My father lost his job, should I jump ship?

Hi guys, it's been a long time. I got an offer from another company (a competitor) a few weeks ago and I'm supposed to ask for an advise about this but I didn't push through as I'm still weighing the pros and cons. But now that something bad happened, I'm reconsidering...

The synopsis of the story is

I'm a 25 yr old bachelor here in the Philippines, working at a good company for 1 1/2 years, got an offer from a competitor with higher pay though I'm still reluctant but something bad happened and my father has a good paying job but lost it and now is in hiding and afraid of being jailed because of debt, now we can't pay the tuition fees of my 2 brothers, bills, and house loan. Should I jump to another ship now (accept the offer)? Though it will increase my salary, it's still not enough to cover all of our expenses. Our only home (but still not currently ours) is in danger of being forfeited, my brothers might need to stop going to college and high school respectively? Actually I don't know what to do, we have a government agency here that is responsible for the welfare of overseas worker but my father insists that if we coordinate his case to this agency, it will just make matters worst but I can't see anything more worse than hiding in a foreign country without a solid job and a threat of being locked up abroad. Though the increase in salary will be helpful and also there are lots of overtime work there but what I'll be sacrificing is my goal to have a straight solid work experience in a company and time for myself.

Pros Cons

Current Company

Pros: Broader range of experience (Testing and Automation), comfortable with my coworkers, possible promotion to a higher position, I can support myself, I have more time for myself, travel around the country, managers are easy to deal with, I can file a vacation leave whenever I want as long as there is no ongoing project.

Cons: Mediocre pay (comparing with the nature and weight of my work), huge tax (they tax everything), a bit unstable due to most of my seniors are planning to resign

Competitor

Pros: Better pay, more benefits, more overtime work = more pay, less tax (they only tax the basic pay), more established means more secure and more projects

Cons: Going to cope up with new co employees, narrower experience (Testing only, but they have more specialized equipment), I'l be now living to work instead of working to live.

This is a longer story (My family problem is detailed here)

I live here in the Philippines, I'm working at this company for a year and a half now, for me this is the opportunity that I am waiting for to build my career as a technician (engineering technician). Without having an engineering degree, I felt lucky to have this opportunity and planned to stay here for at least 5 years to build a solid work experience then find a good paying job overseas. I love my job, though the pay is not high at least I can survive as I'm still a bachelor (25 yrs old) and also considering all the knowledge and skills that I'll learn in this company, I can use it as an advantage in looking for a better job overseas. Months ago, some misunderstanding happened in our company and one of my superiors resigned and luckily he got a job from a competitor. He asked me if I'm interested to check this company which is more established (19 yrs in the industry vs 3 yrs in my current company). I accepted his offer to have an interview there a few weeks ago, the manager gave me a good offer (higher salary and more benefits), the nature of work is still the same though they specialize in one area which is electrical testing vs here in my current company where I am exposed in both testing and automation (which I really love). I'm still reluctant to leave my current employer but the offer is tempting but still my goal for a better work experience outweighs the offer.

Now here comes a major problem. My father is our main provider, though he has a good paying job abroad, we don't live an easy life due to him being a heavy gambler, we have our ups and downs before but we managed to get pass through it but it's getting worse every time. He managed to have some investments, we have our own house, a car, and we even managed to mortgage another house (condominium unit) as we have relocated here at the capital due to my work and my brother will be studying here. We didn't know how it happened but he accumulated a large amount of debt, we also don't know if it's from the bank, credit cards, or loan sharks, we don't know his salary and how many credit cards he have and also we don't know how much is his total debt. Out of desperation, he decided to sell our car at a loss and also our previous house and lot. My mother snooped into his documents and found some debts amounting to around $50,000+. The amount that we've sold can pay around 50% of his debt however he only paid some part of it and he used his credit card to cash advance and went home. Upon returning home, he is always at the casino though he doesn't want us to see him playing that's why we don't know how much he have lost, he even extended his vacation here and our conclusion is that out of his desperation, he held onto the hope of winning huge amount at the casino to pay for his debt but what really happened is he lost (BIG Time) a huge amount and he cant pay his debt now. He decided to return at his work even though he feared that he will be jailed by the time he returns and now after 2 weeks of not having any contact, he sent a message that he is now in hiding, that he didn't showed up at work (being AWOL for 2 weeks, that'll make sure that he lost his job already if he really didn't showed up), that he is looking for part time job and that he cannot provide us our needs due to this situation. We have our daily needs, bills to pay, tuition fees, and house loan. For me to support that expenses here in our country, I need to have a managerial position and salary which is sadly far from truth. Even though I'll resign and grab the other offer, it's still not enough, we are in danger of giving up our house (being forfeited by the bank, or if we're lucky we can find someone to rent it) but still we really need to move out. My brother is in college and he is now sad that he might need to stop his school as well as my other brother which is about to turn 6th grade. Another problem is as much as we want to help him, he just doesn't want to cooperate, whenever he is in this kind of situation, he wanted to solve the matters in his own, we don't know his real whereabouts, if he really did went abroad or hiding in our country, he didn't give concrete information, how can we help him if he's like that. It just doesn't make any sense giving up your job, hiding in a foreign country with no solid job and with huge amount of debt instead of negotiating with the banks to have a longer payment term or getting a financial adviser to help him and continue with his work to pay for his debt. I just can't stand the stupidity that my father just did, this is so much for me to handle... No matter where I go, stay or jump to another company, still it won't help us..

