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Talked to my ex today , I appoligiesed at first he didn't care and then he went on saying I'm not the only one with problems he doesn't even know if he'll get ei for being off this winter so he may not have any money coming in he said he has a lot of patience and I pushed him to a point he has no interest in talkig to me I cause a lot of problems where they don't exist I offered to continue to pay down the debt I said I have the account numbers I could do that , he said to do what I want I said ok .. If e really didn't want to talk to me wouldn't he have just not answered ? And do you think I should help him and no he is not using me as break up was my fault for treating him badly

I haven't read your history - but if you owe him money, the right thing to do is to pay him back the money you owe him whether you are together or not.

If you are not together and you do NOT owe him money (they are HIS debts) - then no, I don't think that you should pay his debts to "be nice" or "help out". He chose to break up with you and essentially cut you out of his life... if he wanted your help, he would put your differences aside and try to work through things while receiving your help.

Op...they are your debts. Continue to pay on them.

And he took your call to tell you again that he is done. because he does not want continued contact. You managed to go 5 days....and he left months ago.

Time to get YOUR act together.

It was our debt and he tried for 3 months and I caused a lot of arguments and pushed him a lot and he couldnt take it anymore if you read my other post of why we broke up you would understand my delema

It is "our" debt only to the extent he was footing the bills for you and YOUR son.

So pay what you can. He will obviously be on the hook for a while due to taking care of you.

Or don't...but he has made it clear this isn't about the $$..he isn't going to be tied to you for any money you decide to throw his way.

No it was our debt look I wasn't completely usless I brought in over 1500 a month and him 1600 !! Stop putting me down I am in school and have income from school we had an electricity bill I'm pretty sure I was not the only one who had light on in my apartment and I wasn't the only one taking showers , I just didn't work and he wanted a little more help .. But I was still bringing in money so stop commenting your a very negative person

if you owe him money, the right thing to do is to pay him back the money you owe him whether you are together or not.

 

If you are not together and you do NOT owe him money (they are HIS debts) - then no, I don't think that you should pay his debts to "be nice" or "help out". He chose to break up with you and essentially cut you out of his life... if he wanted your help, he would put your differences aside and try to work through things while receiving your help.

I agree with all of the above. If you do NOT owe him any money, then leave him alone. You said you have put him through hell and treated him very badly, and if that's the case, back off and leave the guy alone. IF he ever wants you in his life, then let HIM contact you.

If you do owe him money, then transfer whatever you owe him into his bank account and be done with it.

You don't have income from school, you have student loan debt.

Yeah...that isn't income. It is debt (in your name) that will need to be paid off.

According to your post...you didn't work all summer...so he was paying 1/2 the rent on your apartment...half of the groceries, utilities, child care for YOUR child.

Yowser.

If he's in debt because living with you cost him more than he would have needed to pay if he lived solo, then pay him what you owe him because that's the right thing to do.

Either way, I'd leave him alone. He knows how to contact you if he ever wants to.

Take a step back. He's telling you he is going through a hard time too. Do you really think he's just happy as a clam? He's suffering too. Respect him and give him some space.

Did you not read what everyone is saying about me I'm evil and selfish and they even feel bad for my son , how could anyone like anyone like me

No one said you were "bad for your son". I encouraged you to be a better person for you and your son. I don't have children, but I am constantly trying to improve myself, because I want those that I love and care about (my mother, for instance), to be proud of me. No one is perfect, and I feel that EVERYONE, not just you, should constantly be trying to improve themselves.

I think that you are feeling a bit more sensitive than you typically would be, and that is normal. From your posts, you seem to wanting others on this forum to tell you what you want to hear--that he will come back to you and love you again. No one here can do that. The only thing you can do is live your life like he won't, and do what you need to do to move on.

Of you go read my relationship and look at those comments you will see what ppl said about me

The only way people on the forum know you is from your own words and story.

You're a mess, sweetheart, and you need to get your head on straight.

You're not evil. Good grief. Even good people do bad things. Good people make mistakes. Calling yourself evil is just a cop out. If you don't like yourself, CHANGE! It's totally in your hands. You can turn it around any time.

Stop trying to talk to your ex and apologize. You've done it enough already. Focus on you. Focus on healing. Focus on being better. That's what matters right now.

I didn't call yes lf evil someone else on this forum called me evil

Myself* and I am going to change I'm starting therapy next week I'm attending anger management and I am attending parenting classes , I still don't find it right of ppl to call other ppl names it is bullying and for someone who is trying to change and who is going through a depression those words hurt more then anything because when I hear them it brings me more down

That's the thing about posting on a public forum... you don't have to like what people have to say. A lot of times, you're not going to. That doesn't mean that you should run away with your tail between your legs or get defensive, necessarily, but should take a hard look at a couple of things. A.) Why you came to an anonymous place in the first place, and B.) whether or not those comments have any merit. It's hard to be honest with ourselves. Sometimes strangers are able to hold up a mirror we can't avoid.

These people don't know you; all they know is what you've chosen to share. Taking it to heart usually means it hits a chord within you. If it does, then think about it and figure out why... and what you can do to fix whatever may be broken. The answers people give here are not the be-all end-all of advice. You have a choice to take it or leave it. If you internalize it, that's on you. Not the people giving it.