespectful and fxcked up regardless because there was no denying she knew how I felt. I'm just going to take her main reasoning for doing that was to subtlety tell me to take the hint as she's still not text me back from last Sunday when we would text everyday beforehand. She was sending me nudes through snapchat and telling me good morning and sweet dreams every day that we were talking which made it clear to me she wasn't being "friendly". Whorish maybe, but not friendly. Whatever the case may be, you guys are right, if I don't leave this alone now there's nothing but more pain at the end of the tunnel. I've been down this road before, by her, so that's it. I'm not going on no contact. Nah, I'm going on erasing this chick from my life forever without any hope to reconcile. Thank you all for your input on everything!!

LOL she just texted me "I just wanted to say goodnight and sweet dreams yeah fvck this chick

Yes, block her on your phone too so you don't have to deal with that silliness... some people are just so self centered they never think about the impact of their behavior on other people. so one day she's telling you she's chasing some rapper, then a few days later it's 'sweet dreams'?? Really, that's too much and you need to just drop her like a hot rock.

Exactly!! No fvcking logic in that unless he didn't want her or she was attempting to get a reaction out of me to get me to chase her more. Only reaction she's got is me dropping her