Suffered an early miscarriage. Feeling lost.

Our son is nearly 1 soon and this was our first month trying for a brother or sister for him. I was a few days late and did a pregnancy test. Positive. Did a load more and all positive.

Then this very morning I had awful bleeding and cramping. Much worse than a period. I've spoken to the doctor on the phone and he just said to rest and take it easy and it just sounds like a very early miscarriage or what they call a 'chemical' pregnancy.

I was around 4.5 weeks pregnant as I have quite long cycles.

I'm devastated. I don't know how to feel or cope. Guess I'm just looking for some reassurance...

In my heart I know it means there was something wrong with the baby and it wasn't meant to be but to be going from cuddling with my husband so excited to bleeding and cramping within 24 hours....I just feel so down

It will be ok my friend. Grieve your loss in your own way. Know that your body did what it had to do to keep everything safe and healthy. Spend lots of time with your hubby and draw each other closer. And know that in your heart there will be more babies in your future.

*hugs*

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take it easy.

Thank you. I feel more comfortable sharing it here. I don't really want to tell anyone in real life that I don't need too as I think a lot of people don't know what to say or how to deal with it as it's such a personal and sensetive subject.

Your kind words have made me feel a lot better

I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and grieve. Trust that your body knew something wasn't right. It's never easy regardless.

Thank you.

I think I just took for granted I had one baby fine and never thought this would happen to me

I know it's so early, but to me it was the beginning of a life and it's hard to know that potentials lost. Even if it was for the best

I'm sorry, I hope you feel better soon.

Sorry to hear that Saphire. My sister had an eptopic pregnancy when she was in her mid twenties, and still talks about the "child" she lost. However, she went on to have a son a few years later (new husband). I am sorry for your loss.

Thank you for your kind words Brian

Mhowe - I'm glad your sister went onto have a healthy child Thank you for your kind words

Just hoping it doesn't happen again

I'm so so sorry to hear that. I had 2 miscarriages before I had our little boy in August. It was very difficult for me- I was surprised by how difficult it was to process emotionally. Just be extra good to yourself over the next days and weeks. Get as much sleep as possible too (I know it's hard with a 1 year old...). (hugs)

Thank you. Sorry for your losses.

It is a very strange feeling

I'm so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Im really sorry for your loss. Have you and your partner been talking about this or have you both avoided the conversation?

It happened this morning and he's been at work so haven't had much time to process or talk about it. Just in a lot of pain physically with cramping and bleeding.

Not a nice feeling.

thank you guys I can always count on this site to make me feel better

I am so very sorry love. Be kind with yourself. Take your time to grieve . Hugs.

If you ever need to talk to anybody I am here. I understand as I have had four miscarriages.

awww saph I am sorry .... I have been there as well , two misses and an eptopic ...I understand , and you need to grieve like you would grieve any loss ..we are catapulted from sheer joy with all our plans to total emptiness , love and hugs to you xx

maybe you would like to light a candle for your little angel xxxx

link removed

I'm so sorry Saph.

My wife had two early miscarriages and one 2nd trimester where she had to deliver.

I can tell you that the third one nearly broke me. We had planned so much.

Grieving is a big part of what "saved" us as individuals and as a couple. Prayers for you and your husband.

My wife had two early miscarriages and one 2nd trimester where she had to deliver.

 

I can tell you that the third one nearly broke me. We had planned so much.

 

Grieving is a big part of what "saved" us as individuals and as a couple. Prayers for you and your husband.

I agree . My second trimester one where I had to deliver my son nearly broke me too.

Sapphire it will be much better when your husband gets home and you are able to take comfort in each other. Hugs.

I agree . My second trimester one where I had to deliver my son nearly broke me too.

Sapphire it will be much better when your husband gets home and you are able to take comfort in each other. Hugs.

And know this.

The first miscarriage my wife suffered.....well, there is just no other way to put it.

I am ashamed of the way I reacted to the news. I. Had. No. Clue.

None whatsoever.

The second one I wasn't much better at the way I reacted. I failed, and failed miserably, to empathize and truly "be" there for her. Oh sure, I was nice to her and was doing the things that I thought I should be doing at the time.

But that third one.........I know what a loss it is now. She came home and told me and I hit the floor. Collapsed. I'll never forget her and me crying in a heap together.

I pray that he understands better than I did. Truly I do. Because a woman suffering that needs her man to know the hurt, to know the meaning behind the tears.

I know......I wish I didn't......but I know.

And I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It would have hurt less to just shoot me. I tear up now........nearly 8 years later.

BUT, if there were any postitive to come from it, it has made me a much better husband and father. It makes me appreciate what I do have, rather than dwell on what I don't. It makes me value time spent together on a different level......

And....when it happened to a coworker recently.....it allowed me to be there for him and to let him vent.......and to help him grieve........in a cold parking lot..........the two of us alone with our experiences....his fresh....mine distant.

Grieve. And heal.

Regards.

I am so very sorry love. Be kind with yourself. Take your time to grieve . Hugs.

If you ever need to talk to anybody I am here. I understand as I have had four miscarriages.

I'm sorry you've had to suffer those losses. You are a brave brave lady. Thank you for your kind words and offer x

awww saph I am sorry .... I have been there as well , two misses and an eptopic ...I understand , and you need to grieve like you would grieve any loss ..we are catapulted from sheer joy with all our plans to total emptiness , love and hugs to you xx

 

maybe you would like to light a candle for your little angel xxxx

 

link removed

Thank you. That link is lovely.

I know it was still early days but it still feels like a real 'loss' to me. I know people go through so much worse and I'm trying to look on the positive side that there was probably something wrong with the foetus and that it's better to happen now than further along but I just feel so sad.

I'm sorry to hear about your losses.

As horrible as these things are I feel better knowing I'm not alone in what has happened.

^ Sometimes it is harder for the man to relate. My husband talked about it for two weeks and then never discussed it again and never wanted to talk about it again. So I kind of had to suffer it alone. It is only this past year that he kind of discussed how much it hurt him too. And we lost our son six years ago now. But my final miscarriage in 2011 he finally understood and was very empathetic.

I don't think my husband knows what to say or do. He's been supportive as he can be but at the same time it's different...it's still a huge loss but he isn't feeling the physical pain and the bleeding.

He said he is trying to be strong for the both of us but it also comes accross as him not being affected by it...but I know he is he's just rubbish at showing how he feels sometimes.

I'm so sorry for yours and your wives losses .Your post is really insightful and has made me feel a lot better. You sound like you have such a good attitude about it all.

Thank you again for sharing your story with me.

Thank you. That link is lovely.

 

I know it was still early days but it still feels like a real 'loss' to me. I know people go through so much worse and I'm trying to look on the positive side that there was probably something wrong with the foetus and that it's better to happen now than further along but I just feel so sad.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your losses.

 

As horrible as these things are I feel better knowing I'm not alone in what has happened.

oh it is a loss ..oh saph from the minute we know we have a baby our little heads start churning away ...I had no idea until it happened to me , just how tragic and devastating it is .

as I was coming round from the op to remove my tube and baby , I remember the consultant coming over and saying " before you ask , no you did nothing wrong , no it wasn't gods will , no its not a form of punishment , no you don't deserve it and no ..there is nothing you could have done to prevent it " ..... so I guess he has heard every story in the book ..every blame , guilt , why why why's in the world ....the only one thing we do know is those little angels where just not meant to be ..and our bodies have a way of making sure it doesnt happen .

thankyou for your kind words back to me x