Hurting myself made me feel happy? What?

Okay i was irritated as heck due to panic attacks all day everyday and i felt the urge to stab myself, (i always feel bad but i never actually act on it) reached on the shelf next to me and grabbed a spoon (thought it was a fork grr) and i just stabbed my arm with it, just to let out all my bottled rage, and it hurt like it felt like it was bruising but after the forth time i started to giggle, i dont know why and then right after i felt this overwelming calmness, i was happy...perfectly fine...it washed over me so fast and im freaked out. What's the cause of the happy feeling?

It's venting.. what you did was a 'release', so you let it all out, so to speak and now feel some 'relief'.

I did self injury in my teens, yes it helped a bit afterwards, BUT seeked help within the year as I could feel THAT was NOT going to help me at all!

I suggest you look into some serious help.. if you keep 'wanting' to do that as your form of 'relief/release'.

It can keep getting worse or more often but you're just hurting yourself- causing damage. Your body does NOT need that.

Counselling, therapy or something. You take something for the anxiety? Im on cipralex.

Pls dont continue with this ok.

Okay i was irritated as heck due to panic attacks all day everyday and i felt the urge to stab myself, (i always feel bad but i never actually act on it) reached on the shelf next to me and grabbed a spoon (thought it was a fork grr) and i just stabbed my arm with it, just to let out all my bottled rage, and it hurt like it felt like it was bruising but after the forth time i started to giggle, i dont know why and then right after i felt this overwelming calmness, i was happy...perfectly fine...it washed over me so fast and im freaked out. What's the cause of the happy feeling?

Turn on a song you like and just start dancing and gyrating around. Sounds silly but something like that will get some endorphins flowing and will swing your mood at least temporarily. At least it sounds like a better alternative than harming yourself in any way, even if it is with a spoon..

Yeah, it's venting . . . for some people the rush of endorphins after the pain is more intense and causes more feelings of relief than it does others. A healthier way to get that same effect might be to try weight-lifting or running (but don't overdo it and really injure yourself - the idea is just to push yourself enough that you feel some burn in the muscles, and it also releases endorphins).

But another component of self-injury is the wish to, well, injure oneself. To annihilate, destroy . . . and also to hopefully alleviate the painful emotions you are feeling . . . this component is not to be overlooked. What's behind that? (Rhetorical, but something you might consider exploring alone or in therapy.)

the happy feeling comes from a fast release. the trick is - it will come again and again, if you use self-harm technique to solve your problems. try meditating instead, it will most probably frustrate you even more at first, but at least you will really solve your struggles not just give them a temporary relief. sport is nice too.

I would cut when a teen and only recently did again over recent breakup I felt easier to hide in winter so who will see But didn't make me feel better after like it used too still had relationship pain and now nasty cuts to look at too. I tried journaling but re reading my pain is super depressing and didn't help me at all only thing that comes close to helping is drawing how I feel then burning them later on. Letting go of pain should be easier makes me jealous of ones who don't hold onto to anything negative and grow from pain and lost.. happy feeling is that you get distracted off bad thoughts with new cut or its new pain. But like I said then you are left with an extra thing to worry about so not worth it so better not to cut or self harm and channel it into something more creative hard to do but good to try *hugs*

link removed a very helpful website