Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Dumpers and Rebounders: Can you describe your "Relationship" experiences?

  1. #1
    SooSad33
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,670
    Thanked
    772

    Dumpers and Rebounders: Can you describe your "Relationship" experiences?

    I have been thinking of some questions geared towards those who've either 'dumped' and moved on or those who've had 'Rebound relationships' (moved on quickly into another relation after a LTR ended).

    I have seen a few stories lately from an occasional dumper or someone who thought they may have been in a 'rebound'. So, i'd like to ask you:?

    1) Is it more common for the dumper or dumpee to run into a new relationship? ("rebound").
    (were YOU a dumper or dumpee?)

    2) Can you describe what they are like? Are they good at first? For how long before you noticed changes?
    Did YOU feel like there was some kind of 'honeymoon stage' at first? For how long..

    3) During your time with the 'new' person, were you often thinking about your Ex?
    (when.. first thing in the morning? While driving..? or brought on by 'memories'?)

    4) Did you feel over time that things moved too fast for you- which made you question everything?

    5) How long in did you start second guessing the new relationship?

    5) Did you end it or them?

    6) Did yo go back to your Ex or consider it?

    Feel free to explain more further your thoughts/feelings on what you experienced or felt during this relationship time.
    I'm just trying to understand what goes on when someone enters into a new relationship, after their Long term relation just ended.

    As for 'dumpers', I understand, some were 'necessary' and some of you still 'felt a lot' as in loss or pain after your break up of LTR?

    TY

  2. #2
    SooSad33
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,670
    Thanked
    772
    Did anyone feel like their actual 'feelings' for their new partner were unreal (like love), and that it was actually what you were still feeling for your 'Ex'?
    I've heard of that before. Some guy explained it as he 'hardly knew her' and the 'love' he felt (strong emotions) were what he brought into his new relation- mistakingly and he ended that relationship and went single for a good while, so he could deal with what was actually going on.
    he said it all felt wrong.

  3. #3
    mhowe
    Platinum Member mhowe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Age
    55
    Posts
    42,283
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    7448
    They enjoy the new relationship because they emotionally checked out of the old one.
    They are looking forward ----not backward.

    The best thing to do is stop thinking of your ex's new relationship as a rebound. It may be, or it may end in marriage. Whatever it is, however, has nothing to do with you any more.

    You need to start looking forward, because analyzing his behavior is looking in the past and you cannot change that.

  4. #4
    iam42
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    750
    Thanked
    5
    ^^^^ agreed, 100%

  5. #5
    greta96
    Platinum Member greta96's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    USA
    Age
    38
    Posts
    3,661
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1851
    I was supposed to be a guy's rebound, he had been dumped after a 7 year relationship, against his will, and had trouble moving on. Then he met me, 3 months after the breakup, and we started going out (I didn't know at the time that I was a rebound, or I wouldn't have gone for it).

    In the beginning, he was talking about his ex a bit too much, which raised the red flags. He had lots of pictures of her in his phone (he showed them to me!), so I knew he still had feelings for her. He kept insisting he was over her, that he wanted to pursue something with me, so against my better judgement I continued dating him. Soon enough I found out he was still keeping in touch with her, so I decided to end things, because nobody likes to be second choice, right? Also, he wasn't my type at all, we had nothing in common and I wasn't that into him anyway, so the next time he told me he had talked to her, I used it as a reason to dump him. All this happened within about 2 months.

    Turns out he had actually developed real feelings for me. He begged me to stay, he admitted I had been a rebound initially, but then he fell in love with me, and realized I was a much better match for him than his ex. He deleted all of her pictures from his phone, he deleted her from his social media, he did everything he should have done at the beginning of our relationship - only too late.

    He had a really tough time letting go of ME, and his ex became history in his mind. He was after me for over a month after I ended it with him, texted me almost daily begging for another chance. He was prepared to do whatever it took if only I came back. To this day, he still tries to change my mind, he shows up in places he knows I go to with different women, to "make me jealous" (LOL!!!), and he seems to have a hard time moving on from me.

    So to answer your question, yes, it is possible for an ex's rebound to turn into the love of his life. He may think about his ex in the beginning, but if the rebound is a better match for him than his ex was, the ex will be soon forgotten.
    He may try to get back with his ex, IF the rebound dumps him (because she didn't want to be a rebound).

