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Thread: My boyfriend died and I'm lonely

  1. #11
    Gold Member treesandbees's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for your loss My first boyfriend my high school boyfriend died in a car accident a few months before his 18th bday I was 17 at the time and I still miss him and still love him, I don't think that ever goes away but you can hold onto good thoughts and memories of them to comfort you. I didn't date again until I was 21 yo and I compared everyone to him.

  2. #12
    Hi. I can completely relate to this post. I am 24 and I was with my boyfriend over 3 years. We lived together for 2. He was my absolute world. He died suddenly on 23.12.2014. I was with him when he died. I have coped so far as well as I can. His funeral is in 2 weeks. I have my up days and my down days. But like you i have this overwhelming feeling that i will never meet some one who loved me as much as he did and visa versa. I felt my future was with him. Ive never met such a caring and loving individual. My whole life revolved around him for 3 years and it has just been taken away. I cant imagine being with anyone else. I am scared i will always compare who ever i meet in the future to him. I just want to know that there is hope!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for your loss. I know nothing anyone says on here can convey the sadness we feel for you, and the sadness you feel for him, but please know that we're thinking of you and wish you well. Post on here if you want/can and we'll support you!

  4. #14
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    I just went through this a few weeks ago except he had broken up with me a week before he died. His death was sudden and everyone is still shocked. In my situation it is like I lost M twice.
    How are you feeling these days?
    I'm here for you.
    I agree, people try to be empathetic and they mean well but it's like they can't help. No one understands the pain of losing someone who meant so much. How can they know the special, private times you shared? Those things are between you two only and maybe you can take some comfort in that. He's with you forever.
    People suggest counseling. I'm trying it out and it can be overwhelming. I suggest writing to him in a journal. I believe your bf is out there somewhere, somehow. Write to him when you are hurting and tell him your thoughts and your memories.
    I know how you feel when you say you feel old. I do too. An experience like this does age you. Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself.
    My friend's grandmother, who had lost her husband of 50 years said to me" Honey, you are joining this club 40 years early" and she was right. I didn't lose my husband but I did lose someone I loved dearly. Many, many people don't experience this until later in life.
    DON'T let other people's marriages and new families get you down. You never know what happens behind closed doors. Everyone has struggles.
    What you need is a patient man who will accept you and all you have been through. Try dating someone older? Be patient. Maybe you boyfriend is somewhere up above trying to put a good man in your path. Ask him to help you- if you feel comfortable.
    You aren't alone!

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  6. #15

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    This Thread is quite old, But I wanted to say I am now RIGHT where you were. First I'm very sorry for everyone's losses.! My FiancÚ died suddenly January 28, 2017. I am so distraught, numb, lonely, and just so sad. I cry all the time. most of My friends don't live close by . None of them ever call me. Well they did the first week , but after that, I've been on my own for most part. I have one or two good friends near me, but they're married and have their own lives. I've been seeing a grief councellor but I don't think it's helping. I mourn for all the things my BF and I used to do together. Just making a meal, and eating is so heartbreaking because it's something we always did together. I want to go out and do things, but find I have NO ONE to go with me.. and it's so hard to do things alone. I've tried spas, and getting nails done but those only kill so much time. Ive tired getting a meal out by myself a few times but usually end up asking for a box to GO. At home I find myself struggling to just do the mundane things. UGH! I'm hoping someone who's been though this before with no support can offer some advice ??

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Cinders1
    This Thread is quite old, But I wanted to say I am now RIGHT where you were. First I'm very sorry for everyone's losses.! My FiancÚ died suddenly January 28, 2017. I am so distraught, numb, lonely, and just so sad. I cry all the time. most of My friends don't live close by . None of them ever call me. Well they did the first week , but after that, I've been on my own for most part. I have one or two good friends near me, but they're married and have their own lives. I've been seeing a grief councellor but I don't think it's helping. I mourn for all the things my BF and I used to do together. Just making a meal, and eating is so heartbreaking because it's something we always did together. I want to go out and do things, but find I have NO ONE to go with me.. and it's so hard to do things alone. I've tried spas, and getting nails done but those only kill so much time. Ive tired getting a meal out by myself a few times but usually end up asking for a box to GO. At home I find myself struggling to just do the mundane things. UGH! I'm hoping someone who's been though this before with no support can offer some advice ??
    Hi. Cinders, I suggest that you start your own thread under the bereavement forum and make it a journal. That way you can keep it going indefinitely and your thread will not be shut down. It is like keeping a diary and you can post how you feel and people can chime in as well. I posted on this thread of my experience. The recovery from a death of someone you love is a long and painful journey. This site, enotalone, is a support for all types of life experiences, including grief. So, you have found a good place to find people who understand what you are feeling. Hang in there, it does get better..... chi

  8. #17
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    Cinders1, I have just now seen your post, at the end of 2018. Sorry it's so long after your initial post, as I can fully relate to how hard you must've been wallowing in grief when you posted your story. I know that, by now, you've become more able to cope with your loss...although, you probably aren't "better", and I feel ya on that one. So..reach out if you're feeling alone, in a hole, or just pissed. I will check back here for you. Take care.

  9. #18
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    I'm just checking in with everyone. This forum has always comforted me. It's been 8 years since my boyfriend died. chitown9 , you are awesome for showing up here so often to offer comfort and solace. I sincerely appreciate every post and reply you've made. It's strange how/why/when people cross one anothers' paths; and I'm grateful to have stumbled upon yours. What an odd club that's been formed here, that has become almost an oddly comforting sisterhood. The First Widows Club. "I don't care to belong to Any club that would have Me as a member." -Groucho Marx
    The way I/we ended up here, sucks. But, I'm honestly really glad that I found this place when I did. This forum was my canteen in the desert.
    Last edited by LifesAdance; 09-16-2020 at 05:49 AM. Reason: Typo

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