Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: In love with the same person for 6 years, unrequited.

  1. #1
    ForeverAlone28
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    85

    In love with the same person for 6 years, unrequited.

    Do you think you can be in love with the same person your whole life, even if they never return the feelings?

  2. #2
    Blue68
    Platinum Member Blue68's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    8,043
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    672
    Possibly, if you allow yourself to be. Personally I would have distracted myself from them in as many ways possible and created a life that did not include them in it at all. With them not in your sights you are paving the way for someone else to be. If you are allowing them to remain in your sight, and therefore become an obstacle in your way, you are stopping yourself from having any quality of life.

  3. #3
    Robin2904
    Platinum Member Robin2904's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    1,127
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    123
    I think if its totally unrequited then it more leans towards lust then love. You're in love with a fantasy because you don't really know what its like to BE with that person. Not to say your feelings aren't strong and real, but it is only a fantasy since you have nothing to base it on. I do think it is possible though. Don't let it be the front and center thing in your life as said above. If you try to move past it and create distractions in life it won't overwhelm you and eventually you may be able to get past it.

  4. #4
    ForeverAlone28
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    85
    Is it possible, out of no control of your own, to never lose feelings?

  5. #5
    JulianaF57
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    47
    Yes, you could be in unrequited love for your whole life. You'd be pretty unhappy, though, so I'd do something -- anything -- to change the situation. You could either propose marriage, or move out of the country. Either would be better than a lifetime of loneliness.

  6. #6
    Tarkan
    Gold Member Tarkan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Somewhere in Europe
    Age
    31
    Posts
    780
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAlone28 [Register to see the link]
    Do you think you can be in love with the same person your whole life, even if they never return the feelings?
    It happens. This reminds me the issue that some "nice" people have. Always in love with someone that doesn't love them back. Usually in love with their own projection of that person, and refusing to see the obvious.

    But the question you asked would lead to another question of mine: Are you in such a situation and does it make you sad ?

  7. #7
    ForeverAlone28
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    85
    Quote Originally Posted by Tarkan [Register to see the link]
    It happens. This reminds me the issue that some "nice" people have. Always in love with someone that doesn't love them back. Usually in love with their own projection of that person, and refusing to see the obvious.

    But the question you asked would lead to another question of mine: Are you in such a situation and does it make you sad ?
    Yes, and it's completely out of my control. I literally cannot help the way I feel.

  8. #8
    ForeverAlone28
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    85
    It also doesn't help that I am not physically attracted to many men.

  9. #9
    mbee
    Platinum Member mbee's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Aus
    Posts
    1,135
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    68
    I've been there. I still love the same guy for 8 years, but I'm not in love with him anymore. The difference is I dated other guys and allowed myself to fall in love again, with my current ex-boyfriend. I think it's normal to have always a loving spot for someone you were in love with. That's how I feel for this guy who I had unrequited love with and I might have that about my ex-boyfriend (but he betrayed me and tore apart my heart so it's different) but only time will tell.

    But honestly, I sometimes fantasize and wonder what would happen if my unrequited love called me, said they wanted to give it a shot, etc. Like everyone said, I don't really know him anymore. I have NO IDEA what a relationship would be like with him at this stage in our lives. To be honest, I doubt it would work out which is probably how my love for him evolved from romantic to purely unconditional, unattached love. The only way that happened is by knowing the reality. One he doesn't love me and then, he may not be the person I picture him to be. People do this all the time sadly. It happens with affairs, the initial moments of clicking with someone, etc. We create this fantasy that may or may not be true. With situations like unrequited love, it's almost always untrue.

    You got to learn to let go and open your hearts to others. My ex-boyfriend who I am in love with, I wasn't immediately physically attracted to him (we met online). After our first date, we stayed up till 3am talking and I had NO IDEA if I wanted us to be more than friends. On our 2nd date he asked to kiss me and I still wasn't sure. A few weeks later, I couldn't get him out of my head. A couple of weeks after that I was madly in love. Try to not let physical attraction stop you. If it's such a problem then get to know someone emotionally, and see if your feelings change.

  10.  

Top Threads
Question
I'm in a LTR and we love each other very much, I'm more physical I like to hug and kiss and be more touchy feely than she does. She says she is not
I don't know what to do anymore
In my senior year of highschool a guy that had just moved here started talking to me in class. He had no friends and didn't know anyone in the state
Moving on
Hello all, this is my first post on this site so please bare with me. First I'll give a little background on myself: I am a 21 year old male I
To the man i've loved for years... I guess it's goodbye?
To this man I want to say that the time we have spent together has been amazing. The late nights watching movies, talking and laughing and cuddling

Featured Threads
Controlling or very opinionated?
Hi, my name is Michael. I came here for some advice on my girlfriend and I's relationship. I am 17 and she is 16 and we've been dating for just shy
Women who prefer/only date younger men
I am dating a woman who is 9 years older than me. However, going after younger guys doesn't appear to be her pattern. In fact, the age difference
Still feels like the first day...
Long long story short.. I'll Coles notes it. I meet the love of my life at a gig I was playing, we ended up not spending a single night apart for
My partner and I have different goals, values, and thinking, should we continue?
My partner and I met a couple years ago when she moved to the city I lived in. We had shared a group of friends but never really knew each other
I'm hurt and not sure what to do ...
So ,this is my first time posting here ,but My mother always said it helps to write things down .So here it goes ! ^^ For a couple of weeks now
Who Am I and What do I Want?
Hi everyone, and thanks for reading this. At the moment I feel like I am having some sort of identity crisis, whilst not knowing what I want for
Is it wrong that I still talk to my ex boyfriend?
My ex boyfriend dumped me last week because he was pressuring me to have sex and I wasn't ready to have sex and he keeps calling and texting me every
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •