Friend is BPD and suicidal. Hospital keeps turning her away.

One of my best friends has been struggling the past year or so. She's been incorrectly diagnosed as depressed, bipolar etc. and was just told last week that she's borderline personality disorder which seems really accurate.

In the past several months she's cut herself, burned herself, scratched herself and overdosed twice in a matter of a few days.

The first time she overdosed she took 20 times her dose of medication. The hospital let her go the same day. Then she overdosed again three days later and they let her go again shortly after. She's been wanting to be admitted to the hospital for ages and they keep turning her away. I don't understand this! I suffer from depression and I was admitted to the hospital three times and they kept for me awhile. But my friend is not being taken seriously and I'm worried that one day she's going to give up and stop reaching out for help the next time she overdoses which could very well happen because she keeps talking about doing it again. I confiscated some of the medication that she doesn't need to take on a regular basis ie. sleep medication etc. that she keeps taking way too much of. But we don't live in the same town and it's difficult to always keep an eye on her. I offer for her to stay with me but she will generally just stay for the night and take off back home. Her parents are in denial about the whole thing so no help there. She told her psychiatrist that if he didn't have her admitted to the hospital for at least a couple days she was going to go home and overdose and the psychiatrist basically just shrugged it off and said he didn't believe her. I don't get this! I thought all suicide threats were meant to be taken seriously. Most of the time she has actually followed through and hurt herself. She drives erratically and/or under the influence of way too many tranquilizers which could kill herself and or someone else. She just texted me and told me two hospitals turned her down after she came in with her wrists all cut to bits and she's currently been driving around since 9pm last night (it's now 8am the next morning) going from hospital to hospital trying to find someone who will keep her for a few days because she's worried she'll hurt herself again. I don't know what to do.

Why can't she simply admit herself? Saying she is suicidal with a plan? I don't understand, my friend has been dealing with mental illness for a very long time and he has admitted himself on quite a few occasions.

Classic BPD. I have dealt with these people before.

One common trait that they all have is a deep, deep, deep fear of abandonment. That fear drives them to act out. The cutting, binge eating and drinking, erratic relationships, constant turmoil in their life is really nothing more than an attention getter. Once they get your interest or attention, their behavior becomes draining.

Never forget, these individuals no matter how smart or old they are, deep down inside their logical development is as strong as anyone's. I dated a doctor who was a BPD but her emotional state was "stuck" or better yet, retarded at an infant level. You can't rationalize with an infant. Always remember that you are dealing with extreme immaturity.

The average person doesn't see this and usually attribute such behavior to rudeness. Those that work in mental health see it very differently. They see an infant in an adult body.

My advice to you is to stay distanst and don't get caught up in her game. Allow the mental health professional's to deal with her. Btw, most mental health professional limit their contact with these people because BPD's are such good manipulators that in the end they end up manipulating the mental health professional. Don't take the role of "savior" or you will be destroyed.

One common trait that they all have is a deep, deep, deep fear of abandonment. That fear drives them to act out. The cutting, binge eating and drinking, erratic relationships, constant turmoil in their life is really nothing more than an attention getter. Once they get your interest or attention, their behavior becomes draining.

Possibly, but when it comes to self-harm and suicide it is nothing short of wise to give the benefit of the doubt. A young woman on one of my other forums had BPD, and was hospitalized(short term) numerous times from various suicide attempts. She damaged her liver and had subsequent health issues. She finally took her life in a very violent way about a year and a half ago, leaving behind her son. OP doesn't need to be therapist, but to ignore that? Dangerous.

OP, I would honestly call a suicide/crisis hotline and ask them to advise you. I really don't understand like you and I wonder if she is fabricating about the hospital not willing to keep her more than some hours, but I would not worry too much about that and simply get some advice from someone who is well-versed in dealing with suicidal people. Maybe they might even send someone to do a well-being check, they do that sometimes.

I am not trying to be insensitive with this issue but I have dealt with many BPD's.

BPD's are master liars. They will do "anything" to get your attention. Morality, law, ethics mean nothing to them. In addition, most of them do not believe that there is anything wrong with them. That is why it is so difficult to treat.

Eventually their systems become so strong that they turn to violence. Either against you or themselves. That is why there is such a high number of them in prison or dead (they commit suicide).

I highly doubt that hospitals in Canada are simply "turning her away" when she is asking for help. And if they were, why would she be crying out to a friend? Why not her mother, father, sister, brother, etc? BPD's, gravitate to people who give them attention and feel sorry for them. That is how they get their nurturing. Isn't ironic how she is reaching out to a friend but not a family member?

And again, I raise the issue of my forum friend, who is now dead because they thought she was at it with the attention seeking behaviors again, and didn't get the help she truly needed and deserved.

You don't need to tell me about BPD. I know a lot about it. I also know that it is dangerous to make those assumptions in regards to attention seeking behavior as a layman, and that anyone with a clue about BPD or PDs in general would understand there is no one general mold that all fit into. I do agree that the mental health professionals need to be taking care of her, but they also miss things and make mistakes. She was incorrectly diagnosed with Bipolar(that actually does happen a lot) until very recently. And as much as one would like to jam everyone into a neat little category, it just doesn't work that way. Anyone who harms themselves or threatens to needs treatment, and OP doesn't have to enable anything - Call emergency services or the hotline and let someone come out and check on her/assess.

I highly doubt that hospitals in Canada are simply "turning her away" when she is asking for help. And if they were, why would she be crying out to a friend? Why not her mother, father, sister, brother, etc? BPD's, gravitate to people who give them attention and feel sorry for them. That is how they get their nurturing. Isn't ironic how she is reaching out to a friend but not a family member?

I doubt that it would happen numerous times, but no one knows how she is presenting there and what she is saying. Help is only as useful as the person's willingness to take and utilize it. OP can err on the safe side of this and again, contact emergency services and give a crisis line phone number to her friend - There is no harm in that.

Do you think her psych will believe her now?? Does he even know she's been in hosp twice??

She is reaching out for some help- sounds like she's getting desperate, BUT the way I see it,,, is we also have to WANT the help. Can't just say 'here, cure me'.

Good thing she at least has a psych. Is that helping her at all?

Anyone else- of friends etc closer by, who can keep watch on her?

It is very strange how NO One seems to be helping her? How about a crisis line?

What about her own dr? Has she discussed this with them?

Sorry- there is only so much we can do, without authority. This is odd. I do hope she CAN get help.

But, my other concern is the amt of drugs she's on? You know, too much can do more harm?

If she is that drugged.. she shouldn't be driving either.. you think?

Am very sorry, i know your concerns.. this sucks.

Edit: I just realized you are referring to borderline personality disorder. Not bi-polar disorder. Nevermind.

He is actually referring to Borderline Personality Disorder.

Regardless, BPD isn't sociopathy else they would be called sociopaths, and I agree with you.

I suspect, NIN, you probably have an ex-partner with BPD(or believe that they had it). Usually the people who go on like this typically do - Or perhaps I'm making gross generalizations