Get a load of this. Your take?

My ex boyfriend broke up with me nearly four months ago to the day (I remember because it was a really crappy 4th of July). Things were fine and out of the blue, he said that he simply overwhelmed with life - his dad being in the hospital, taking care of his sister's dog, preparing for university in the fall, etc. I was very understanding, told him I understood and to take care of himself. He appreciated it and said he'd talk to me soon, we'd still be friends.

About a month passed; we were still friends on Facebook and I could see he was moving on - posting camping pictures and things like that. He'd added this girl that I just had a feeling about and after failing to say happy birthday when mine passed, I decided to delete him as it was just too hard to see. BUT of course, I kept tabs on the girl... I knooooooow, bad idea. Just a few weeks later, she'd posted pictures of them together - and it felt like someone just ripped my beating heart out of my chest and ran over it a few times with a semi truck. This girl is everything I am not (some ways more bad than good, which I'll get to soon); she's blonde, very tall and lanky, comes from a wealthy Christian family, and has had lots of chance to travel - big blow to my ego, not going to lie. I think I'm pretty, but she was such a different kind of pretty that I began to question myself.

Anyways, she left to Australia for two months at the end of September and keeping up on tabs, it was clear that him and her were at least "taking a break," as there were pictures of her getting pretty touchy-feely with other guys.

Well take a skip-hop-jump to last Saturday - my ex texts me asking if I still go running, and we talked till like 1:30 in the morning. He said that he'd gotten really depressed at the end of September beginning of October, lost 15lbs in two weeks from not eating or sleeping, QUIT university and was looking to moving to either Alaska or Canada (chick lives in Canada). He says he's doing much better now though, started eating again and has been working out like crazy... and he kept talking about it. Kept talking about how ripped he is, how extreme his workouts are, etc. It was excessive and annoying.

So the next morning, I thought about it a little more and changed my mind; told him I just didn't think it was a good idea for us to be workout partners because I'm still not over him and I don't want to set myself back, and his response to that was:

Ex - "It's probably a good idea, because seeing me in this good of shape wouldn't help you whatsoever".

Me - "Actually, you're cockiness is really turning me off - so thanks."

Ex - "Haha, no way! Well good."

Me - "Looks aren't everything, ___. And I don't understand why you're being so mean and cold, I never did anything to you."

He immediately apologizes, said he's been so off since he got depressed and he's sorry, it's not him, he doesn't want to be this way anymore. We get to talking some more and I agree to be his workout partner again. We'd get together on Tuesday at 8pm at the aquatic center.

Well Tuesday comes around, and he texts me saying that he isn't going biking like he thought he was so I could come whenever. So I go over about 6:30, and he is immediately chatting up a storm about how in-shape he is, how much left he has to go... picks up his new weights and starts playing with them, starts doing pushups. It's actually humorous, and I'm embarrassed for him at that point. He insists on getting me to wrestle with him and after a good 10 minutes of being provoked, I get up and push him away which leads to wrestling. He tries to kiss me a couple times, but I turn my head every time, pins me in awkward somewhat sexual positions and blows me raspberries on my stomach and my upper breast. I keep pushing him away and try to keep it on a strict friend-level. That goes on for a good hour and a half, and then we head out to his truck to go to the aquatic center.

While in the truck, he says, "I really do appreciate you saying that I can vent to you and stuff. And I would - I really need to - but I just don't think that you'll want to hear it," and I say, "I think I already know." He looks at me for a second, "Oh... well then you might be happy to know that she demolished my heart." I was halfway shocked but mostly pissed, especially after what had happened at his house. I tell him, "I'm not going to be the rebound for the relationship you left me for." And then we get to the place, about to get out of the truck, and all of a sudden he goes, "I don't want to repent or anything," to me. I don't say anything, just get out and walk inside. I do about three laps in the pool before I'm far too livid to focus. I get out, go to the locker room and wait for him to text, "Are you ready to go?"

We get back in the truck to go home and he just starts firing off defenses. I ask him, "Why the hell would you do this? My ex is the last person in the world I would ask to be my workout partner. And really?! Kissing me?" He says he's sorry and whatnot, he doesn't know what I want him to say and I'm just thinking, does it even matter? I tell him to just spit it out. Tell me everything, give me some closure. Turns out the girl left for Australia and three days in, got hammered and slept with another guy. Week later, she tells him and says she's sorry. He doesn't take her back, but says we'll see how it goes when you come back since we're obviously still into each other. Well a week after that, she decides that she doesn't really have feelings for him anymore and that she doesn't want a relationship. He says that I was great, but he just didn't feel we clicked. And said that he was sorry he moved on so quickly and I "just didn't," but he still hoped we could be friends because he doesn't believe in cutting ties with exes completely unless said ex did something awful. And bah-bam. We get to my house, I get out of the truck, tell him "I'm sorry she turned out to be such a b**ch and have a good life," and walked away.

