"Everyone"

Alrighty well quite a while ago I came on here and wrote a few poem-type things that were really happy and everything was going great. For some reason I've been having quite a few issues lately, not with anyone else really just within myself... I decided to write down how I feel so this is what I came up with. It was longer then I thought, but you never really know how these things will turn out... I appreciate any and all feedback, whether it be constructive criticism or just a reflection. Without further ado, here it is:

Everyone else believes it.

Everyone thinks they see.

Everyone else believes it.

Everyone else but not me.

I stand on the stage of the world,

And as the cutain rises I gasp.

I reach for a spotlight to claim,

But they all slip away from my grasp.

I sit in the dark and I ponder,

why somebody else stole the show.

My mind starts to race and I curse at myself

Why them and not me? I don't know.

Perhaps it was flaws in my singing,

a few little notes out of key.

Perhaps I was just bad at dancing,

and they were all laughing at me.

I sit and I think and I question,

too occupied to notice or realise

That as I sit in darkness and question myself,

Chances are passing before my eyes.

Then I notice too late and the questioning stays

A viscous cycle which seems without end.

I sit and I wait and I think and I curse

Not budging not willing to bend.

I search inside for answers

Ingnoring every kind-hearted hand.

Inside I question if the moment in light

is even worth starting to stand

Because the moments I feel confident

And rise to reach out for the light

The times that I fail settle into my head

and the failures just fill me with fright.

My mind ignores the victories,

the losses fill my heart

I don't even stand as often

stopping myself before I start.

Every drip of self doubt

is another piece of hay

upon the pile on my back

which broke along the way.

Everyone calls out to me

"Don't give up keep trying"

'What use is it?' I answer

before breaking down and crying.

They tell me all these stories

all these things that I could do.

They tell me tales of happy endings

and how to make them come true.

They try and try to show me

but I still just cannot see.

I sit alone in darkness

and I cannot believe in me.