Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: I'm jealous of my boyfriends dog!

  1. #1
    Sylvia
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    19
    Gender
    Female

    Angry I'm jealous of my boyfriends dog!

    Okay, So this is going to be long, and I apologize in advance.
    My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. I have a daughter from my ex-husband and a little less than a year ago we decided to get her a puppy because hers was hit by a car. Everything was great until this cute, fluffy, puppy (She's a lab/rottie mutt mix) turned into a huge, smelly, slobbery dog. & before I get the smarty pants reply, yes I was fully aware she would be a big dog. Well my daughter has lost interest in the dog and she belongs 100% to my boyfriend now. Problem is, He treats this dog like a queen! I understand he is a dog person and maybe I just don't get it because I don't like dogs very much, but I thought maybe that would be different if I raised one from a baby. Nope. I still hate dogs. She sheds, she stinks, she jumps all over you, and has no grace to her what so ever. I don't like her sleeping in the bed with us and he gets mad at me if I make her get down. I don't want her on the furniture because she sheds and there's black hair everywhere! He brings her everywhere he goes, and I just feel second. He will completely ignore me and love on the dog, yet when I hug him, he wont even put his arms around me! He was never a real "lovey dovey" guy to begin with, but he has NO problem kissing all over this dog, and loving all over her, He has even told me before that if it ever came down to me and the dog, he'd take the dog!! It feels like it takes an act of congress for him to break his attention span from her and spend time with me. Am I crazy? Then I thought, "Well maybe I need a pet too." So I got myself a kitten. Which is fine except now, my boyfriend gets mad at me for paying attention to the "Damn cat" as he says and not to the dog, Or the fact that I mention something along the lines of getting the kitten flea treated, he legit said to me, "That's so f***ed up, you're willing to spend money on this cat but you wont get flea stuff for our dog?!" Okay A: The price for frontline differs GREATLY between a 95lb dog and a 0.5lb kitten! and B: The dog has already been treated! Right now we are in a huge fight because of the other night we were drinking and I guess the dog done something to piss me off and I let him know about it. I'm not proud of what I said, however I'm sure everyone can relate to saying something that they don't mean while drunk at least once in their life.... Well... unfortunately I said something pretty hurtful in the heat of the moment. I said if I had to I'd take the f***ing dog to the pound and I hoped they killed her. That I hated them both, and never wanted to see them again. . .(Keep in mind I was drunk at the time, I don't hate him and I don't wish death on the stupid dog) So now he's all mad and wont talk to me because I'm cold hearted and what not. I don't know what to do. I love him, I just feel like this dog is a huge problem and I need to either get past it somehow or check into a psych ward because seriously?! Who's jealous of a dog? That's not normal. Right?? I'm sorry this is so long, if you made it this far, well thanks for reading. I needed to vent I guess.

  2. #2
    B4551C
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    NoVA
    Age
    27
    Posts
    56
    Gender
    Male
    First off...line breaks and paragraphs do wonders to keep me interested in reading...I did read it though...just for future reference.

    To your post- I think you have every right to maturely bring this up while you're both sober, and come up with an adult compromise on how to handle this situation. Obviously there is a lot of tension in the relationship because of the dog, or your lack of tolerance for the dog. Whatevr the case may be, you'll BOTH have to come up with some sort of agreement, like maybe he promises to be mindful of how much affection he shows towards you vs the dog. Maybe you'll promise to be mindful of how you may or may not over react to the dogs behavior.

    Jealousy is a hell of an emotion, and the best thing to do about it is address it within yourself, instead of chasing the person whom you think is responsible for causing it. Treat it like a fire...when a house catches on fire, the firemen don't start looking for the man who started it...they put it out. If, instead, they decide to chase the culprit first, the fire would quickly get out of control, and cause a lot more damage than needed.

    Be patient, and bring it up to him maturely and calmly. If he refuses to fold, then I'd bring it up as an ultimatum because you will continue to resent the dog if he completely refuses to be flexible on this.

  3. #3
    DancingFool
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    4,345
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2334
    Well....this really isn't about the dog is it? It's really about the fact that your bf doesn't meet your needs. Let's face it, if he did, if he treated you the way you crave to be treated, then the dog would not even be a blip on your radar. You are just displacing your frustrations with what's lacking in your relationship by focusing on the dog. The dog isn't the problem here. The human relationship is what you need to be giving an honest look at. Alcohol is a great truth serum, btw, so maybe don't dismiss so easily what you said about wanting them both out of your life. You have some issues with your bf that need to be addressed and resolved and if they can't be, then perhaps parting company is the best you can do for yourself.

  4. #4
    mhowe
    Platinum Member mhowe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Age
    55
    Posts
    42,283
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    7457
    I don't see you guys as compatible. Or very mature.
    You don't like dogs, but you bought a large dog for your little girl.
    The dog is clearly not trained, which is part of the issue.
    Your non-demonstrative bf has clearly no problem showing affection to the dog and has told you he would pick the dog over you (I would have left after that)

    You, in a drunken rage, tell him you would kill the dog if you could.
    And buy a cat in order to compete...for what...I don't know.

    I suggest separate houses and being single with your respective pets.

