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Thread: PTSD ,Out of Darkness Into The Sun: My Recovery

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    [video=youtube_share;iXpeCeFRdcI]

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    Guilt and Shame

    Guilt and shame will murder your body. The chemicals in your body that are released as result of guilt and shame will tear your body to pieces. It creates chronic pain in all parts of your body. It creates joint damage. It creates swelling. It creates migraines. It creates gastrointestinal issues. It creates suffering.

    Every time I have an opportunity to enjoy something in life my body makes sure I will never enjoy it. Take for instance my trip this weekend we leave Friday morning and what happens today ? My knee blows up like a balloon. That is guilt in action. To make sure that I endlessly suffer.

    Guilt becomes it's own entity and part of your body.

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    Hypervigilance

    One thing I have noticed throughout my life is , if someone goes out of their way to hurt me whether privately or publicly I am on guard with them for forever. I can tell what is done maliciously and what is not done maliciously. What is done not maliciously I can forgive and forget. If you do something maliciously though don't expect me to ever forget it while I may forgive it.

    This is something that developed in me after childhood.

    My mother said I was a very high-spirited child but very very sweet and very easily hurt . She said after 13 I was never the same. I was still always kind and very easily hurt but I was very different. My innocence and joie de vivre had been taken away.

    And I think it is still gone. Is that permanent? I don't know.

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    Somatic healing, a therapy I have done.[video=youtube_share;AFUZHz6_0XE] ]

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