Hey there frozen,

You are going through a lot for someone at your age and I can somehow relate to you ( father unemployed and mothers business barely surviving ).

This is a point in your life that you have to "sacrifice" yourself for your family. What I mean is that you have to accept the offer from this other company no matter if you prefer it or not just because of the higher salary. Well I think this is the right choice anyway

Also, your brother who is in college is working ? At least a part time job. If he isnt, he should get one or ever drop out of college for a year ( working full time ) just to pay up the debts and return to it when its no longer a threat.

As long as your father is concerned, the fact that he is a heavy gambler shows that he probably has to deal with loan sharks who do get serious if someone owes them 25k. I am not saying that this is certainly the fact but it could be the reason he is hiding.

I believe that you will figure everything out but you will need to make some changes in your life!

Thank you very much daddids, I really need that kind of insights and advise. What also makes matters worst is that we didn't saw this coming and we don't have any emergency funds so we really need to survive while figuring things out to survive and this is really difficult.

I am on the verge of accepting the offer though I'm also planning to get some loan and start a small business (small cafeteria) and also my aunt is selling a small portion of their lot to help us, I'm still in the process of researching (I've been planning to start a business before so I'm digging those now) but if I'll accept the offer on the other company, I will not have any time for this as I'll be on the field most of the time and also there is a possible salary increase in my current company, I just don't have any idea if it'll match the offer from the other company.

March is coming and that means both of my brothers school break is coming, at least we don't need to worry about their daily allowance in the mean time and it will give us time if we can work it out so they can continue their next school year this coming June but I'm still asking my 18 yr old brother if at least he can sacrifice a year or two and look for a job if he can.

We can survive without getting our current home being forfeited if at least another one in our household will work full time, either my brother or my mother or have a small business that can at least make ends meet, or if we can find someone to rent our current house and we'll find another place which we can rent for a lower price.

With regards to my father, we just discovered (by contacting the Bureau of Immigration) that he didn't left the country on the day of his flight, though we still have to confirm if he rebooked his flight, if not then he is just hiding here in our country somewhere, abandoning and fooling us at the same time. I know how he thinks, seeing that he gave all of his hope in gambling, he'll do anything he can to support his so called source of oppurtunity or hope and we can't do anything about that, he's the only one who can help himself and we can't rely on him if he will not change...

I really hope we can figure things out and get pass through this.

You sound like a descent man with discipline, such men always find a way out.

First things first, if I were you I would not start a business at this given time because it requires some budget plus it is a risk whether it will be successful or not. Even if it is you may need to wait a couple of years just to get the money invested back and then start making profit out of it.

It is a great idea but for later on!

As far as the spring break is concerned, in my country, there are summer jobs for everyone with good pays. If this is the case in yours too then your old brother can help you big time!

Moving into a smaller/cheaper house is a very good move to start with, actually cutting off any extra/unnecessary expenses should be taken into consideration.

Keep strong brother!

Thanks for the compliment and for strengthening me... About your reply that I quoted in bold letter, actually after replying earlier I also asked our accountant for some advise about that idea, she also asked me that it's not a good idea at this time due to the risks involved considering our current situation, exactly the same as you said. I think I should focus now on how we can survive in the mean time and as much as possible without getting our house forfeited.

Our hopes and options are to ask the bank to restructure our lown, lowering the monthly payment and lengthening the terms, or if we're able to find someone to rent our house, it can sustain the loan payment for the meantime and we can look for a cheaper house to live though around this area, a single house that can accommodate all 4 of us will cost around the same of our monthly payment, cheapest will be 30% lower. Another option is my mom and my youngest brother will move back to our hometown and live with my grandmother and look for a job there while me and my college brother can stay here at the capital, rent a smaller house, at least, the rent will be 50%-60% lower and I can sustain that alone and both of our daily needs while helping him get a job here. He is very fluent in english specially in speech

If all else fails and we lose our house without finding someone to rent it and with no one in our household finds a job, we still have our relatives in our hometown as I've said earlier and they can move there temporarily until we can stand and start all over again... I guess the phrase "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst" applies to me now, the best I can do now is stay optimistic and strong... In this kind of situation, it's hard to focus and think out of the box thats why, it really helps alot getting advise like this...

Thanks bro...

No problem mate, I live in a country with a really high unemployment percentage and extremely low salaries.

People deal with problems like yours everyday and some of my closest people are in your shoes.

One thing I know for sure is that you cannot quit! Another thing I know is that "hoping" is for the weak ones, strong people fight for what they want. You dont sound like a weak one so go out there and get what is best for you and your family.

You may need to go some rough days for a short while but after every storm comes a rainbow.

Believe in your self and trust your instinct when it comes to taking decisions.

Same here... You're right dude, as they say winners never quit, quitters never win. I'm going to give my best shot, life is boring without adversities, I've been through alot of rough days in the past though I do admit, this one really caught me off guard... Thanks again...