  6. #6
    Snny
    Forum Supporter Snny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    4,837
    Thanked
    641
    1) Is it more common for the dumper or dumpee to run into a new relationship? ("rebound"). (were YOU a dumper or dumpee?)
    It goes either way and I was both.

    2) Can you describe what they are like? Are they good at first? For how long before you noticed changes? Did YOU feel like there was some kind of 'honeymoon stage' at first? For how long.
    Fulfilling at first because I was using a person to help me overcome someone else. Keyword: USING. I dated on and off with different people to rebound.

    3) During your time with the 'new' person, were you often thinking about your Ex? (when.. first thing in the morning? While driving..? or brought on by 'memories'?)
    I was not over my ex until three months into the relationship with guy #2. I did not contact him at all while I was dating other people. I can't really remember when since it was several years ago.

    4) Did you feel over time that things moved too fast for you- which made you question everything?
    I purposely was moving fast just to keep my ex out of my mind. I even date hopped- went from one guy to another. It was fun for awhile. One of the reasons I broke up was so I can date around... but I later discovered I did not get over my ex that way.

    5) How long in did you start second guessing the new relationship?
    Did not apply.

    5) Did you end it or them?
    I ended it with two guys. Not only were they not compatible as I thought they were, but they just did not meet my needs and expectations at a "reasonable time."

    6) Did you go back to your Ex or consider it?
    As a matter of fact I am marrying him. It's funny how things work, but sometimes a break up can be for the best for btter changes. He got his stuff together in college finally and we rekindled after a year when meeting back up at a mutual friend's party. At the time I wasn't considering it until a few weeks after the party. I have no shame. :P
    Last edited by Snny; 08-16-2013 at 10:54 AM.

  7. #7
    SooSad33
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    5,670
    Thanked
    772
    I see, interesting, okay thanks ..

  8.  

Top Threads
Is it a deal breaker for most women if a man does not believe in marriage?
I don't believe in the institute of marriage and because of my lack of belief, I have no intention of getting married, I know marriage is important
Can anyone figure out how this guy really feels about me ?
This is a little bit complicated. Me and this guy we started off as really good friends for like a couple of years. At the time he was talking to
I don't want us to live next to his parents!
Hey everyone, I'm yet again back with another issue which I would like your advice on. Just quickly to say im in my early 20's as well as my
Is sexting cheating if it makes your relationship/sex life better?
So I've been with my boyfriend for five years and I love him. I wouldn't dream do anything unfaithful or that would hurt him. A (male) friend and I
Ladies Night, should I be jealous?
My girlfriend of ten years or so decided she was going on a ladies night with whoever and I found out because I snooped on her phone. Got jealous /
I have to choose. My best friend or my girlfriend.
First off I'm sorry if I, Andrew, Contradict myself in this. Please ask questions, if necessary. People : Andrew (18/M), Emily (17/F) , Sally
Please Help! (I think I'm going insane)
Hello All, I don't even know where to begin. I met this guy about five months ago through a friend and we were instantly attracted to each other

Featured Threads
Who is in the wrong?
This person isn't really a "friend" she is 24+ years older than me. I have a feeling I'm getting taken advantage of because of my age. I started
I became engaged with a girl who calls herself a "free spirit"......need clarity
I met a wonderful and bright girl 3.5 years ago and she by far stole my heart. She is appositely beautiful, funny, intelligent and outgoing. She is
Has anyone ever totally given up on finding love?
Hello everyone! Well I been wanting to post this for a few weeks now. I don't really know how to say it or word it. But, who here has or knows
Today "should" have been our 6 year anniversary
Today was suppose to be our 6th year together. Today is the first time on this date that we are not together. We made this date a big deal
Shoud I break up because my girlfriend hooked up with my cousin in t
I'm jealous because my girlfriend had casual sex with my cousin before she met me. We've been dating for a year, she's very funny, caring, sexy
I'm in love with my co-worker 😥
My coworker and I started working together about 10 months ago. We work closely together all day just the two of us mainly. From the day he started
Aggressive Courting
There's this girl I really, really like, and would really want to be in a relationship with. Unfortunately, recently I messed up, and now I think she
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •