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Thread: "I dont know if I'm in love with you anymore.."

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    The first person I would consult is an attorney. You may be informed that filing for a legal separation protects you in certain ways--such as limiting your liability for shared debt (possibly relieving you of any expenses he incurs after leaving and protecting your rights to shared assets).

    Filing for separation is not the same as filing for divorce--I'd let him do any heavy lifting in any direction you don't want to go.

    I'd also consult a therapist, your family, church and local human services agency for emotional help and for help with your children. Things like how to speak with them about this--and what NOT to say and do, ways to find assistance with babysitting and physical care.

    Your attorney can also advise you on best ways to work out his visitation--such as limiting his access to the property to arranged times, and certainly CHANGING YOUR LOCKS.

    This man needs to feel the full implications of being cut off from all that he's walked away from--which also means zero access to your body and marital bed. Finding a balance to avoid depriving your children of access to their father is a tricky road, and that's why an attorney and a therapist are essential.

    My heart goes out to you, and I hope you'll write more if it helps.

  2. #12
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    Oh boy! He wants to have his cake and eat it to. The way he wants it is not the way it is going to be. Get a lawyer. Get financial support from him for you and your kids and start acting selfish because that is what you need to do now. He is going to need to be forced into accepting responsibility, and that is what the courts are for. Get lawyered up! He may have second thoughts when he realizes how things are actually going to be. Then it will be your decision to make if you want someone who is irresponsible as he has shown himself to be. Sounds like he is having a midlife crisis.....=; Don't put up with it. Pull yourself together and be strong for you and your children. You will get through this...chi

  3. #13
    Platinum Member redrose85's Avatar
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    What. a. jerk. Wow. I am very sorry that your husband is doing this to you. Was there ever any indication that he couldn't handle being a "family man"?
    He's broken the marriage vows, so time to serve him some divorce papers and cut him off. You should know that I don't take divorce lightly, so this is not something I'd typically suggest. He doesn't deserve to be married to you and you deserve so much better.

  4. #14
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    I have no advice to offer, just want to say I am so sorry. That is unbelievable, to want a divorce is one thing, but that anyone could show such total disregard for the mother of his children (never mind a 2 week old baby!) is mind blowing. I am so sorry for the pain his actions must be causing.

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  6. #15
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    Very sad- some men confuse lust with love and as that new spark has worn off he is thinking he doesn't love you anymore. Think long and hard about whether you want a man who can say he wants to date other people when you have given birth to two of his children, it's just the utmost betrayal and paints him as very superficial

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