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Thread: PTSD ,Out of Darkness Into The Sun: My Recovery

  1. #31
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    You will bring beauty from my pain

    [video=youtube_share;OutNrRch2OY] ]

  2. #32
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    It is a long process but I am willing to do it. I am willing to walk that journey. I have hope now. I no longer believe I will die young.

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    Either EM DR is working or I need some critical work still in the numbness department. But the only trauma that I seem to have any emotional attachment to is the death of Liam. We did cover that in EM DR but it hasn't totally erased the feelings about that. Every other trauma no longer has any emotional attachment to it. And in that way I can examine it critically.

    I am much less of an angry person though. That angry filter is gone unless people push situations in my face. But if you push nasty situations in someone's face it is natural to be angry.

    But just getting rid of that angry filter is such a gigantic improvement I can't even tell you. It is so nice not to be overflowing emotion and anger 24 hours a day.

  4. #34
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    I think it is the EDMR as to why I no longer have an emotional connection to any of that trauma. What EDMR does, is it allows the brain to sort memories into areas of the brain where they belong. It allows the brain to effectively put them in the past. What happens in PTSD is the brain is damaged in such a way that it cannot sort memories properly. And they get stored all over in different parts of the brain where they don't belong. And it keeps the memories and the emotions that those memories create in the present. EDMR will not take away the memories but it puts them in the brain in places where it has little to no effect on the present.

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  6. #35
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    I was listening to a song today while at work and one of the lines was : living in a powder keg and giving off a spark. Yeah ,that is PTSD in a statement.

  7. #36
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    My anxiety and panic has been a little crippling lately. I can't even control my eyes. My eyestrain is so bad I literally can't focus. A lot of the time I just have to keep my eyes shut. The only time I can actually focus my eyes is when I take my medication. I don't want to go that route but I might have to.

    Didn't go to my volunteering yesterday because I just couldn't face doing it.

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    Yeah I'm pushing my comfort zone too hard too fast.

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    It really kind of explains why I am a pretty protective in fact really overprotective parent. I am very hypervigilant about protecting myself and him. I know that is part of the reason why he has anxiety. About my hyper vigilance he just says "mom, you're cracked." We joke about my PTSD symptoms because it's easier to handle that way.

  10. #39
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    I started watching this woman's video blog about her journey with PTSD. It is so good to find commonality with other people.

  11. #40
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    Hope that I have found my method to allow me to travel. If I have my method in my mind I can take it anywhere . I just take my mind back to when I was kick ass tough. I take myself back to my army experiences where nobody could best me and I was the most resilient I have ever been. I faced some pretty scary experiences and was able to overcome. I just keep a steady stream of my badass girl stories in my mind. This method seems to be working.

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