  5. #5
    Victoria66
    Forum Supporter Victoria66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    49
    Posts
    29,275
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3471
    Quote Originally Posted by DancingFool [Register to see the link]
    Well....this really isn't about the dog is it? It's really about the fact that your bf doesn't meet your needs. Let's face it, if he did, if he treated you the way you crave to be treated, then the dog would not even be a blip on your radar. You are just displacing your frustrations with what's lacking in your relationship by focusing on the dog. The dog isn't the problem here. The human relationship is what you need to be giving an honest look at. Alcohol is a great truth serum, btw, so maybe don't dismiss so easily what you said about wanting them both out of your life. You have some issues with your bf that need to be addressed and resolved and if they can't be, then perhaps parting company is the best you can do for yourself.
    This. And just to add this is not about dogs and cats but the severe lack of respect that you guys have for each other.

  6. #6
    abitbroken
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    16,576
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1942
    I think you should break up and leave your boyfriend and his dog alone. I can imagine that if you have such cruel thoughts about the dog, the boyfriend is not putting his arm around you because you are bitter and hateful and not because he loves the dog more. The dog is compassionate and caring towards him all the time. And you say hateful things when drunk and have unreasonable expectations about the dog. Ninety percent of dogs shed and large dogs -- well,, many of them slobber and you act so put upon by it.

    Also, you are trying for your boyfriend to be someone he is not. I am not very affectionate towards people. I am a little socially awkward too. But I am totally at ease around animals and can totally see myself giving a hug to a dog before people. That is how I am.

    And no, I do not think the dog is ill trained for being on the furniture. Some people are okay with pets on furniture and the dog is trained in other ways - walking on a leash and commands.

    Please do not get any more pets. The pets suffer when people buy them to "fix" things - teaching your daughter that pets are disposable by immediately getting a new puppy and getting a kitten to compete against the dog. I am glad that your boyfriend loves the dog.

    Sorry for the rant, but I hate when someone takes things out on animals

  7. #7
    Snny
    Forum Supporter
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    5,045
    Thanked
    804
    I'd kick anyone to the curb in a heartbeat if they ever opened their mouths about wanting to kill my dog. That is messed up.

    I agree with mhowe. I fail to comprehend why you went out and got a cat.

  8. #8
    IThinkICan
    Platinum Member IThinkICan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    USA
    Age
    50
    Posts
    7,201
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2480
    When I was married, I was jealous of our cat. Which I identified as ridiculous. Nonetheless, the cat got more affection than I.

    Our marriage ended. He kept the cat.

    The rest is just unnecessary detail.

  9. #9
    Sylvia
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    19
    Gender
    Female
    Okay, I thank you all. First of all I want to make it clear that I have NEVER hurt the dog, I would NEVER hurt the dog & that is the one and ONLY time I have ever said anything of that nature. I was drunk and pissed off. I didn't get the cat to compete, I thought if I had a pet to give my affection too then I would focus less on the dog.
    (btw my cat is amazing, well looked after, and loved)
    We have talked it over tonight (sober) and I told him how I felt and how sorry I was for saying those hurtful things in the heat of the moment.
    All is well for the moment.
    Thanks for the advice.

  10. #10
    Sylvia
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    19
    Gender
    Female
    And NO I do not have unrealistic expectations about the dog. Dogs do not belong on the furniture. Period. She can have a big bed in the floor. She is a dog. Not a person.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Feel like I'm being nagged.
I've posted about this before, my new partner (now been together 4ish months) suggested I move in with him due to my sticky financial situation. I
Are there any men out there that do not fantasize other women when their taken?
My bf fantasize about girls he finds on fb. I am disgusted with him. Yeah I know he is horny but why can't he just watch porn and masturbate over
How would you react to this?
So, I wanted to get a new deck, which the house desperately needs. It's 26 years old and literally falling apart. It's an eyesore. I set an
Petty, petty arguments
Hello all!! My partner who I've been with for a few years is 7 years older than me yet his maturity level is not where mine is. This is not a
Are there any men out there that do not flirt with other girls when their taken
Bf and I had a fight because he was flirting with lots of girls on facebook. He pretended and acted single. Well my guy friend told me that all guys
I want her to come to a wedding with me, she does not want to go
I need some advice regarding my Fiancee. We were both invited to a wedding of a long time friend of mine, but my girlfriend does not want to go. She
Career conflict - am I being selfish?
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 7 years. We broke up a couple of years ago for 3 months and during this time I realised how much I

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I met guy at a bar - what next??? Please read it through!! Pls advise!!
So Iím 33 & happen to move the Chicago city very recently from NYC. The first weekend; Saturday I was bored & didnít feel like sitting at home on a
Are there any men out there that do not watch porn
Almost want to give up on trying to find what I think would be a good guy. I feel like this will be the one thread that nobody will respond to. I
Spouse's lack of ambition is frustrating
I recently got married. About eight months prior to our wedding my now husband was laid off from work. He decided not to look for work as wedding
Petty, petty arguments
Hello all!! My partner who I've been with for a few years is 7 years older than me yet his maturity level is not where mine is. This is not a
Blocked by crush. Will NC work?
Last month a guy I had being talking to for about 3 months blocked me. He said the excessive calling and texting was starting to he to much. Prior to
Child Support.. Pursue or Not Pursue?
I'm needing a little advice about how Child Support works. My Ex Fiance decided at 7 weeks he didn't want my child. I was told in no uncertain terms
Millennial-aged men: could you really date someone like me?
(I'm sorry if this is disjointed. It's hard even to type about.) Three years ago, I had been working as a prosecutor for two years. My boyfriend and
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •