Youre thinking of them but the are probably not thinking of you

Entering week 6 of NC. My realtionship with this girl was short, not even 6 months. And she was mean and abusive.

I can't stop thinking about her, Feeling hurt. Missing her.

I hate the idea that im spending my energy thinking about her.. trying to resist urges to contact when she probably already has a new guy. Been having sex... and getting tonnes of validation from her guy friends. I wish i could just turn of this brain because i KNOW that thinking about her is a waste of time.

No question here... share your thoughts if you want.

I feel like this too - I think about him all the time

And I know he doesnt think about me, and if he does, it would probably be bad thoughts, considering my behaviour at the end. It has been 6 months for me since the break up and only about 3 weeks of NC.

I am waiting for it to get better. I still have the urge to contact him, but I know there is no point

I feel like this too - I think about him all the time

 

And I know he doesnt think about me, and if he does, it would probably be bad thoughts, considering my behaviour at the end. It has been 6 months for me since the break up and only about 3 weeks of NC.

 

I am waiting for it to get better. I still have the urge to contact him, but I know there is no point

So what was happening in the 6 months you were broken up but still contacting?

Utter madness pretty much.

Still sleeping together - even though he was starting a relationship with someone else It wasnt frequent , but it still kept me holding on to him, i couldnt let go

I think i was in such shock in hindsight - i dont know. I was wanting to work it out - and he didnt want to, he even told me that. But I decided not to believe him.

So I am starting now - when i should have started nc months ago

NC is a hard journey. Are you confident that you are gonna be able to do it?

He wouldnt respond anyway - pretty much the last communication was that I should seek professional help, and that he understands what I am going through. My last few messages to him were pretty nasty.

It was like I couldnt control myself and I was obviously hurting - he had downplayed the relationship , not that it should have mattered i should have removed myself straight away, but once he told me it was serious , i lost it . And that pretty much ended my contact with him. Part of me still hopes there is a change, but i doubt it.

Hope is the hardest thing for me at the moment, I need to let that go

Did you go NC straight away? What would you say if you did contact her?

Hope make me feel so stupid

Yes, it makes me feel stupid too

And given the nature of the break up - I know it would be a long time before either of us are ready to let all the resentment go

I have been pretending I don't miss my ex...posting all of this funny happy stuff on facebook, but I have cried my eyes out in private, and I do miss him so much.

You never know who might be thinking of and missing you...

Were you the one who ended it ?

Entering week 6 of NC. My realtionship with this girl was short, not even 6 months. And she was mean and abusive.

 

I can't stop thinking about her, Feeling hurt. Missing her.

 

I hate the idea that im spending my energy thinking about her.. trying to resist urges to contact when she probably already has a new guy. Been having sex... and getting tonnes of validation from her guy friends. I wish i could just turn of this brain because i KNOW that thinking about her is a waste of time.

 

No question here... share your thoughts if you want.

You are really kicking yourself while you're down.

It would be IMPOSSIBLE for your ex to not think of you. However, it does not mean they want to be in a relationship with you. You're making this far more extreme than it really is. Yes, your ex could have moved on, and yes they could be happy, but how is that detrimental to you? You too can be happy. Your ex doesn't hold the key for your happiness. You do. You simply forgot the key was in your hands this whole time. Remember life isn't black and white, it's all the stuff that's in between.

You're not okay, I'm not okay but that's okay.

Dave if I remember correctly me n u have similar situations, our relationships were short lived and we were both used as rebounds...and there not thinking about us because we were false feelings aka a band aid fir them ti recover from there previous ex..and it sucks.

You have to convince yourself of the bad things about her and what she because towards you during the time you two were together is what she ended up being towards you.

Not the person you met and fell for.

it's been over a year and I still love my ex

Entering week 6 of NC. My realtionship with this girl was short, not even 6 months. And she was mean and abusive.

 

I can't stop thinking about her, Feeling hurt. Missing her.

Why do you miss someone that was mean and abusive?

Why do you miss someone that was mean and abusive?

People can't help who they love. Even after the person treats you like crap and breaks your heart, it's hard to just stop loving them. I no my ex doesn't think of me anymore, we broke up 6 months ago and haven't had communication the entire time. I still think about her daily and I think I still love her but I realized im starting to change and im healing slowly but surely

Why do you miss someone that was mean and abusive?

I miss abusive ex's to a degree when I still remember the person they were before they were abusive.

We do not miss the abusive person they became but the person they were before and inbetween the time they were abusive.

People can't help who they love. Even after the person treats you like crap and breaks your heart, it's hard to just stop loving them. I no my ex doesn't think of me anymore, we broke up 6 months ago and haven't had communication the entire time. I still think about her daily and I think I still love her but I realized im starting to change and im healing slowly but surely

I hope I can get to that point soon, cause this is the pits.....I can't sleep for the nightmares, I feel like I'm constantly in a fog, and I m having a hard time trying to act like everything is okay with me when its not and trying to let my children know its normal for mom to grieve and cry....granted it's only been a week of absolute heck, with court being on Wednesday..... Please keep me and my children in your thoughts.

I miss abusive ex's to a degree when I still remember the person they were before they were abusive.

We do not miss the abusive person they became but the person they were before and inbetween the time they were abusive.

Very true...still hoping for that person to walk back in through the door and to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

I hope I can get to that point soon, cause this is the pits.....I can't sleep for the nightmares, I feel like I'm constantly in a fog, and I m having a hard time trying to act like everything is okay with me when its not and trying to let my children know its normal for mom to grieve and cry....granted it's only been a week of absolute heck, with court being on Wednesday..... Please keep me and my children in your thoughts.

Of course! I know it's tough now, the first month of my break up I was a walking zombie. You learn a lot about yourself during this time and this is a process you and the rest of us will never forget.

3 months post break up- after ltr of 5 yrs. Still broken with moments of tears. Because I do love him & he knows it.

He has admitted he 'still loves me' about a month ago and has continously told me since then he 'misses me too'.

Wanted to come see me (visit) i replied yesterday, via text 'No'. I dont think i could handle it, he's seeing someone now

Some say what's happened re: him 'persuing' someone BEFORE our relationship ended means 'she' is NOT a rebound, but I understand she is, since he did NOT give any time between relationships/moving on. he is not emotionally stable enough yet to give his all (half hearted?). I'd think so, since he is still 'into me'?

Anyways, I AM still very emotional- not as zombie like but still tears thru the day. I am on anxiety med's and seeking counseling. I did fall apart and lost 15 lbs in 10 weeks ( June-mid Aug). True LOSS can really affect someone in a negative way.

Can take many months to get back to normal again. Accept everything and be able to move on.