So there's my rant. Praying that it's really truly over. I feel better than I have in a long time, actually - considering he isn't who I fell in love with at all, I've moved on more in this past week than the whole time since we split. But I am trying to make sense of the mess now. I talked to my cousin and she put it in a way that I feel is pretty accurate:

"Well, he's trying to use your feelings against you to feel better about dumpy cheating on him. He's searching desperately for an ego boost, that's all it sounds like to me. He's told you he's depressed, but he's acting confident, then he does stupid s**t, knows it's stupid, so he reiterates that he's just sad. There's a little fat kid inside of him crying over the fact that his triple scoop ice cream (his ego) got knocked on the ground by a bully (cheatee). Now he's looking for some kindhearted adult (me) to grab his hand and buy him a new one (ego), even though he has probably done nothing to deserve said ice cream."

So... what's your take on this whole spiel? Do you think I made it clear that I want him gone gone? Was I too harsh?

No, you weren't too harsh. I think your cousin nailed it beautifully. According to his reality you were supposed to be the sympathy booty call he'd use to soothe his ego after getting crapped on. Too bad, now he's got a double whammy. You, on the other hand, get to walk away with your head held high proud that you confronted him on it and refused to let him use you.

Now go find someone who doesn't go around trying to use their exes. This guy so doesn't deserve you.

Beautiful take by the cousin.

Don't you know, you were supposed to fall to your knees in awe of his amazing prowess and stroke his ego all better?

Whoever he was before - what he succeeded in doing was showing you he's grown and changed in a different direction - and it's one you don't find remotely attractive. What you said speaks volumes - except for looking to see just where the boy you loved went, you saw a rather pathetic caricature of a man, a braggart, and one that was more into himself than any girl.

Score 1 you, 0 him - his loss, and your gain.

It made me laugh that he'd quit university. It also made me laugh that he broke up with you partially because he was "looking after a dog". What a strange stupid man...

My ex dumped me after being at uni for a week (he is 33 though and very shy and hates meeting new people, so I'm holding onto the fact that he won't be super popular with the girls). But if he dropped out I would celebrate. I know that sounds very mean but he cares SOOO much about himself (sounds like yours does too) and sooo little about me. That's proper Karma you've got there. I live for the day I hear he's screwed everything up.

Okay, cool. Good to see we're all on the same page (: It's hard to tell when emotions are in the way, but I did feel pretty good about the whole thing. Being mean is not in my nature but he set me off the edge... and I'll admit, I did consider sending him a little "sorry for being so harsh, hope everything works out" note - but that just puts him back on the pedestal, which is the last thing he needs and frankly, I want to see right now.

I was shocked at first when he told me about university and had it go through my mind that, "Really? For a girl?" and then it was confirmed in the truck that that was basically the only reason for quitting... because "he was too depressed, had too much going on to focus on studying." Uh, okay. You're pathetic. My heart was broken, knowing he was with someone else - yes, it hurt - but I used college as an opportunity to get away and actually do something for myself. But hey, whatever. I'm laughing my ass off.

Sounds like a really weak insecure guy... You were not too harsh. Considering what an ass he was, you were actually quite nice. I'm actually kind of glad this happened because know you see him for the lame guy he really is and you know you are better off and can do better. Just stay way from this guy. If he texts you again tell him flat out to stop.

Good luck to you. You did great!

and I'll admit, I did consider sending him a little "sorry for being so harsh, hope everything works out" note

I wouldn't. You weren't harsh, you were appropriate. If you find yourself getting sentimental or feeling guilty, I'd combat that by considering that you may have given him the shakeup he'll need to notice that he's sinking his own ship.

He broke your heart, she punched his ego. He's still holding onto THAT, and it makes no sense to allow him to rub it all over you.

Head high, and walk FORward.

He sounds pathetic. some people need to be broken down to the ground to mature.

He insists on getting me to wrestle with him and after a good 10 minutes of being provoked, I get up and push him away which leads to wrestling. He tries to kiss me a couple times, but I turn my head every time, pins me in awkward somewhat sexual positions and blows me raspberries on my stomach and my upper breast. I keep pushing him away and try to keep it on a strict friend-level. That goes on for a good hour and a half, and then we head out to his truck to go to the aquatic center.

But, at least you learned from it that he's a weenie and not worth shedding any more tears over. Onward and upward!

Hopefully seeing the man he has become will help you heal! Sorry you had to go through that.....he's a JERK!

"I'm not going to be the rebound for the relationship you left me for."

That is a brilliant line. I think the movies would want to use that! And certainly the spirit you should adhere to.

As for your cousin, that was pure art.

You weren't harsh enough, I am sure the police would have let you off for all kinds of criminal damage under the circumstances!

You handled this like a woman of high self worth. The joke is, in the not so distant future, this guy is going to do an about turn and realise he blew it with a most decent and classy woman for the sake of cheap thrills with a woman who proved to be let's say a little bit unexpensive.

He might even get back in touch and this time ACTUALLY repent. And you are going to dismiss him again in your usual, high value, dignified manner (and hopefully, just for comic effect, your cousin will chip in with her gems of wisdom to boot).

Power to you. x