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Thread: In love with the same person for 6 years, unrequited.

  1. #1
    ForeverAlone28
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    In love with the same person for 6 years, unrequited.

    Do you think you can be in love with the same person your whole life, even if they never return the feelings?

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    Blue68
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    Possibly, if you allow yourself to be. Personally I would have distracted myself from them in as many ways possible and created a life that did not include them in it at all. With them not in your sights you are paving the way for someone else to be. If you are allowing them to remain in your sight, and therefore become an obstacle in your way, you are stopping yourself from having any quality of life.

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    Robin2904
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    I think if its totally unrequited then it more leans towards lust then love. You're in love with a fantasy because you don't really know what its like to BE with that person. Not to say your feelings aren't strong and real, but it is only a fantasy since you have nothing to base it on. I do think it is possible though. Don't let it be the front and center thing in your life as said above. If you try to move past it and create distractions in life it won't overwhelm you and eventually you may be able to get past it.

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    ForeverAlone28
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    Is it possible, out of no control of your own, to never lose feelings?

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    JulianaF57
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    Yes, you could be in unrequited love for your whole life. You'd be pretty unhappy, though, so I'd do something -- anything -- to change the situation. You could either propose marriage, or move out of the country. Either would be better than a lifetime of loneliness.

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    Tarkan
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAlone28 [Register to see the link]
    Do you think you can be in love with the same person your whole life, even if they never return the feelings?
    It happens. This reminds me the issue that some "nice" people have. Always in love with someone that doesn't love them back. Usually in love with their own projection of that person, and refusing to see the obvious.

    But the question you asked would lead to another question of mine: Are you in such a situation and does it make you sad ?

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    ForeverAlone28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tarkan [Register to see the link]
    It happens. This reminds me the issue that some "nice" people have. Always in love with someone that doesn't love them back. Usually in love with their own projection of that person, and refusing to see the obvious.

    But the question you asked would lead to another question of mine: Are you in such a situation and does it make you sad ?
    Yes, and it's completely out of my control. I literally cannot help the way I feel.

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    ForeverAlone28
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    It also doesn't help that I am not physically attracted to many men.

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    mbee
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    I've been there. I still love the same guy for 8 years, but I'm not in love with him anymore. The difference is I dated other guys and allowed myself to fall in love again, with my current ex-boyfriend. I think it's normal to have always a loving spot for someone you were in love with. That's how I feel for this guy who I had unrequited love with and I might have that about my ex-boyfriend (but he betrayed me and tore apart my heart so it's different) but only time will tell.

    But honestly, I sometimes fantasize and wonder what would happen if my unrequited love called me, said they wanted to give it a shot, etc. Like everyone said, I don't really know him anymore. I have NO IDEA what a relationship would be like with him at this stage in our lives. To be honest, I doubt it would work out which is probably how my love for him evolved from romantic to purely unconditional, unattached love. The only way that happened is by knowing the reality. One he doesn't love me and then, he may not be the person I picture him to be. People do this all the time sadly. It happens with affairs, the initial moments of clicking with someone, etc. We create this fantasy that may or may not be true. With situations like unrequited love, it's almost always untrue.

    You got to learn to let go and open your hearts to others. My ex-boyfriend who I am in love with, I wasn't immediately physically attracted to him (we met online). After our first date, we stayed up till 3am talking and I had NO IDEA if I wanted us to be more than friends. On our 2nd date he asked to kiss me and I still wasn't sure. A few weeks later, I couldn't get him out of my head. A couple of weeks after that I was madly in love. Try to not let physical attraction stop you. If it's such a problem then get to know someone emotionally, and see if your feelings change.

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